Do parents attend uni open days?

[ifonly4]

DD is quite capable (or at least she should be as she'll have to deal with everything herself away from home) of registration for events during the day, asking questions and help, but I'd like to be there and feel it's useful as I know what they've said to her. Is it usual for parents to attend open days?

Bubbles
Not everyone who goes to university has parent's who can afford private boarding school fees for 2 DC. Like BuggerOff's my son knows we are cash strapped, due to unseen family difficulties, even knows he only has minimum grant and will need a part time job, so left to him, he would have chosen the cheapest accommodation possible, and struggled with choosing where to live, with us doing the talk, we decided, what was in our budget and gave him 10 times more options, though he chose his own 6 options and his own order.

His choice of firm, it's now unconditional, was his and only his. His mum and I thought differently, and he chose neither of our favoured choices. It's his degree and his alone, we just provide a sounding board if require
He was 17 when choosing his options and firming, he couldn't vote, but the government and others expect him to be able to sign up to around a minimum of £42000 debt, when I did agricultural college I left with debts of £450 overdraft, too much alcohol.

I don’t really see why my ability to pay for school alters the way DDs went about choosing a university! For what it’s worth, DD 1 shared a room, there was one bathroom beteen 6 and it was the cheapest Hall. Her choice. State school pupils thought this accommodation wasn’t for them apparently!

User: you are lucky your DS is on a course where he has time to work. If he was doing medicine or vet or many science courses he may well struggle to self fund and do the required university work. If he is doing any of these courses, I would try and reassess your financial assistance.

As DD1 is an August birthday, I can see that many young people make decisions earlier than others but she had friends, guidance and help to come to the decisions she made. She has been wise enough to listen to others since leaving university too. Sometimes students don’t know the difference between courses and universities and believe they are all the same. When it comes to getting a job, it become obvious that advice was needed.

Let me just say that over 20 years of doing Open Days and Applicant Visit Days (they have quite different purposes in my discipline as we interview) I have seen a significant increase in "that parent" type behaviour.

At Open Days, staffing my Department's stall, I try to talk directly with potential applicants, and pretty much every parent just cannot seem to stop him/herself butting in. I try to acknowledge their comments and go back to speaking directly with the possible applicant. I can understand shyness, but sometimes I think that with any young person, the presence of a parent (and sometimes both, plus siblings and grandparents, kid you not) changes the way they interact with me.

And then the examples of out & out rudeness I listed earlier. I'm a senior experienced professor - I still volunteer to do Open Days. I do not like being treated as though I'm a snake oil merchant.

I rarely say anything about my title and rank and experience as I just want to be accessible & open and not intimidate potential applicants. It's interesting how when my rank/job (eg HoD or former Dean) is mentioned I get a very different response from parents (mostly fathers, I have to say, but some mothers).

As I say, I feel sorry for the colleagues of some of the parents I encounter.

If you do accompany your DC - and I can see why you'd want to - when they're talking to staff, step back. Even if you know that they're not asking the questions they need to, don't butt in. If necessary go away to a quiet corner, coach your DC to ask the extra questions, and then send your DC back to talk to us again. We don't mind - we want to talk to intending applicants, to answer question. We want applicants who think they'd be a good fit for our programmes. At an Open Day, we're usually there 9:30-16:30. Lots of opportunities to come & chat as many times as the DC needs to. But the applicants, not their parents.

When we took DC to open days, it was often very hard to get anywhere for 9.30 am. We were travelling a significant distance and even if I hadn’t driven, getting a train to anywhere for 9.30 am is peak time with expense to match.

As a senior professor, TheRagingGirl, I wonder if it possible to structure the day so it starts a bit later? Could it end later? There are good reasons why this cold be helpful to students and especially poorer students who have to be cost conscious.

We had to wait nearly an hour for a shuttle bus at one university (park and ride to campus) and DD missed a 10 am slot she had booked for subject information. That was no fault of hers but clearly the transport system provided couldn’t cope. She then struggled to get into the next session due to huge numbers of parents having to be ejected. No doubt they were in the shuttle bus queue too!

