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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

A Level Results Day

479 replies

3catsandadog · 30/07/2018 09:50

Hi If UCAS does not update first thing before the school opens for result is it a bad sign that the offer has been missed.
Good luck to everyone awaiting results :)

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 18:17

glad he's sorted

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 18:20

they used to print the actual students' A level results in our local paper!

still do, in many places! public exams can be made public

Xenia · 17/08/2018 19:57

I have deliberately not asked people whose children are waiting for results who I know through work (and still don't know how they did) as it is up to them if they choose to tell me (although I would be interested to know but it's none of my business).

extinctspecies · 17/08/2018 20:05

Xenia I'm not sure whether to ask my friends directly or not too!
I wonder if it looks rude if I don't ask?
The worst thing is people posting their kids' results on FB though.
"So pleased that darling xxxxx has got her place at yyyy University with amazing A-Level grades". Oh, do FO pls. I have defriended for less.

zzzzz · 17/08/2018 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/08/2018 22:00

One of the biggest events in their dcs lives so far and they can't post about it? If you can't say that on fb book what on earth can you say?

Fifthtimelucky · 17/08/2018 22:25

I confess to having posted on FB. Not the grades, just that my daughter was really pleased to have her place at Exeter confirmed.

Lots of people had asked me to let them know, and it seemed the easiest way. The comments I've had suggest that people were glad to know and are very pleased for her.

Friends/family not on FB who wanted to know have had individual phone calls or texts.

elena7475 · 17/08/2018 22:37

Reality is it is always mix emotions about results. It is hard when friends compare their kids. It is always some kind of competition between parents. There are a lot 'I wish...' and how. Best things to do to wait when emotions are settled down and all suitcases packed. I think, by October you can ask where or what children do. But best never ask parents about A levels results itself.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/08/2018 22:39

I'd never ask about grades or post about grades, it reminds me too much of people comparing book bands in infants.

MrSlant · 17/08/2018 23:04

I totally agree OYBBK (not the first time I've typed that Grin), I am so happy for DS1, he got into his uni of choice and for him his not stellar grades are amazing and have given him the opportunity to do exactly what he wants. After being pressed by a few family members I've told them that I'm really proud and don't want to give out his actual grades as they are his and only his to disclose if he wants to. He has a slightly younger brother who should end up with a good number of the 'boasty' grades at GCSE next week and I would HATE for people to compare them as they would have both done brilliantly for them. I hated those book band days too!

MoorMummy · 17/08/2018 23:08

I never posted grades for gcse or a level, we had friends who plastered it all over Facebook but were Also haranguing us for DS grade details before we even left for school to pick them up. Most annoying.

prettybird · 17/08/2018 23:43

I've not posted ds' actual results on facebook. Just said that for the benefit of more distant friends and family that ds is off to Aberdeen Uni to do PIR. having been offered an unconditional back in March but that I was proud he'd continued to work and been rewarded with good results.

And I didn't tag him Wink

Thesearepearls · 18/08/2018 00:07

Yes I haven't posted grades on FB. I just said that DS got the grades he needed to go to where he wanted to go

Unlike SIL who plastered all over her FB that her nephew (my DS) got 4A* at A level. I wouldn't mind except that SIL has stated on numerous occasions that she doesn't want a black man in her pure white family. Except of course when it comes to her mixed race DNephew doing something good.

prettybird · 18/08/2018 00:14

Even flubbalubba all those Blush years ago when I got my own results (before t'internet and social media), I learnt to say of my own results that "I was pleased with what I got" without getting into specifics.

LoniceraJaponica · 18/08/2018 00:28

I just posted that DD's hard work had paid off. I didn't post her grades though.

swingofthings · 18/08/2018 07:01

I have defriended for less
I wondered whether to post my DD results on FB just because of this. In the end, I did because I have friends all over the globe who consider this the type of news they want to read rather than all the rubbish posted on FB.

I did consider friends whose children might not have done so well. I considered how I would feel if my DD hadn't got the grades/place at Uni. It could have easily happened. It wouldn't have meant she was as worthy, just that fate had decided differently and that would have been ok. It wouldn't have stopped me being happy for my friends.

Personally, I don't understand why you would chose to go on FB if reading the success of others is going to make you feel so upset you would consider defriending friends. Sometimes it's better to wait until the disappointment has turned into optimism taking a different path.

There is a massive element of luck that comes into those who got what they wanted and those who didn't. It's no-one's fault. Today, others might be celebrating, but tomorrow, they might be the ones congratulating others and getting over their own disappointments. It's how it is. It is ok to feel jealous, envious, upset, but it isn't fair to push people away for it.

swingofthings · 18/08/2018 07:03

Lonicera, glad to read your DD has done well. What is she planning on doing next year?

LoniceraJaponica · 18/08/2018 07:31

Gap year. She really wasn't sure about the course she has an offer on, and didn't want to go through clearing/adjustment and rush into something else. She has gone back to plan A of biomedical science snd we will do the rounds of open days again.

With the grades she achieved it should be easier this time.

notgivingin789 · 18/08/2018 09:34

swing

Very true.

Quietvoiceplease · 18/08/2018 09:53

I'm late to the party here, and my DCs are too young to have yet put me through their A'Level trauma. However, like others, I want to say that not getting the grades you need is really not the end of the road. In fact, it might just be the best thing that happens.
I regularly give careers talks in schools and the thing I always say is that my enforced gap year was the single best thing that happened. Not that I saw it that way - terrible results and 'everyone else' (as it felt) starting their new lives at university. I spent that gap year resitting two of my A'Levels, got a job, and grew up. I chose a degree course I wanted to do. I found out about working life. I earned some money. I realised that I couldn't bank on being able to wing exams in the lazy way I had my GCSEs. It honestly gave me a chance to learn and grow up in the ways I needed to before starting university.
I know that bad results are really upsetting, but it is absolutely not the end of the world.

BagelGoesWalking · 18/08/2018 11:01

I didn't post on my own FB feed at all. Close friends and family were told in person or by text. DD didn't want me to and I have never liked that competitive parent type post on Fb anyway. I know it's not necessarily boasting but just to let friends and family know but still ...

I posted in one private group I belong to as we talk about many off topic subjects. Even then, I said she'd got her 1st choice uni but not specific grades.

extinctspecies · 18/08/2018 11:09

I don't understand why you would chose to go on FB if reading the success of others is going to make you feel so upset you would consider defriending friends.

It is absolutely NOT this. It is that it often comes across as boasting. I am exaggerating about de-friending, but I have stopped following 2 different people who posted pics of the brand new cars they'd given their kids as 18th birthday presents.

Fine to say XXX is off to YYYY Uni but don't put the grades. And don't say ow brilliant they are.

swingofthings · 18/08/2018 12:18

Boasting is a matter of definition. Are you automatically boasting each time you share a moment of pride? I don't think so. I personally am as comfortable sharing what my kids do well as what they don't. My DD GCSEs results were disappointing and unexpected but it didn't stop me congratulating anyone who did very well without considering they were boasting for posting their good news. Happiness and pride is not an exclusive feeling we all experience it at different times for different reasons.

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 18/08/2018 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twistella · 18/08/2018 12:37

A medal in swimming is insignificant compared to 3x A*s and an oxbridge place.

Sport is inclusive, education isn't. I have people in my time line with dcs with serious SEN and sometimes those kids join in with inclusive sport and get medals. It's fab for them. Academic education doesn't work like that.