DS, second year uni. Spending hard. His loan for this term has almost disappeared and it was pretty generous to start with. We pay his monthly rent.
He hasn't learnt any lessons, it seems, from last year. Night clubs, bars, pretty pricey clothes and haircuts at almost £50 a time.The money is disappearing and he's hinting that he'll want a fair amount for his birthday (very soon) for more clothes etc. Last year, we bailed him out again and again and vowed we wouldn't do so to that extent again, barring an emergency. He seemed to agree and see the sense of it when he started the second year.
I work f-t and have a p-t job and DH is on a very low wage. We're also supporting another DS who's graduated but barely working at the moment.
Uni DS doesn't have a job and is usually very reluctant to work during the holidays. This Christmas he'll have an excuse, I suppose - in January he has to re-take a first year exam which he failed - he also failed the Summer re-sit and this will be his final chance. That and year 2 Spring exams.
I think he's studying but it worries the hell out of me that he's spending so much and is out so much - he had promised us that this year would be different. That in the second year he'd actually budget and restrict going out to meals and bars etc to reasonable limits.
Apparently, he now has a pretty substantial o/d and although I don't obviously know the exact state of his account, I think there isn't much left of the loan.
To be honest, we're pretty skint - money is tight. I know tough love is the answer but what I do I do when DS tells me, possibly sooner rather than later, that his money has run out or he's reached his o/d limit? I'm prepared to give him £50.00 for his birthday (Christmas is coming) but he's going to expect a great deal more, I fear.
Any suggestions as to how to cope and what to do? DH and I work our socks off but our DSs have, very sadly, rarely felt compelled to do so themselves. Many thanks.