The peak time trains are expensive, even if you book in advance. This makes it expensive for poorer students. Late morning and evening are cheaper times to travel. Have universities considered this aspect of open days?

In my experience most open days in any case don't start until 12 or so.

(I think TheRagingGirl may well be in London, where it is understandable that Open Days start in mornings - many applicants will be travelling there from within London. But places that involve a train ride do put them to start later, usually.)

When I applied to university in 1998, I was in the minority for going to open days without my parents, who said in their day it was unthinkable for the parents to go too.

When I was a student, I was a steward (issued with a brightly coloured printed T-shirt and baseball cap) showing people round on open days - the parents were in every group I showed round; sometimes even the whole family, I'd have to ask who the student was. And it was always the parents who asked the questions, even when I tried to talk to the student.

We didn’t go to any that started at 12! Chose the wrong ones!

pretty much every parent just cannot seem to stop him/herself butting in

One way to avoid that is to split up from your DC, at least for some of the time. Trot off to case out the rest of the campus or grill the accommodation staff etc and regroup for lunch.

Raging
Like Errol said why don't you organise your applicant days differently.
Ds attended 2 at Hull and Lincoln, they where his top 2 choices,
Hull went on his own, only 6 miles away, just did lunch and taster sessions in afternoon, it was students and parents, all in lunch and taster lectures, parents dominated it. He did get to speak to one student and a lecturer at end of the 3 hour session. WASTE OF TIME
Lincoln we all went, needed lift, mum never been to the uni, It was completely different experience , we had a parents timetable, he had a degree specific timetable, we didn't see him from 1015 until 1315.
He loved it, got to see fellow students, worked in teams of 6, 8 and 25. Met 4 lecturers, knows module options and overseas study options backwards. Still telling us details a week later. We learnt about accommodation/ top tips etc.
He choose Lincoln.
So maybe organising your days differently might help. Please note I am no professor or lecturer, just a dad relating his son's experience, please don't take offensive.

There are open days and there are post offer visit days. They are not the same. Open days are more quick paced and talks/tours are repeating during the day. I believe Raging was talking about open days.

Visit days are different, And in them you can run separate programmes for parents and students which is better for both groups. We often got parents sitting out on visit days not wanting to participate as they have already been to an open day. They are not the same. Join if you can, it is the opportunity to see the department at work, which is not possible to see during an open day as they often take place in the weekends or at the time the students, staff and most academics are not around.

I went to Hull with son and didn't attend anything with him, but did my own separate tour of facilities. He went alone to taster lectures and talks and lunch. Perhaps that was just with his faculty (humanities) He loved it.

Although we went with our daughter we looked but didn't speak. She was perfectly capable of asking all the questions she needed to without us interfering but would not have been able to get to any of her choices without us driving her (or expensive train journeys and overnight hotel stays).

Accompanying parent doesn't automatically mean interfering parent!

Hull and Lincoln are recruiting universitis and not RG. They have to work a bit harder than some universitites to get students. They also, probably, have less affluent students and know their market regarding start times and what the students and parents want to see. However, any student who just travels 6 milles to university presumably knows a lot about the city and life there already.

As a parent, I am not sure what I could have gained from looking at facilities. I was more concerned about the quality and reputation of university in the first place. Once the shortlist was made, the rest of it was down to DDs.

Bubbles
It was mine child who travelled less than 6 miles to visit Hull, he and mum did open day, and offers day he just went in afternoon to the degree taster sessions. Open day they just look around uni facilities and accommodation, he wanted to live on campus to experience life as a student.
Back to open days, on both I did with him, apart from ordering our free welcome drink and snack, and speaking to a couple of other parents, I never spoke. Apart from when he started a conservation with me.
We sat in three different lectures, with up to 120 in them and not one parent spoke, only the young person.

