Oxbridge Freshers 2018

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

old thread

A chat/support thread for parents of undergrads who have entered the quite frankly slightly odd world of Oxbridge.

Apparently we are parents to undergrads now

Thank sunndowne.

She say room ballots haven't started in her college yet. Have advised she speaks to tutor. Think she does need somewhere quiet with ensuite facilities. The thought of her in a student house makes me shudder.

Her tutor can talk to accommodation.

Thanks oybbk. Will get her to tee it up be assertive
Home at the w/e. Wheeeeeee!

DS has got a flat share in a really nice place with a group of friends which has worked out well. The room ballot was pretty stressful, not really helped by college telling them originally that they were unlikely to lose their rooms. There was a bit of unpleasantness when some groups realised that they might not all end up together and it needed some older students to step in. I think second year accommodation is the tricky year as first and third years are rightly given preference. DS will be very near the top of the ballot for next year so already knows he will get a nice shiny new room! Hope it works out for all the DC’s who have yet to choose.

Picked DS up this morning, got back home less than 6 hours after we left! Load 1 of 2 currently in the washing machine.

Feeling pretty sorry for him at the moment, he was excluded from a group ballot for rooms, as there were 7 of them who had talked about ballotting together, and rather than splitting as a 3 and a 4 (6 being the largest group possible), he was left out. They have their rooms sorted, and he has to wait until after Easter. A lot of his social life this year has revolved around having a cuppa with his staircase mates to break up studying, or watching a film in the evenings with a beer, or playing games, all very off the cuff and go with the flow. He is disappointed that he won't be living near them next year, for such impromptu meetings. He has also admitted he was a bit depressed at Christmas, and intends to be more proactive this holiday. He is off to his old school this week to talk about Oxbridge and stem. Hope that will cheer him up a bit. :(

That's really harsh of his friends Panda. I can imagine that would be upsetting. I think they do come back rather glum and exhausted anyway. It must be very hard to keep switching from one, very intense life back to home life and vice versa.

Yes, I agree, it must be so hard to keep switching backwards and forwards. The tiger mother in me wants to poke his friends' eyes out frankly, but I think it was thoughtlessness rather than malice on their part.

He has plans to go to London to watch the boat race, staying over with a friend, so he will see quite a number of university friends this holiday. I think us being in the frozen north, and the vast majority of his university friends being London and home counties doesn't help.

Have any of your dc commented in the disparity in university holidays? DS could go back on Palm Sunday, must be back by Easter Monday at the very latest, but done of his friends at other universities don't break up for Easter until Maundy Thursday. He will not be at home for much if the same time at all as the majority of his non-Oxbridge friends.

He'll probably pick up additional friends next year, panda.

My DD mentioned that some other universities seem to have short Easter holidays.
But she pointed out Oxbridge doesn't give them a 'holiday', it's vacation ... I'd expect most of them will be working quite hard! (She's only planning to come home for a few days actual holiday away from revision.)

Panda that's tough. My DD missed a flat because they did split to accommodate a left out girl. DD says college became fraught for a few weeks with people trying to group. Hopefully he'll meet even nicer people next year. I have those tiger mum tendencies I have to kerb. am with you on that one.

*curb even.

There is very little overlap in holidays! Think dd will go back Easter Monday.
They also seem to finish later than many universities?

Thanks for empathy, I'm sure he will make more friends, and will keep his current mates too, but it will take a while for him to stop feeling let down. Sorry to hear others have had group ballot woes too.

Yes, everywhere else does seem to finish a lot sooner too - I think that is because other universities seem to operate on the two 12 week semester model - still 24 teaching weeks same as Cambridge (and Oxford?), but more squashed together - 2 weeks of no lectures at Easter, and then maybe one week of lectures, followed by 2/3 weeks of exams, then finished early-mid May. DS's exams finish around the 12 June, then he will stay up for May week and probably come home at the end of the third week in June, well over a month after other friends.

That's very late. DD's course had exams at very end last year but it's later than I thought. I'll have to ask her. DD Has friend from home down with her and we collect her and friend and bring the home tonight. She's at Warwick and they've just finished I think.

