Uni Freshers 2016 (second thread)

[soapybox]

A new thread!

A quick question regarding 2nd year accommodation. My dd (1st year student at Uni of Kent) was going to rent a house and share with her two existing housemates. Now one of them (an oversea student) has decided to stay on the campus next year. If my dd find no one to share a house with/can't afford to rent a flat, will the uni let her carry on staying at the campus next year?

I'm not sure - first years get priority. She needs to go to the student accommodation office ASAP for a list of landlords/ladies. I went to Kent and some of my friends were commuting from Margate.

autumnlove my DS (not at Kent) has said that there are loads of people looking for housemates on Uni Facebook pages and other similar resources. I'm not sure it would be fun for a second year to be in with the freshers - hopefully there will be a way to get off campus (probably cheaper too!)

DD went back to uni on Sunday, she was the last in her halls to return. All in all we had a crap Christmas as her younger sister had a brain haemorrhage on Dec 28th which left her in intensive care, critically ill. She's on the mend now but remains in hospital and will need further surgery at some stage. DD coped really well and managed to complete all her essays but didn't read much from her reading list. She's refused to tell anybody at uni about what happened so I'm hoping and praying that she will cope and will get any help if she needs it.

Sorry to hear that hennipenni - hope your younger DD is okay

hennipenni I'm rally sorry about your younger dd's haemorrhage. Wishing her a speedy recovery

That's terrible, I am glad to hear she is on the mend.

Hennipenni I really sorry to hear that, sending your whole family good wishes!

Sorry to hear about your dd2 hennipenni , must have been so worrying for you all.

Ds seems to have finally made some progress on housing. Is it usual to pay the fees for credit check, ast etc upfront in cash? Also they mention taking cost of final inventory and cleaning from deposit which I thought was questionable. Any advice?

hennpenni so sorry about your DD. Speedy recovery

Hennipenni - I am so sorry to hear the news about your younger DD; I hope she is on the mend now. What a scary time!

I hope your Dd1 manages to settle back into university life and is able to talk about it to some one in the pastoral care system there. I imagine she is still in shock from it all

LIZS - I know DD2 has paid her agency fees by bank transfer, DD1 has gone direct with a private landlord. Any items damaged etc or any cleaning that needs to be done at the end of the tenancy would normally be taken from the deposit but the deposit must be held Ina deposit scheme and the tenants can dispute the amount etc.

Just had v upset DS on the phone. His new uni friends from last term have dumped him so to speak. He's increasingly suffering from social anxiety and is withdrawing from everything other than his studies, it seems. He's 10 hours away by car.

I feel terrible for him. He's saying he's not sure if he can last the term. Wed go up like a shot to see him but he said not to. Should we go, anyway? He's got a flight booked to visit home mid Feb. I feel so useless!

Oh bucking that is hard. Hope things pick up for him. Does he enjoy the course?

Ds has handed over his money for the checks. Hopefully all will be ok.

So sorry to hear about your D2 henni -I hope she is recovering well.

Also sorry to hear of your DS's problems Bucking. I think the best advice is to do as he says and wait until he comes home in February, but that is advice I would find very hard to follow.

Bucking I would find it so hard not to jump in the car but if he doesn't want you to. I would let him know that if he change his mind you will be there. Hope things improve

Bucking - Is there a chance you could go up and visit for the weekend in early Feb? - it could be things have resolved and you could have a nice break in the city - if not you are there to asses the situation very shortly and he doesn't have so long to see you.
I had to do a mercy mission once - I had a nice weekend and my daughter felt able to resolve things knowing she had support in the background.
I think it is important to remember you continually make new friends as you go through uni and be prepared to have a few friendship changes on the way.

Hi Bucking, I hope your DS has a better week this week. Could you go and see him next weekend? Can you try and encourage him to join a society or go to the gym? This term is harder as the social side is quieter at the moment due to a lot of students having exams and reality has set in.

How is your DD Henni?
Oh dear Bucking I recall your DS is a long way North. It's so hard to know the right thing to do to help when they are far away.
How does he keep in touch? Is it all phone or does he Skype? Sometimes you can get a better feel for how they are if you can actually see them.
I think if it were my DS I'd want to go. As user says you could make a weekend of it.
All I would say is that sometimes with teens it's hard to tell the difference between a drama and a real crisis.

DS is ill yet again. It's as though the freshers flu knocked his immune system for six and he's hardly gone more than a week without a bug since September. Nothing serious but energy sapping.

DS is re-doing his first year (MH problems hit him hard in the first term). He spent last term angsting about whether he really should be back and would cope.

I've just had a text to say he had a great weekend, got 67% on his start of term exams, his project for the end of the month is 'nearly' done, and he's in a friendly group for the team project this term.

I'm kind of tensed for the bad news, but maybe it will work out this time.

Ds has a nasty cold and cough too. Not helped by a few too many late nights. I have reminded him that he did have some cold remedies with him to try, and tissues! He may now even be thinking he might need a coat, as he has to go outside to the dining facilities. You can't tell them though!

he might need a coat, as he has to go outside
Ha Ha yes. DS believes a beer jacket is sufficient.

Thanks all. He rings twice a week or so, and he called yesterday to say a visit in march would be welcome, if we fancied a break up north. Which, naturally, we do!

I sent him a parcel of chocolate etc yesterday which I know will help. Plus his dad my DP and I have agreed to courier his gaming PC up and just fingers crossed he keeps up with his studying (he's v engaged with that).

He's always struggled with the social side of education poor lad.

So, a long weekend in Aberdeen it is!

Bucking sounds like a plan! Also if you know he would welcome a visit you can bring it forward if you sense he needs it?
I know gaming can be isolating socially, but realistically if the alternative would be to sit alone in his room without the enjoyment he gets from gaming then it's a positive. One of mine is a gamer, has a whole separate on line bunch of friends. He does struggle to moderate his playing though and usually goes cold turkey at exam time.

Anyone else's DCs still struggling with homesickness? DD has made some nice friends, is enjoying her course and doing OK with the work. She's had MH issues for the past three years, but is better than she's ever been at the minute. But she's still really, really homesick.

She's only an hour away, and we've both looked at the advice for how to deal with it. She tries to stay at uni for as long as poss between visits home, but has only managed three weeks at the most. I visit her sometimes for a day. Not sure if that just makes things worse? I have two older DSs at uni, and they both got a bit 'low' in their first year but are a lot further away and just got on with it and didn't tell us till afterwards. Not saying that's good, but explaining I have no experience of it coz they didn't let on until after the event.

Any advice from anyone who's been through similar? Is it pretty normal at this point and should I just let her 'do what she's gotta' do re: coming home?