Coleoptera, as a fellow mother of an Aspie, I totally get what you mean about your DS’s fixation. I know this won’t help him right now but my DS, three years down the line, freely admits that actually he is much better off at the London university he now attends. My DD has just had an offer from Oxford but someone who is already there is not happy, despite it having been her life’s dream, and told me before the offer came through that it might actually be better if my DD went somewhere else. Obviously I’m delighted about her offer but this really gave me pause for thought. None of this will take away the sting for your DS right now. In my experience, though, Aspies take a long time to process things and have to work it out for themselves, but after they’ve gone through that process they are actually extremely strong.
Another extract from the Student Room’s Oxford thread:
‘For all those who have been rejected, here’s a Chinese proverb. There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"
Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck?
Who knows?’
I’m getting ever so slightly hooked on the Student Room!