Oxbridge applicants 2018 part 3

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Looks like we need a new thread.

riverbank23 that might be a good reason to do the parents' tea as we are all in it together.

tstgug yes I do recognise your description to some extent but with my DS it is nerves I think and his obsession with the dogs. The workload is something that would concern most students but they rise to the occasion I believe. I am very conscious of his mental health and will be keeping a close eye.

Is there somewhere he would prefer to go?

Tstgug - I think maybe, when someone has worked towards a 'dream', the reality may almost seem a bit of an anticlimax?
Yes, most courses there might be more workload than at most other unis but it's not supposed to be excessive - and they have the support of college and the supervision/tutorial system.

Riverbank- your DD will almost certainly find there's many others like her - they're not all into clubbing, and being into their subject is why most of them are there!

I think he's the sort that the grass is always greener, as I remind him; he decided to firm the offer.

I think what is worse is that at the moment he is seeing his friend at universities in London/name a city go to lots of parties in freshers. I think that he feels it'll all be work and no play.

Absolutely, it's like looking forward to christmas for too long. It can end up being anti-climatic.

There will always be extremes at either end, but my impression from DD is that most of them manage a good balance of work and play. Freshers is short this year at Cambridge (not sure about oxford) but you may find that they want to stay on a bit after the end of full term to let their hair down a bit then, with people who are by then friends not new acquaintances.

DD and I were discussing something similar earlier.
We decided it's a little bit like when people spend years planning a wedding, focusing everything on that one day and not really considering the marriage part - for so long Results day and getting in was the end goal (like a wedding day) that afterwards it all felt a bit anti climatic and scary to think of the future suddenly - But DD says now she's there it feels like she's cracking on with things and living again (like the marriage!)
Sorry, I haven't explained that very well - it made perfect sense when DD said it!

My experience was , 10 mins allotted parking to unload outside a central (Oxford) College ( i.e. parking generally rubbish)

Lots and lots of student helpers to unload car - it was done like an F1 pitstop - really impressive

Saw Ds into room - various stuff and then 10 mins later I was no longer required and gently encouraged to leave the premises by he and college parents. Went home then .

Basilisk going up with dd Thurs. Hotel that night. Moves in Fri am. DH coming up Fri lunchtime. Wants to see where she is. Back to hotel. On hand in case she needs us until Sat afternoon. Staying somewhere lux sat night (30 miles outside). Will make sure she doesn't need anything before coming home.

I think the late start at Oxford adds to it all too; DS has seen all his friends go and his girlfriend and they are all settling in. We are left in limbo waiting for Monday to come, he’s been at a bit of a loose end because he is the only one left! He is also worried about the workload but that’s usual for him and isn’t because he needs to worry. I can’t go on Monday so am feeling a bit gutted, I really wanted to make his bed for him (daft, I know!). I wish it was a weekend drop off really.

Did anybody get more than 10 minutes in room before being encouraged to go?. Does not sound very long to unpack and take things away.

Yes me Hubble. It is true though that all students in all colleges get a first meeting around 5pm and that definitely is the signal to go. The Turl St colleges and Queen's Lane and Oriel Sq/ Merton St ones need to do a quick turn around but even with those there's absolutely nothing to stop any parent parking elsewhere and returning to the DC's room. With DD2 I overstayed a little and for some reason all the other freshers in rooms nearby had congregated in a line outside her room so she suggested two options: either I jump from the window to save embarrassment at still having mummy there, or alternatively (more civilised), I could hide in the cupboard (the obvious risk being that the assembled freshers would decide to come into her room and open the cupboard). My advice is to aim for a 5pm departure at latest.

OhtheRoses That sounds very nice. We are near enough that a relatively early start meant getting there in time. The luxury Saturday night sounds particularly lovely

Hubbleisback - It felt like 10 mins - in truth it could have been a bit longer. I think DH may have gone to move the car so must have been more than 10 mins. Enough time to help him make his bed up , hang up anything which needed hanging. Shove folding stuff into drawers / under bed wheely things and get collapsible laundry bin unfolded ( so as to encourage use ) , bung books on shelves in no particular order. Nothing he could not have done himself but just quicker & meant he could come back to the room in reasonable order. So 10 mins may be too little , but certainly it felt like a pretty quick turnaround. His college parents came to the room and certainly ( not a bad way ) it felt time to leave as they obviously had plans for some of new arrivals.

Certainly in our experience there were plenty of student helpers for carrying etc.

It is manic but it also helps overcome early homesickness. And life at Oxbridge is often a bit manic. (Never mind that my college has a tiny car park for drop offs, so its a real achievement to get everyone unloaded in one day.) I got nostalgic seeing the tolleys ready for unloading Freshers last weekend.
I hope your DC have a great time and settle in well!

I'm going to have to spend a bit longer with dd I think just because we are leaving half her supplies behind, so I'm taking her food shopping when we get there to replace the nice bits I'd bought for her. Obviously I could just give her the cash to buy it, but we've had a rough time recently, so I'm trying to make it as nice as possible.
If she decides she'd rather not have me around and shoos me out, that's ok too but not before I've drunk my tea and eaten my cake and done the gown purchasing.

Aah OhYouBadKitten

I must amend my post - Ds already had bought his gown etc . So turnaround did not include that. That was just included in "hanging up "
I sent other stuff c/o porter's lodge - e.g. v cheap mini fridge ( Tesco £70 ish - good value for 3 years and then re- offered and recycled. Not a trendy one , but kept milk, cold drinks etc cold - v small )

It's vry normal and natural to be a bt apprehensive and yes, the workload is tough.

But if it helps any ds2 (going into 2nd year) is very excited heading back today and ds1 is very enthusiastic and bubbly about his course.

We never did parents tea type stuff: doesn't appeal and I think is mainly aimed as an excuse for students to separate from clingy parents :D They won't start to meet people and make friends until you have departed and left them to it, so the sooner the better imo. If you are committed to being in town for a while, why not leave them to it, go shopping/cafe-ing for a while, then check in on them bit later before you depart?

I was mainly hoping to get some nice cakes roisin at the parents tea before our 4 hour drive home. I wasn't expecting DD to be there with us, in fact I would hope she's with her college siblings/ parents.

I've got a four hour journey on the way back too thanks to sodding engineering works.

Any recommendations where I can get nice cake from in Cambridge if I can't source it from the college? I'm going to need it to sustain me.

OYBBK I am so sorry that you are having a stressful time getting your DD to Cambridge, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing her college. Enjoy your parents' tea - you so deserve it.

Goodbye thank you for the funny story.

Goodbye x post but

Yours a better story about quick turnaround

Thank you Hubble.

Goodbye, I'll eye up dds wardrobe just in case....

Fitzwilliams do nice cakes, but that's down past King's.
There is a creperie on the corner near the Round Church, which I love.
4 hour train journey is pretty hideous: is there no alternative route?

Fitzbillies I mean: www.fitzbillies.com/