DD is home. Happy but exhausted. Had a chat but wants to rest alone!!!
Ahhh. Dying to be with her chatting all the time! Clingy mum not attractive
Hope yours are home safe and sound.

We moved dd to new room yesterday (v tiring) and it's v self contained and quiet but paradoxically better placed to make friends with a huge kitchen shared by 4. Let's hope she's happier.

She says she reached the end of her rope and the more I hear about set mate the more my jaw drops. She didn't tell her because didn't want an awkward conversation and got a wtf text on the way home. It does sound increasingly as though she is completely out of control.

DD's tutor has told her to rest for at least a few weeks as her work is high quality and she will not fail. Ballots haven't started at dd's college yet and evidently have something to do with grades. Had a lovely chat to the porter yesterday though while waiting for dd and dh to bring down the final bags and he suggested involving the tutor re next year's room allocation as she has had such a rum time this year.

I'd definitely suggest your dd takes up the porters advice. Thank goodness she has a much better room now.

dd comes home tonight. I can't wait to see her.

DD had a nervous wait but after many summer internship rejections, she finally achieved a positive result and is off to a far flung (is it too un-PC to say exotic) place with a team of Oxbridge students and she will be paid to do it. Glad she has learnt persistence paid off.

Nervous wait as friend in dfferent group heard a day before!

She's home and sleeping lots. I was poorly yesterday so just started on the washing!

Good luck to DD Ohtheroses. it's quite sad one family have an out of control DD coming home - want our children to be safe! Enjoy DD home Kitten! Encourage DS to be open to all the lovely people in his college Panda, there will be lots of nice people about! My DD had to extracate herself from a volatile student at end of first term who she'd teamed up with and now has a very supportive bunch.

That's brilliant. Well done to your dd Sunndowne :)

Panda No wonder DS is feeling rotten but good advice from Sunndowne and it may well turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Congratulations to your DD Sunndowne. Fantastic news!
DD secured college funding to travel to a remote destination this summer. It is relevant to her degree but sadly without pay!
I haven't finished the laundry yet but DD has already departed for a few days hiking.

Well done to your DD Sunndowne, must be such a relief to get a summer placement. DS was interviewed for his before Christmas, so he hasn't had to think about it this term. Funding to travel sounds great too ofteninaspin. Again, thanks for the supportive comments, DS was out playing games with friends at Oxbridge yesterday afternoon, and seems to have cheered up. I'm hoping he will widen his friendships even further next term and build a bit more resilience.

Can I have a proud mum moment? DS has just left to go to his old school, to give a talk on Oxbridge and engineering. He has just run through it with me to practise, and it has given me a chance to really have a window into how much he loves what he is doing. He sounded so knowledgeable, and so enthusiastic and committed, and the supervision structure suits him really well. I'm so pleased for him!

Ah Panda that's brilliant, quite right you should be proud!
So pleased to hear about your DD's new room too Roses, that must be such an enormous relief.
DD was home briefly but is now off travelling for a couple of weeks. Can't wait to get her home properly. She had to pay for a doctors visit last night as she felt so poorly (we thought just end of term run down) and turns out she has an ear infection and tonsillitis, so she's missing a couple of the planned activities to rest and let the antibiotics kick in.
We'll Never stop worrying will we?!

Panda that's lovely. You must be so proud of the young man he has grown into.

I hope the antibiotics kick in soon Lobster. How rotten for your dd.

dds persistence paid off too, after a number of rejections, she's got a summer internship.

That's fabulous news Panda and Kitten. it's so nice our DC make progress in such a daunting/awe inspiring place! We all feel so proud, don't we!!
Sorry, I would have sent my warm congratulations sooner but I've been out of the loop being really ill with a nasty bug - unusual for me. Hope Lobster's DD is also on the mend.

My DD is off on a course abroad next week paid by her college - all by herself! She will be with other unnkown albeit students when she gets there. Have to let go! aghhh! not so easy. Am sure though, it should be great for her.

Sorry, I would have sen tmy warm congratul;ations sooner bu tI've been out of th eloop being really ill with a nasty bug - unusual for me. Hope Lobster's DD is also on the mend.

ahhh. Clearly still befuddled with bug! Sorry for repetition.

Thanks for affirmation! Well done to your DD for internship Kitten, that must be such a relief! :)