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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Fighting our way through 1st year uni (starting Sept 17)

917 replies

HSMMaCM · 17/01/2018 20:41

Continuing the previous thread.

Exams, assessments, essays, etc.

Support, or lack of it.

Will they all get accommodation for next year and can they cook a balanced meal yet.

OP posts:
Xenia · 20/04/2018 20:42

Sorry about the rabbit. We lost ours a few years back although by then only my older son and I were cleaning them out and playing with them and putting them in a run so I don't think they were missed that much by the youngest children.

(Both my boys had to have a guarantor. )

Original poster
HSMMaCM · 20/04/2018 21:11

DH is guarantor, or DD would have to pay 6 months.

OP posts:
Fortysix · 23/04/2018 13:28

Thank you, re accomm query. Sounds like I can park the whole thing for a little and leave to their own devices. However no doubt when it is my time to act and produce paperwork I will get two minutes' notice ...

rogueantimatter · 25/04/2018 17:01

DS is hoping to get somewhere for £150 pweek in London. He is adamant that some of the older students have found reasonable properties at this sort of price. I think they are considering Bethnal Green. Will it have a mix of okay and dodgy streets I assume?

Sorry about your rabbit. Rabbits are such lovely pets.

Eve · 26/04/2018 11:01

DS and I in shock .......and I may have a tear or 2 in my eyes at work!

DS got an email from the Uni saying he has been awarded a 1 off grant of £2k in recognition of his efforts on his course this year, the results he has achieved and the help he gives to other students.

Completely unexpected.

...not bad for a child with dyslexia as bad as his and proves with support and determination it can be done.

Needmoresleep · 26/04/2018 11:12

Wow! Congratulations to your DS. And how very nice to be recognised.

PilarTernera · 26/04/2018 11:30

I think they are considering Bethnal Green. Will it have a mix of okay and dodgy streets I assume?

BG is an interesting area, really mixed and changing all the time. There is a fair amount of gentrification and new development, like much of east London, but still lots of social housing. Sounds like a good choice to me.

MorvahRising · 26/04/2018 11:37

Eve how absolutely lovely; you must be bursting with pride! Well done to your DS.

Xenia · 26/04/2018 12:54

that's wonderful Eve. i was looking at my old diaries (am scanning some and have reached my university entrance year and first year at univesrity now) and I got a very unexpected end of first year prize (just based on exam marks) with money attached which was really helpful.it was worth about in today's terms £400 so not massive but very useful to have particularly given the cost of law books (I have my account book from that year where I wrote down every penny spent - my sons don't do that although I suppose you don't need to with on line banking at your finger tips these days) and books were really expensive.

bigTillyMint · 26/04/2018 13:03

How fab Eve!

Rogue, I agree with NMS - mixed area and should be OK. £150 a week would be about the same as DDs in Brizzle!

Original poster
HSMMaCM · 26/04/2018 16:31

Eve - fantastic

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 26/04/2018 17:03

Just wanted to post amongst friends here about my day with my youngest, DS(16)

He had an audition for a specialist music college for sixth form but though it went reasonably well and they said he was clearly a musical lad he didn't quite make it to the next round of auditions.
Has dealt with the whole day and the disappointment really well though so still proud of him for going for it.
And I quite enjoyed my hour or so people watching - some amazing musical young people - and reading my book in their nice on site cafe.

Friends from current school having been saying nice things about him staying on there for sixth form, and to be fair that is a decent option for him too.

A bit tough going for stuff and not always getting it, but probably a worthwhile life skill in itself?

Xenia · 26/04/2018 17:16

Sometimes it is no bad thing not to get in. Reading all my old failures in my old diaries recently I sometimes think I did well because of those as you realise you can cope and just carry on . My 3 sons had a music scholarship a t their schools (not music schools) and doing music within a school as they did can be quite good too and it can get you a broader sixth form experience in my view than some of the specialist music schools like the Purcell etc. In my children's father wishes his parents had put him off music as a career (he's a brilliant organist and a pretty good teacher, but there is not and neve rhas been much money in music for most people so I'm pretty glad I kept it as hobby)

JugglingFromHereToThere · 26/04/2018 18:08

Certainly there are always various paths we can take in life so thanks for those thoughts Xenia.

