Going to Uni - Do you keep the biggest bedroom?

[chipstickgirl]

DD will be heading to university in September and DS (15) has decided in his own mind that he's getting her room when she leaves.

He spends a huge amount of time in his room and DD does have a bigger room so I get that he wants the bigger space.

However it's DDs room and she will obviously be returning for holidays etc.

What have others done in this scenario?

Thankfully younger dd was more than happy to stay in her room although every now and again she likes to sleep in there.

If one moves on then its only right they give up the bigger room, especially if they're only coming back part time.

Why is it always the boys who get shafted when room allocating?

Give him the room (if u don't want it). She can stay in his room when she comes home in the holidays. Provided all her stuff fits in it. It just makes more sense to let someone who is actually living there have use of the bigger room.

I don't think it ever occurred to mine to want different rooms. They are back for about 4 months of the year anyway. When they leave home properly that's another matter.

Why is it always the boys who get shafted when room allocating

Im not sure it is

If ask her if she’d be happy with that .

Dd is 14, ds 5. When she gets to 18 they swap rooms. Mainly because ds needs more space for sleepovers etc.

furry

I agree

Ds1 is moving in with his boyfriend for the last year of uni, on that basis we have offered the room to his siblings (who dont seem to want it) we've also told him that we will be changing a bit of the furniture around

We wouldn't have done this unless he was, in effect, moving out

I think it's generally the youngest who gets shafted, not boys as such. Speaking as a bitter youngest child who never got the big room .

Ask your dd what she thinks. Seems daft to have the larger room standing empty for more than half of the year.

margot

I agree

Our eldest has the largest bedroom of the four children. The youngest has always had the smallest bedroom.

We are letting the eldest keep his bedroom at home during his first year at university. When you take into account reading weeks and the extremely short summer term, he is actually at home for more weeks of the year than he is at university.

From next September, the eldest will have a 51 week accommodation contract at university, and we will ask him to swap bedrooms with the youngest. The youngest will then have the largest bedroom for at least 3 years.

I would feel as though I had been moved out for good if you let my brother move into my room as soon as I’d gone to uni. If I were you I’d wait until she returns and moves out for good.

Why is it always the boys who get shafted when room allocating?

I've never heard of this. Our rooms were allocated more on age order, although Ds (middle child) has probably got the biggest room really.

I gave up my room to younger sister when I left for uni - I never returned to parents' home in the end, so it was probably for the best!

She is away 38 weeks of the year and I’m assuming she may also have the odd break away when in the 14 weeks she has off?
I’d let him have the room

Although I probably kept it for the first year or so, now I think about it....

When i moved out to Uni, younger brother moved into my larger bedroom. It was about twice the size of the boxroom, so only fair because i only came home at Christmas / Easter. For the first summer, i stayed in my uni town and worked, and the following two straddled a placement year so i was living and working away too.

Thank you so much for all your responses.

Original bedroom allocation was definitely done on age - first come, first served and nothing to do with gender.

Really interesting reading your own experiences. As an only child I had my room and that was that so this is all new to me!

I'll talk with DD and see if we can strike a compromise in some way.

I think we left things as is for the first year then when ds started gcse s we asked them to swap so he could work in a bigger room. We did redecorate the smaller room though so it felt like her room not a random spare room or reject boys room 😀

Oldest of 3 here. When I left dc2 got my room, I went into box room, dc3 went in to dc2's room.

We've just had this crop up here too. Dd (15) will be getting ds1(17)'s room when he leaves as his room is much bigger and he will be here 11 weeks a year max.

Why is it always the boys who get shafted when room allocating?

My kids swap every 2 years but ds1(17) will stay in his current room for 3 years because he's off to uni. Ds2 (12)'s room is the same as DD's room and he's cba to move his stuff into DD's room so he'll stay in his room while the older 2 swap. When dd goes to uni then ds2 will get her room and she will get ds2's room assuming that ds1 is cba to switch with ds2.

Before I went to uni I had a big room with an ensuite. My mum told me that as soon as I'd settled in and knew I was happy there my sister would be moving into mine and I'd move all my stuff into hers.
At Christmas she asked me if I was staying at uni, I said I was so we swapped and I was fine. I still had a room so wasn't bothered which one it was

When I went to uni I kept my room at home for the first year. When I went back for second year my parents decorated both the big room and box room. My brother moved into my room and when I came home the box room was mine.
I think dB was eager to have the room ASAP but my parents said I needed to keep it for the first year, just incase I didn’t settle.

My eldest got the smallest room when I got pregnant with ds3 it was that or she shared with one of her brothers so now she is st uni we don't need to swap rooms I mean it makes sense right? The oldest needs less space? No toys to speak of etc etc 🤷‍♀️