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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

We've survived the first half term - go us! (starting uni 2017)

928 replies

flyingpigsinclover · 26/10/2017 17:29

New thread....we've got to the first half term!

OP posts:
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LineysRun · 02/11/2017 22:42

My DS is on a very crap diet, but I remember in my first year catered halls it was all pie & chips. One breakfast a week was fishfingers and a very unpleasant brand of tinned spaghetti.

Horsemad · 02/11/2017 22:46

My DS is similar Blog, he likes where he is, the course, the flatmates etc but I think he gets a bit fed up doing the mundane cooking/laundry stuff.

Timetogetup0630 · 02/11/2017 23:14

DD has just come home for reading week, and is telling us about the drug use in her block of Flats, Nitrous Oxide being the most popular, it seems......

hellsbells99 · 02/11/2017 23:49

Blog, I think it is probably worse that her course is not full-on. My DDs both get home sick but at least are kept busy in uni and it also stops them sitting in their rooms on their own. Can she join the gym or any different societies? My DDs also both come home every couple of weeks for a night - more to see each other and the pets, not sure they are that bothered about us!

hellsbells99 · 02/11/2017 23:51

Blog - sorry forgot to say that they have also got in the routine of doing some 'batch cooking' so they know they also have something they can take out the freezer ready for later. I have done them a couple of online shops too.

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2017 07:06

Another one here whose DD does batch cooking. She and one of her flatmates even got an Asda order delivered the other day!

Blog, it is hard moving to a new place, new "job", making new friends, learning to look after yourself, etc. They are all finding their feet, even the ones who are happy. I'm sure it will get easier - next term everything will seem so much more familiar.

Had a lovely long phone call with DD last night (2 hours!) and all seems OK although she is worrying about writing and handing in 2 essays in the next couple of weeks, plus friends coming to stay - not great timing!

kath6144 · 03/11/2017 07:24

I would also recommend batch cooking, we have always done it for the days I work and DS started in his 1st year last year. He would do a couple of different meals over a weekend, and his freezer would gradually be filled with a variety of dishes. He even bought himself a slow cooker and has asked for a larger wok for forthcoming bday or xmas.

Interestingly he has less freezer space this year, in his shared house. I think he is still batch cooking, maybe not as much.

He settled quite quickly, but has since said it took until second term to make course friends, despite him doing a full on science with labs. But he does now seem to have a decent amount of course friends, plus lots from halls last year, as well as his housemates.

Its a long time since I was at uni, but I really struggled in the first term, nearly gave up once or twice. Not helped by doing engineering, which was v male dominated in those days. I did have friends on my corridor, who became house mates and still good friends 30++ yrs later, but it took until the Christmas to really feel part of their 'pack' as it were.

I think as long as your DD is not unhappy Blog, then yes it will get better. It is a massive life change, my DS was quite mature but he still found all the admin stuff hard and we exchanged many Whatsapps and facetimes.

GetAHaircutCarl · 03/11/2017 07:33

DD came home last night Grin.
She very much enjoyed her placement at the RSC and declared Birmingham university a great place.
She's absolutely knackered though.

DS is coming home today too. So we will have the band back together!

HSMMaCM · 03/11/2017 08:11

DD hasn't mentioned any drug taking, although I'm sure she's seen some. She's not batch cooking. She says there's not enough space in her freezer.

Glad the RAC placement went well. A friend of mine went to uni in Birmingham and loved it.

HSMMaCM · 03/11/2017 08:11

RSC!

Needmoresleep · 03/11/2017 08:34

Blog, I hope your daughter feels better soon. Part of the problem is the newness of it all, without the familiarity of, say, old friends.

Is there also an issue with time management? DD's course is the opposite with 30 hours of contact time. They seem to do a lot of testing perhaps to train kids to keep on top of the material and to learn as they go. Attendance to lectures etc is compulsory. The course failure rate is extremely low, so they will all get through, but some (including grad students) appear to be struggling initially with the change of pace. DS had similar with his first year maths courses and in his second term his tutor kindly took him out for a coffee and suggested different study techniques.

One seminar a day sounds like a big change from school, and a lot of time in which assignments might loom. Is breaking the time up, by scheduling in some non academic things, a possibility. DD has always used sport this way. So after a full day she often has training, so has to fit study in somehow, either before or after. She did this at school so has mastered the art of doing things quickly to a good, but not perfect, standard. For her sport is downtime, and a shortcut to finding a friendship group.

I would add here that it seems to have taken longer to make friends in her University accommodation, or from her course, but this has now started to happen. It appears there are quite a few quieter ones who were pretty shell-shocked during freshers week and the aftermath, who have started to emerge and find each other.

