Oxbridge Applications 2019 (Part Three)

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Today is a big day for many... time for a new thread too

Congrats WorriedMutha - your waiting is over!! Well done!

Gosh that's early! Well done your daughter.

WorriedMutha - what is that you are worried about/have misgivings about? I am sure there are plenty on here who may be able to put any fears to bed.

I'm waiting for English too was going to ask what time they normally write but see someone has already heard back... Gulp!

It varies by college and potentially by subject within each college too apparently.

A big hug Cleopatra. Would not want to be in your shoes today . You can do well everywhere, but that’s not the point now.
Right now this sounds like a big worry for you.let us know tonight how things are ok ?

I'm so sorry to hear about DT2 Coleoptera. How worrying. Does he have any other offers he could focus on? Maybe you could plan a trip to another university to get him excited about an alternative.

No news here. ds doesn't seem phased by today, largely helped by his other offers. Thank heavens.

Thank you for the Interesting history of female colleges Errol. It all makes sense now.

Does the school know how badly your poor DT2 is struggling with this, Coleoptera? Even if they don't have a 'formal structure' it surely can't be unprecedented for them, given the high numbers they have applying, I'd have thought there would be some experienced teachers who could help.

Good luck to all the DC and I really feel for you Coleoptera. You must feel like you are between a rock and a hard place.

Really feeling for you Coleoptera - best of luck for whatever today brings.

Thinking of you today, coleoptera, and wishing the best for both your twins. For others disappointed today, I can say that thankfully it all seems like it is receding rapidly in the rear view mirror and Ds is able to focus on trying to choose from the four remaining offers and booking offer days. I am very grateful he is coping so well. Good luck to all xx

Ds just had the email from the college. No offer for him unfortunately. He is not that upset, and quite glad he doesn't have to do STEP! I will move over to the other Uni thread now so congrats to those who have offers and commiseration to those who hear in the negative today.

Not having to do STEP must be something of a relief, especially with the issues he has with his teacher, wiifi.

Sorry to hear that Wiifitmama..., but as you say, with the disappointment comes a sense of relief too.

Good heavens, Coleoptera, what a difficult situation. I agree that schools should manage expectations and results in a more compassionate - and realistic - way. The Oxbridge journey is intense and brutal and some do not come out of it in a good place. Over the years I've seen on MN parents getting not just excited, but manic about the whole thing, and certainly doing a lot of chicken counting. All this telling all and sundry... what a mistake. No wonder people feel embarrassed and a failure if they don't get in.

Btw, Coleoptera, my ds had two gos. The first time he was clearly too young, shy, nervous, unprepared and he readily admitted he didn't deserve to get in. Next time he went in all guns blazing. Nevertheless, I barely mentioned the C word and just waxed lyrical about Durham and I even bought him a Thick Coat in the sales.

DS has an offer! He got pooled and has been offered a place at Churchill College. We have never had anyone go to Oxbridge in our family so we are trying to take in the enormity of his achievement. Now to get the grades!!!

Brilliant news Jano69

Congratulations! Which subject is it?

It's a no, sadly, for us .....

Oh I’m sorryBaytree. Gosh it’s so stressful!

Coleoptera

I know its an awful situation to be in and it will obviously need to be handled sensitively but if DT1 does get a place you must try not to hold him back because of DT2's situation. If you do he may end up resenting you or his brother.

I know it will need to be downplayed but perhaps there is a way to speak to him separately if he gets a place and express your support but explain why you are downplaying etc because you are worried about DT2. I am sure he will get that. I am also sure that none of the views that you are expressing in the comfort and privacy of this thread are being said out loud in real life.

I feel for you and the situation but remember they are separate people ( I am certain as the mum of twins you are more aware of that than anyone and I really don't mean to be condescending or patronising in any way) and DT1 will need support whether he does not receive an offer or if in fact he does.

I am still a bit resentful of my sister who always got lower grades than me being lavished with praise for what she got and mine were always downplayed although now I am older I understand the reasoning was to spare her feelings but I never felt I was praised for what I had achieved and it has affected our relationship.

Maybe as the pressure is off DT2 could look for a job that will give him work over the summer too with a view to giving up in year 13 to concentrate on exams?

As neither DT visited any unis they applied to, perhaps the next step would be offer holders day. They've looked online and decided they hate the look of the places, not even having been. But they selected every uni simply based on league tables and employability for their subjects.

Yes, I'd have thought this would be a good idea. Offer holder days are better than open days for getting to meet the people, see the departments etc, and they will be in 'recruitment' mode wanting their offer holders to firm them. Where else have they applied to?

Incidentally, my take on these 'Oxbridge' threads is that one of their functions absolutely is to try to support those who are dealing with disappointment, be it now or at results time - its a hard subject to discuss IRL.