Uni Freshers 2016 (second thread)

[soapybox]

A new thread!

^^ YY to that coconutty

I'm over 50 and I still phone my Mum every day or so.

Bloody wish DS1 would phone occasionally! We get by with the messenger app every few days. He's rubbish on the phone and his messages are positively telegraphic. I'm sure it's enough contact for him. I'm not so keen, though. They're all different, thank goodness. We wouldn't want clones or they'd all be competing for the same courses.

Bugger, DS1 is at Warwick. I don't think 2nd year accommodation has even entered his consciousness. He's only been there 4 weeks!

I think however much contact level they want to have is good... DD and I text or speak 2 or 3 times a day at the moment, but I expect that level will go down quite soon. I think we are lucky to be able to do it, being an ex-boarding school brat I remember the agony of the once weekly phone calls with 37 other people queuing up behind you with their 2p pieces. horrible.

thanks for asking coco her sister and I are off tomorrow to help her move stuff from old flat to new (more complicated than it sounds as in 2 different tower blocks but same halls iyswim) and then apparently I am buying lunch and taking them shopping?!!

agree that 2nd year accom is something too hard to think about at the moment!!

Hi all. Have been lurking on here from the beginning. DS1 has been away since beginning of September. He's doing really well, and I have used the messenger app to make sure he is still alive (not necessarily contacting him though). Beginning to get worried this morning as he is usually regularly on it, but hasn't been on it now for 18 hours. Yes I know in the general scheme of things that isn't long, and I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason. But my question is when is a sensible time to be really worried? Have messaged his GF to see if he has been on contact with her.

I think my DD is finding uni much harder than she anticipated, and is consoling herself by developing an extremely full on social life.

I in turn am finding it hard not to nag. I know that they are finding their feet living away from home etc, but I worry that she isn't putting the required effort into her studies that she needs to in order for it not to feel as overwhelming as it does to her at the moment.

I think my DD is finding some things harder than expected - she told me she is getting full marks in her written work but struggling with the lab work, though she said maybe it was just that she needed to adjust to that. However, she is very organised and has set herself a timetable of private study time and says she finds it easier to do that in the library where there are fewer distractions. She has just told me she has booked her train ticket home for 8 Dec and it will be great to see her.

My DS seems to be developing a great social life, but like notaflyingmonkey I do worry that his work may suffer. As he is doing an arts course he has relatively few 'structured' lectures and he seems anxious that he isn't getting the guidance he needs as to what exactly is expected of them. Although he had had some feedback from his tutor - he needs to be less of a perfectionist (advice I hope he will take on board, as I have been trying to get that message over for years!).

Yolo I hope the flat move goes well for your daughter and she can settle down in a more convivial living environment.

dd has been cooking from the Student Nosh Book, it looks great. They have a shopping list for each week in the back of the book, and a meal plan, including finishing the previous day's meal ! She tells me it is 5 weeks meal plan but did say after the 5 weeks may start to divert
given that she was not a very accomplished cook before, (mainly cakes) this is marvellous.

she has however lost her bank card, for the 2nd time!
luckily she is in walking distance of uni, well 40 minutes i think, the blisters on her feet prove that, it is a good job!

Fun times this morning- a stream of messages from upset DS who has lost his right arm phone. God these kids drive me mad!!

his phone
bad news indeed.

What has particularly peed me off is the "woe is me" attitude. Can't possibly go out tonight with friend visiting from another uni without a phone. Me: what do you think we did in the olden days? Just go out, and when you are done get a taxi of which there will be billions outside nightclub, and go home. What's the issue? Him: don't be ridiculous, can't go out without a phone. What if I get separated from friends, how will I contact them? Me: so don't get so drunk you get separated then. Or just go out for a meal. Him: don't be ridiculous etc etc etc ad nauseam

Aaaarrgghhhhhhh

And this will cost me a new phone if he doesn't by some miracle track it down today

i had a message from dd yesterday, up early for a change, wanted me to buy her some gig tickets, owing to her losing her bank card she couldnt do it herself!
priorities

coconutty great point- will check, hadn't thought of that! I'm slightly kicking myself because we had a flyer for student phone/laptop cover before he went and I kind of dismissed it as too expensive grrrr

I'm of a view that he needs to take some pain over this tbh. We DH are way too generous financially and I worry that he just expects things to get sorted. This time he needs to take it on his own chin in the hope that he will learn lessons

Hellsbells, thanks for the link to the Leeds Parents' leaflet, I hadn't seen it before.

DD is going up to Durham today to visit an old netball friend. She is staying for the weekend. Her friend says that she will find it very sleepy compared to Leeds!

DS1 is here in my living room! Hurray. He's visiting us before he goes to his dad's later on this afternoon. How come he seems to have grown up so much in 4 weeks?

Can I please ask for some advice? My DS is a 4 hr drive away, settled in well an he has AS. My son in law has tragically died and I don't know how best to let my DS know. I'm going to see him next weekend and would like to leave it till then, so I can tell him face to face. However that seems wrong, we text or speak every other day and I'm not sure I should keep something this serious from him. Part of the dilemma is that he has rubbish phone reception everywhere and we usually get cut off once or twice a phone call. Should I tell him tonight, tomorrow or wait until I can be with him? What would you do?

Oh, very sorry to hear that mygrandchildrenrock

I think I would tell him on your next phone conversation. Was SIL ill or was this out of the blue?

I can see why face to face is preferable, but keeping the news secret is not treating DS as the adult he is (becoming)

It's tricky though.

mygrandchildrenrock Sorry for your loss.
Skype is the next best thing to being in the same room. At uni he will have super fast wifi even if phone signal is patchy. Do you have Skype? If not it's very easy to set up on a laptop or iPad and I suspect he will already have it for chatting to friends.
I wouldn't wait a week unless you are sure he would not mind. I guess it depends how close they are?

Mygrandchildren that is very sad news - I am so sorry.

Is this your son's brother-in-law? If at all possible, in those circumstances I would travel to see DS tomorrow and break the news to him face to face. I assume that he will be attending the funeral and will also want to play a part in consoling his sister, and arrangements can take some time to organise so some warning would be good for him, I think.

It is terribly difficult though and there are no 'right' answer!

Thank you, it was very sudden and tragic. I think I will have to tell him but will see if I can change things about so I can drive down tomorrow. Yes, I wondered about social media and he will want to comfort his sister.
Thanks for your support.