Starting lectures at uni 2017

[HSMMaCM]

The other thread filled up really quickly, with exciting talk of laundry, mattress toppers and lost property.

Here's where the rest of them settle in, get through freshers and the work gets serious.

Oh Imabanana that's awful. Your poor dd. It does sound like her flatmates are there for her.

Things I always advise students to join are the university/college/department newspaper or magazine. Similarly any radio or TV shows. They always need people and are usually a hood and diverse bunch.

And counter intuitively for shy types, join the drama stuff. They always need back of house folk and will train up. This will put you in with some very gregarious/friendly types and there's always tons of camaraderie.

Errol I just assumed he meant he was a big boy, rather than the council is for boys (disclaimer - equality passes me by sometimes ).

DD has been home for the weekend. We haven't seen her and she wasn't even at home last night, so same as before she left really .

I have to admit being slightly relieved when DD and her boyfriend split in the springtime, so she could recover a bit before leaving. Wasn't great timing for A levels but at least it was done. He was at a party with someone else immediately afterwards too. Luckily he didn't get into his chosen uni, which was next to hers.

Bit worried about DS social life, as he is a quiet & shy chap.

He is mad about football and a strong supporter of one particular well-known team. I thought this was going to be an easy way for him to find his tribe & socialise at Uni. But when I asked him yesterday where he was watching the match he said in his room.

I suggested he go out to one of the student bars as they'd be bound to have Sky Sports in one showing the match, but he said he hasn't yet found anyone he can watch matches with yet. I just don't think he's brave enough to go on his own.

He does seem to get along with his flatmates, but I don't think any of them are into football like he is. And he's not good enough to play for a Uni team, and doesn't seem to have found a rec group he can play with although I'm sure such things must exist.

Going to see him & take him out for lunch next weekend, so will get a better idea then I guess.

Imabanana That must be very hard indeed for your DD. How horrible for you too. I'm sure her flatmates will be very supportive. Could you send her lots of treats and little supportive messages in the absence of your physical tlc?

rogueantimatter yes, I'm planning on sending chocolate.Her cousin was going to visit today with her dog under the theory, stroking a dog makes anything better.

Grumpy I've just had the exact same conversation with ds. He's in a flat with girls who aren't interested in foty and is missing company to watch matches. I've been suggesting to him that he asks one or two of the guys he's met on his course if they fancy meeting up to watch. There must be others who want to too.

Sounds like she's well shot of this boy (though telling her that is unlikely to be considered helpful!), and she may ultimately gain more by forming deeper friendships with her flatmates. And her cousin's balm in canine form sounds excellent!

Haffdonga I'm also going to suggest that he wears his team shirt to lectures which might help flush out some other fans too ...

Good idea with the shirt Grumpy

Oh, that's tough for your DD, Imabanana. It does sound like she's got a great supportive bunch of flat mates though.

That's a shame re the boyfriend and the end of the relationship. Grumpy, I like the football shirt idea.

DD has just gone home after the weekend, we had a lovely time on the whole (apart from one very upsetting bit of news but not DD related). We went out, spent money we couldn't afford but DD doesn't know that - we went to a place that was £20 for us all to get in and then I bought the three of them lunch (didn't have any myself) so that was another £20. Worth it though. She's had to get an earlier train home as the connections didn't work.

I think so ErrolThe Dragon but no she doesn't want to hear it . He really was her best friend and privy to all her hopes , upsets and secrets for a couple of years, so she feels very lonely. I'm glad he's done it now though, so early it means she can set routines that don't involve him. Just wish I could give her a big hug.

Imabanana that’s pretty horrible for your dd.
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Grumpy there are so many pressures to make friends in record time. I remember DS finding he took a while to work out who his friends were when he started secondary school and that was when he was coming home every day to let off steam to me. That was with a year group of a hundred odd. University will be finding the right ones through thousands. Which means there will be people but might take a while to find. Ironically there’s a football supporters society at DS uni, but he doesn’t really like football. Could your DS put a question on The Student Room forum for his uni? So it’s a bit more anonymous.* Like “are there any XXXX team supporters here?” He might get lucky. Maybe from students in other years or overseas students if it’s a well known club.

Bold fail above

Good idea tobee I'll suggest that to him ...

Imabanana, poor DD but at least she can enjoy meeting new people now without having to consider him.

Footy shirt and student room/fb a good idea to find other fans.

Fairy, glad you had a lovely weekend. And sympathies about feeling sad shes gone.

Does the student union show sky or similar? ds is a massive sports fan and in a flat of 7 with only one other boy. He says he goes over to watch the matches in the SU (his hall is very close to the campus) where there are lots of others watching. Might be the same at your ds's SU

Imabanana your poor DD. And poor you, knowing she's upset and so far away from you. At least he won't be a hindrance to her making new friends. Not that that will be any comfort to her now but hopefully the break-up will be a good thing in the long run.

Iamabanana how is your DD now? I'm sorry she's going through this, especially as she's so far away. Hopefully, like PP have said, there will be a silver lining for her even if she can't see it now.

Thank you for caring everyone. Dd a bit wobbly, faced timed a couple of hours ago and she was able to chat but welled up a couple of times. So so grateful to her housemates who have only known her 3 weeks but are making sure she's not in her room alone. Hopefully these really will be the friends for life every one talks about. She said the boys and girls all make sure they knock on each other's doors when people are in the kitchen to make sure everyone feels invited even if they're shy.

As someone else said Banana , hopefully in the future your dd will look back and be very relieved that her bf did this now when it's still early enough in her uni life to make a whole new social life and group of friends not based around him. It would be far harder for her 6 months or a year down the line to be building a new social life when friendship groups are more established.

Doesn't make it any easier right now though. Poor dd.

Ooh that must have been so hard. It sounds like she's doing well. Her flatmates sound really nice. Thank goodness. Hopefully she will have loads of things to distract her and she'll bounce back quickly.

Sorry about your DD Imabanana, her friends sound lovely.

DD's housemates are fab. They have a WhatsApp chat group. One of the girls put on the group that she was feeling ill and within 15 minutes they were all there, including one who left a lecture. I love that they are supporting each other