Sorry I just thought, all of his choices where Bubbles non RG recruiting universities, main ones Hull, Lincoln and CUScarborugh, and not one parent lead any conversation we saw, all the kids booked themselves in etc.
Of the sample of students and parents, he met on both open and offers day and I had the honour to speak too, all where less affluent (just like us), state educated and mostly comprehensives too (just like us) and either first ones in family to apply for, or the parents hadn't been to university themselves. (once again just like us)
I wonder if that's truly the difference, we as parents where there because our child asked us accompany them. They know what they wanted to know, and none of us knew what to expect or had any demands on what they should get.
Ds mentioned a girl, at Hull saying loudly to her parents, you may be a doctor and professor, but this is my day, not yours.
Who knows. Also every lecturer or head of dept at our recruiting universities, not only gave the student their card, but also parents for their questions, Via Email, was requested though. So they obliviously aren't like Raging to bothered about parents asking questions.

May be why Lincoln, Ds Firm, has gone from only opening in 2004, to be a gold standard, top 50 university, with plans to hit top 40, in five years.

I'm OP and did go to the open day. I just followed DD into welcome area, let her register and then pointed her in the direction of the tutors for her chosen subject (interestingly when we went to a talk, with only a few potential students, it was DD they remembered and not anyone else - hopefully that was a good sign or perhaps they didn't talk to anyone in welcome). I totally let her do the talking, she sounded very impressive to me (I didn't really understand what she was saying in relation to elements of her interest, but she sounded passionate). At the end I asked a couple of my own questions.

I attended several open days with Dd. Nearly everyone came with family members in tow. Parents were asking as many questions as the prospective students and this seemed to be fully accepted. Dd is attending the post offer applicant days with her friends. I do not want or need to get involved at all as it is now up to her.

What surprised me, on more than one occasion accompanying ds then dd, was the number of whole families that seemed to be making it some sort of a day out. what's that all about then ?

I'm about to start the UCAS thing again with my next DC, but from experience of the first it really depends on the child. Each DC so far has only been to two open days, mainly because it is expensive and time-consuming. One child was keen for me to go with them to see what I thought and the other was happy to go on their own, though we had already visited both cities on previous family trips so could discuss the pros and cons of the locations.

Cardiff, in my opinion, had the right idea. For the medical school open day a couple of years ago they split parents and -children- prospective applicants up for the entire day and plied parents with coffee and very tasty Welsh cakes and our own programme of talks and tours whilst our offspring got on with the real, very comprehensive, very well-organised open day. We were both extremely impressed. A few parents there completely dominated proceedings and I'm sure their children were very happy to have a bit of space to explore by themselves.

I second the comment about starting later and finishing later, it would really help those who want to come independently and don't live in London or near a major rail hub. Early trains are prohibitively expensive. Maybe 12pm-6.30pm?

We should start a petition - lessstressy! Later starts for open days!

I saw loads of family outings on my forays into open days. Some people obviously have lots of time available. I found it an eye opener too.

user: I think you might be right about the universities you mention and parent involvement. Some universities attract very over invested parents. Is Lincoln gold standard when it comes to grad salaries too?

Bubbles,
I not sure about salaries,
From parents talk and the bits I can remember (sorry)
It has 98% of students in jobs or further study by following March
I think its either 73 or 78% start on graduate salaries.
I know it has very close links to Siemens, they are based on campus, and local agriculture and public services. It was the local business community which petitioned for it to open.
But sorry Bubbles , I couldn't tell you if any of that's Gold standard, I never went to University, and Ds only decided he wanted to go to university at end of year 11 so I am pretty clueless.
That's why we don't dominate open/offers days nowt intelligent to add.

Yes I noticed the whole family thing as well, to the extent of a crying baby in one talk.
I did enjoy playing match the family. Observing the gawky teens with obvious resemblance to their parents.

Gold standard usually refers to teaching standards.

I am not sure how widely published graduate salaries are. I know there has been work done where Economic grad salaries are compared and there are huge variations between the top (LSE) and the bottom (Wolverhampton). The report suggests that students don’t understand that there are such huge differences (3 times the salary from LSE). The reason this will come to the fore is perceived value for money. It’s something that’s the elephant in the room and not discussed by anyone at open days. It’s also a strong argument for better info being available to students and that gold standard teaching does not always equate to a gold standard job. There are undoubtedly students who could be giving themselves a better chance of a good job but don’t know how to do this. Choice of university is key it seems.