Second year accommodation

[Stopmakingsense]

DD in first year, managing ok but not made many friends. Is fairly self sufficient, but doesn't think she will be part of a group getting together to rent a house next year. Anyone had experience with this - how common is it just to look for a spare room in a shared house? Or do most second years make up their own groups?

Most second years will make up their own groups but by no means all.

A lot of cities now have privately owned halls where you can just take one room in a shared flat, usually ensuite. Alternatively, there will also be plenty of spare rooms where people have dropped out, decided to commute etc.

I'm a student landlord so see this a lot, in fact I have one house busy looking for someone to share with at the moment. I'm sure your DD will be fine and may even meet some new people who she really does click with.

Ds is currently in the same situation. I suspect it isn't as uncommon as it feels, when the conversation seems to be all about who will be sharing with whom. His uni has a housing fair in a few weeks' time and he is planning to go along, ideally with someone else at a loose end.

This post resonates with my as I found myself in exactly the same situation after a year in halls and felt so sad. I just went looking at noticeboards and met a lovely girl who I ended up living with happily for 2 years. In that time I made other good friends and spent my final year in a group flatshare. I imagine these days it's more online ads than noticeboards but reassure your DD that she's not alone in not quite finding a group that 'fits' in first year. The main friend I made later and lived with was one of my bridesmaids and is still in my life 20 years later

That's all helpful and reassuring - thanks!

My DD looked for a room in a flatshare twice. The first time uni friends told her about a student who was looking for someone to share his flat. The second time she replied to an ad on gumtree. Both were great - she gave up the first flat over the summer to save money and got another flat last autumn with no bother. Actually she's kind of done this three times now!! She moved in to a flat with her boyfriend in her first year and they sublet with the landlord's permission to a third tenant who answered their advert. It was great, while they were still madly in love..... Hence the two subsequent moves though. Honestly, she hasn't had any problems. However, the second flat was let by a friend of friends, so not a total unknown person. This time round the flat is owned by one of the girl's parents, which reassures me that the property will be safe and well maintained.

Sometimes people advertise as looking for a flatshare too - spareroom and gumtree have lots of flatshares.

If she doesn't get into group, she should have a look on spare room. She would probably have to look for a house with students still, otherwise she will raise their council tax. She will be fine 😊

I think it can work out for the best, purely because when a group of friends share they are more likely to be on a dreaded joint tenancy. IMHO you are much better protected as a guarantor if you have a individual tenancy agrements.

For example, my Eldest is in a house share in Devon. The house has seven rooms but only five are currently let but because they are on individual tenancies the rent for those empty rooms is not being picked up by any of the guarantors. Whereas on a joint tenancy agreement I would currently be paying extra rent for those empty rooms...

(I know that is slightly off topic for your thread, but just wanted to share knowledge/experience).

Back to your specific topic, Eldest shares the house with two international students and two other students. Although they are not a friendship group as such they do cook together and socialise a fair bit.

My DS1 is in the second year now. He's very quiet and not very sociable, and left it too late to team up with anyone he already knew, so he ended up looking for a room in a partially filled house. He ended up doing this in a bit of a panic quite late in the year, and had two possible rooms shortlisted, of which he probably chose the wrong one - there have been a few issues with loud music, dirty dishes etc that have made him unhappy at times, although he seems to be relatively OK at the moment. Ironically he chose this house over the other one because the people in the other house specifically said they were "quiet", and he was afraid they might be even quieter than him, and he might literally not have any interaction with them - he finds it easier when someone else makes the first move. He has sometimes said he wishes he had gone for one of those private studio flats, even though it would probably have been more expensive.

I suppose anyone can be lucky or unlucky with their choice of house, but his experience suggest to me that it would be worth starting to look a lot earlier than he did, maybe visiting each place several times to get a feel for what the atmosphere is like, talking to the housemates individually and seeing whether they're people she would like to live with.

My DS is heading back to uni tomorrow worrying about not having sorted accommodation for next year. Made friends with some boys who already knew each other from college and as he expected they had already arranged to live together. His other group of friends are girls and again they have got together in an all girl house. He says that although these friends are all very friendly, he always feels like the outsider. He says everyone he knows at home and at uni has got sorted out. He regrets not having joined a society in the first term and is now doing so and will go to the accommodation fair at the end of the month, but I know it is really getting to him. He is quite shy and not very good at putting himself forward but I guess he will just have to try and overcome that.