Still feeling a bit disappointed for him though as it would have been a lovely opportunity. Huge competition though I realise that.

Horsemad · 26/04/2018 18:48

Sorry to hear DS wasn't accepted; it's totally natural to feel disappointed - I know I would if it were me.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 26/04/2018 19:05

Thanks Horsemad.

And sorry for slight thread tangent to younger sibs but feel this has become my main Mumsnet thread these days - I've been with you folks a long time now!

Original poster
HSMMaCM · 27/04/2018 07:44

Of course it's disappointing, but when one door shuts, another one opens. Good luck with whichever path he takes next.

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 27/04/2018 07:58

This morning I'm seeing the positives in staying on with friends at current school - just a few GCSE's to tackle first but hopefully that should be do-able. At least we can give that some focus now.

Still young I guess for working out what he might do career wise. Quite tough for aspiring musicians though isn't it? The competition is so strong. But I do also believe they get a lot out of it in itself - music is such a lovely thing to have in your life. And also regarding things like concentration, discipline and team work it's very positive I think.

Current school sixth form he can also do drama which he should enjoy - again with a lovely group of friends

Xenia · 27/04/2018 08:05

Yes, I think there are positives in staying in your school through to sixth form so you have that stability and friends etc. Music careers many have a lot of fun. My children's father has seen so many really brilliant musicians over the yaers with very high hopes who a few years later come knocking on the door want to teach at his school(s) for a pittance because even though they were the best in their school at music they still find it hard to make a living. Reading my old diaries (sorry to bore people) from my university time - I am on term 1 now.... I joined 2 choirs and it was absolutely wonderful (I wasn't reading music). We toured Spain singing and did all sorts, competitions etc and in a sense I have 5 lovely children because I joined their father's choir at a cathedral - the power of music.

More generally the career issue is hard when you are young and you change. I suppose we can do is give them the skills to adapt to different jobs throughout their lives. Anyway my oldest son has nicely set the career bar very low for the younger ones - after his degree 3 years a post man and now very happily indeed driving Ocado vans. he has never been ambitious. He has bought a small house and I think he has a very happy stabl life he likes and he has always wanted to avoid the tensions you get in many jobs. His only problem would ever be too much traffic and some time deadlines. I crtainly think he could do a lot better in terms of status and money but those values are not important to him and why should they be? We are not all born to be teachers or lawyers or whatever our parents do.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 27/04/2018 08:56

It is a fantastic thing if our children are happy and reasonably resilient Xenia and I think it is wrong for parents to hope for more than that in terms of particular careers, universities, having children or whatever - it is their life to live after all.

Horsemad · 27/04/2018 17:10

Yep, I was most upset when DS1 didn't pass to progress to the following year but I am over it now.

It's his life and not up to me to decide what he does.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 27/04/2018 21:55

That does sound difficult for you Horsemad, but I know for myself it's about trying to keep some perspective, and also realising that they are growing up and making their own decisions and ploughing their own furrow now :-)

Haffdonga · 27/04/2018 23:27

Congratulations to Eve's ds Star
and really bad luck to Juggling's ds Sad. I'm sure if he's passionate enough other opportunities will crop up for him.

DS has just been telling me about one of his flatmate's who just hasn't returned after the holidays. He said she started the year really positive and outgoing and made friends with everyone, but she gradually withdrew from the group, stopped going to lectures and spent more and more time in her room using more and more drugs. It's such a sad story that I've heard so many times now. I'm glad she's at home, hopefully being cared for by her family. Sad

Horsemad · 28/04/2018 07:38

It's scary how prevalent that scenario is Haffdonga. Sad

Whilst uni can be and is a fab experience for many, there are large numbers for whom the dream doesn't materialise.

There is so much pressure on them to go and they are constantly told it is amazing, yet the reality is somewhat different.

Haffdonga · 28/04/2018 10:26

Compelled to apologise for my stray apostrophe there. Blush

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