I would really recommend she tries to find a group activity like sport (there are usually lots of not-so-serious teams) or a choir or something that means regular contact with a like-minded group. Plus her giving thought to managing her days so that she gets better use of her time, perhaps by quizzing one or two of her course mates about how they cope/organise. If she can pick up effective time management skills now, the next three years will be a lot more fun.

Sorry about that essay. It has been a huge transition. DD now seems to have a routine, has a sense of achievement from sorting out things like the DSA, and has started picking up some good friends. It helps that her course, with all the testing etc, seem to keeping a close watch on them so she knows she is doing OK, plus her sports team are doing well. She may also, finally, be getting over her freshers flu. I think it will be next term before she feels fully settled, but she is already confident she is in the right place and on the right course.

She has decided to switch allegiance from the big name team everyone supported at Primary school, to support the football team her dad follows, so will join us at an away match near her University at the end of the month. I am told to buy her a replica shirt, but the team will probably lose so she could well swap allegiance back!

Needmoresleep · 03/11/2017 08:50

Time, drugs use seems to be pretty common, much more so than school where it was pretty easy to avoid. It is upsetting some of the medics, and presumably the lawyers. They have it drummed into them that they will not get a practicing certificate if they get caught with drugs, so not easy when the whole flat stinks as a result of a single flatmates "pre's". Lets hope they don't have randomised drug tests, as one girl was convinced she would fail as a result of fumes coming in from the corridor.

There were apparently room searches during reading week. DD does not know if these were to find forbidden electricals or with a different aim. She also does not know if they went into her room. (I was a bit surprised they could do this, but presumably it is in the contract.)

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2017 13:00

NMS, thats interesting, there is a lot of recreational drug use at the schools by us, worse where there are more MC students who can afford them. It means that DD long ago decided that she doesnt want to get into serious drugtaking. Apparently!

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2017 13:01

And I must ask if she knows anything about room searches Shock

MorvahRising · 03/11/2017 14:10

DS had a room search last week. They were given notice that it would happen at some stage during a five day period. The emphasis seemed very much on electricals and making sure stuff was PAT tested. Hair straighteners and curling tongs were specifically mentioned in the leaflet, neither of which were a concern to DS!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 03/11/2017 15:14

DD coming home this weekend! Wooo!

Wants to see a friend too who is also home this weekend, and DS has a party sleepover on Saturday night, but hopefully everyone will still get to see a bit of one another! Hoping we might manage a meal out together, and maybe an autumn walk on Sunday.

Just a proper catch up on the sofa will be so nice!

Horsemad · 03/11/2017 15:46

Awww, enjoy the time Juggling Smile

bigTillyMint · 03/11/2017 16:22

Aww Juggling - wish my DD was coming home for a snuggle on the sofa Smile

Blogwoman · 03/11/2017 17:29

Thanks for the kind comments and tips. DD is good at time management but I think just finding her feet with it all and working out what she can fit in. She has joined a choir, but I think that's about all she's doing. Has joined a gym but feels she doesn't have time to go... Suspect much time is used up stressing about work. I hope she will start going as she feels better for exercise. I may end up going to see her tomorrow.

Timetogetup0630 · 03/11/2017 18:00

Needmoresleep, yes, DDs whole flat stinks of weed which seems to be one of Drum and Bass boys endearing habits...

These Middle Class drug takers with cash to spare...do they go progressively downhill and end up as heroin addicts or in rehab, or do they get a grip,once the novelty has worn off and sober up.

Oh, and she tells me someone took a dump in one of the hallways....evidently they were asked to leave that accommodation.
Shock

GrumpyOldBag · 03/11/2017 18:01

DS is home for the first time.

Travelled light - no laundry because he did all earlier in the week before he decided to come home, & is quite cross about it because "it costs a lot of money."

Going to 2 parties tomorrow night, asked me if it's OK! And acting as DH's taxi for going to pub tonight!

Leeds2 · 03/11/2017 18:28

That bit about the laundry made me smile Grumpy! Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Haffdonga · 03/11/2017 19:35

Enjoy having your boy home Grumpy.

My ds is heading off on the night bus to see a couple of his (female) friends at Edinburgh uni. Due to arrive something like 3am. Hope one of them likes him enough to meet him at the bus station He didn't take a sleeping bag so I pointedly haven't asked who he'll be staying with.

BestIsWest · 03/11/2017 22:19

My two are back home tonight too. DH’s birthday this weekend so they thought they’d surprise him. We are all sitting round watching a film. Like old times.

bigTillyMint · 04/11/2017 07:13

Timetogetup, DD was saying that everyone was off their faces at the D 'n B club she was in a while back. Not sure it was "only" weed!
A colleague of mine was playing a gig in a local very MC persons house (think 2 - 3+million) and was shocked to see that all the parents were all off their faces on coke. They all had young children at the local private schools and would have been in the public school system themselves.

Have just realised it's still 6 weeks till DD comes home for ChristmasSad