We've survived the first half term - go us! (starting uni 2017)

[flyingpigsinclover]

New thread....we've got to the first half term!

That's nice Lazydog but you're not in the UK !

Well spotted time. I was just sharing a bit of unexpected good news - not implying that anyone else should be getting their hopes up. Sorry for any confusion

Rufus - Is he coping fine without the additional advice/mentoring, or do you think he's making a mistake...? Either way, he sounds like he's having a good time, which is so important.

LazyDog what a lovely surprise. DD applied everywhere we could find for grants and got nothing.

Lazydog thats fab on all counts! Going to uni at 17 is young - good on him for doung so well

That's fantastic lazy one of my friends sons has just received a bursery so he is chuffed as well

Yeah ds1 is enjoying it, dh is worried that he isnt telling us but when he comes home apart from the usual bitching about someone not cleaning the kitchen he seems relaxed

Which for him is awesome...he is usually so tense

I think he is making a mistake not accessing the help but ive said he should make a concentrated effort to sort it before Christmas. But he seems to be managing...finding it hard though

And i am pleased he is making frieds even though the partying has slowed down, he really struggled for years with making freinds and self esteem

Anyhoo, he told us yesterday that his flatmates made a comment about the cleaner always emptying the kitchen bin and taking it as well. They were surprised to find that it had been ds1 all along

That's lovely news @lazydog, what's he going to do with the money - does he need it to live on or can he save it? . Happy 18th to your DS :-)

@eatyourveg, that tree is looking great. I'm not sure if my DD will be having a tree, she's sharing with two non-Christians (a non-issue to her and me) so they may or may not bother with Xmas.

@QOD DD doesn't do the social events for much the same reason. She's a home bird anyway but thankfully has made a small group of friends who are like her. It's a shame to be seeing people throwing away the opportunity to go to university when it's because they are getting involved in drinking, drugs and fighting not because it's not for them (that's understandable and isn't throwing it away)

Rufus, I hope your DS is managing well without the mentor, it's hard isn't it?

Blogwoman, glad the counselling is going well.

We only see DD when she comes home, we can't afford the petrol to go and see her :-( We've only been there once when she had a problem and needed us.

farty thanks , it is hard...i just want to ring the uni and sort it, it would take 5 minutes

Sorry about not being able to visit your daughter as frequently as you would like

Does she live very far away? My friends son is 5 hours drive!!

5 hours?! No, she's not that far - it takes a couple of hours but money is so tight.

Its everything else i would imagine as well farty wanting to treat her when you get there and the additional expenses

Its a relief when ds1 comes home rather than us visiting him

He just wants to chill in the playroom watching tv on a proper sofa and someone else cooking his tea and doing his washing

When we visit him we feel we should take him out to dinner and potentially buy him stuff...much more expensive

Ds1 says by the by

'Oh must remember to buy some beans'

And dh goes

'I WILL GET THEM'

And throws himself into the nearest shop!

Its everything else i would imagine as well farty wanting to treat her when you get there and the additional expenses

Yes, there is no parking unless you pay £15, then lunch/coffee and whatever else I buy her - we end up spending getting on for £100

DD called yesterday. She has an essay due and an exam next week. She has an exam room with no more than 4 people in it, 25% extra time and rest breaks. The support is gradually coming in. Still hasn't had her software training though.....

She's off to buy Christmas decorations today, but didn't mention a tree.

lazy what a great surprise! Lovely.

rufus that’s really encouraging that your DS is making friends, a relief to me that DD is too. Worrying when they have struggled in the past. Hope he gets support sorted. Glad support coming in for your DD HSMM.

farty that must be hard...

DS is already sorting out a private house for next year - he has put down a deposit & will be sharing with 3 other people in his current student flat.

I'm worried this is too soon - he's only a few weeks into it, what if they fall out?

Or am I worrying too much?

DD's uni have put a poster up saying 'Don't rent yet' and the comment that landlords might pressure people into signing up early. This went up the same week that her (private) student hall opened the bookings for next year - they get first refusal on the same accommodation for next year if they book in late October

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Thanks youre right it is a relief. He is honestly such a lovely boy and has always been liked and respected by his peer group...he just has no idea how to make freinds

Thats reminded me farty i must look a student accommodation for next year, or he will be sleeping in the canteen!!

DS was looking at a house with 5 of his friends but we discussed the ins and outs and he has decided not to do so, he is going to go back into halls next year (thankfully he is in a place where this is an option). If you are in a location where private renting is the norm for 2nd year then this is the time when a lot of househunting happens, it feels very early but seems to be normal.

OddBoots, not everywhere. Certainly not in London, and many Universities elsewhere advise that students wait until after January at least. I am certainly encouraging my daughter not to panic. I would far rather she took more time to choose her future flatmates, even if it means paying a bit more. She may also be lucky. DS was able to take over a room in an established flat with friends in the year above, who he knew from a society. It was perfect, close to University, not too expensive and quiet.

Looks like ds1, two of his male flatmates, their freind who has no one to rent with and one of his female flatmates are going in together

I have suggested that the female flatmate might want a female friend as well

But we have just seen a lovely flat...much too expensive though

One was 4 double bedrooms so we had a quick look to get an idea...is it me but if you cant get a double bed in it surely its not a double

Lots of the university managed accommodation has gone already apparently

DS is a second year but is looking at houses for next year. He was advised last year not to rush into it as there would be plenty of places left in the spring. His group found that when they started looking in January there wasn't much left.
He could stay in halls at his uni but it works out much more expensive and he wanted the full uni experience of living in a hovel.

DS said he'll stay in halls but possibly not the halls he's in currently as they are not 'social enough'

We went to see ds yesterday. He allowed us to enter his flat and even meet some of his flatmates providing we said or did nothing embarrassing. (I think we managed to behave).

DS and his flatmates have started talking about sharing next year. They all get on really well so far but they have the dilemma of having one very shy and awkward lad in the group who doesn't really interact much and who seems to have no other friends. They assume he's hoping he'll be included in next year's share with them but aren't really sure if they want to. My heart goes out to the poor lad (who sounds by ds's description that he may have ASD) as he's clearly making an effort to join in with the flat goings on in his own way. DS says nobody dislikes him and they don't want to go behind his back and just leave him out, but nobody is sure they want to commit to living in close quarters with him for a second year either. It's a properly adult moral dilemma.

Haff that’s a dilemma for them. Can’t help feeling sorry for the boy.
Can I have a handhold please? Things really bad with DD this afternoon