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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Uni Freshers 2016 (second thread)

862 replies

soapybox · 13/10/2016 12:27

A new thread!

OP posts:
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11
VanillaSugar · 08/01/2017 17:19

DD went back last Tuesday to view a second year house for September. She likes it and has paid the deposit so that's her accommodation sorted for the next 18 months - phew!

I don't think she'll come home much after September. We moved house /region whilst she was in sixth form and she doesn't know a soul round here Sad

notaflyingmonkey · 08/01/2017 18:41

I've just got home from driving DD back to uni. I'm feeling stupidly sad - selfish, I know.

sergeantmajormum · 08/01/2017 20:23

I feel sad too. Took DD back yesterday after a lovely Christmas during which we all adjusted to this grown-up coming home! Feel less worried compared to last term as she's so happy and settled but still sad cos she's not here. No one said motherhood was rational!

kath6144 · 08/01/2017 20:46

I also feel very sad, having taken DS back, despite him having settled really well, having loads of friends and sorted out his second year house.

I think its the feeling of him pulling away from us, not just physically but emotionally too. He was always v close to us, even through 6th form, chatted to us about everything, but he has definitely become a bit more closed up now.

I know its part of growing up and he is very mature, but I just want our closeness back!!!

notaflyingmonkey · 08/01/2017 20:58

I know that this is all the culmination of what we've been doing as parents for the past 19 years or so, preparing them and supporting them for. I didn't think I would find it this hard, and am surprised at myself. But I have taken solace in cake this evening - I recommend it to anyone else finding themselves in this sitution. Cake

hellsbells99 · 09/01/2017 00:07

DD2 is still packing! We are leaving at 9am so she is back and moved in hopefully by lunch and then she can revise all afternoon. We have been out for a lovely meal tonight. DD1 is going back on the train on Tuesday.
No cake here just a much needed G&T earlier whilst watching Sherlock.
I hope these next couple of exam weeks aren't too stressful - DD1 is already panicking over exams & DD2 tried to submit an assignment tonight that is due in by midday tomorrow but the uni system/folder was full!

NormaSmuff · 09/01/2017 07:26

Took dd back yesterday. Sad
hopefully she learns to enjoy it more this term and also that her flatmates quieten down.

Peaceandl0ve · 09/01/2017 07:39

My DD also got dropped back yesterday, ready for exams this week. It was a really lovely 3 weeks, perhaps a little bit too long as it has made the move back too wrenching for all of us. And to think I was worried that we would argue when she was home, but that didn't happen, perhaps we have all grown up!

Anyway, I am missing her so much and hoping she will come home for a visit before too long.

granarybeck · 09/01/2017 08:11

Ds and Dd both dropped back this weekend. It's been so lovely to have them home. They really enjoyed catching up with home friends. Ds said that whilst he's made friends at uni it's so noticeable how much him and his home friends laugh, and genuinely laugh, when together. I did remind him that friendships do take time to develop.
House is now very quiet, like others it's all or nothing here! Although I'm glad I've still got the dog!

hellsbells99 · 09/01/2017 08:35

When they went off in September it was all very exciting although they were both nervous too. This term is very different as none of the excitement of freshers and exams to do! Reality!

hellsbells99 · 09/01/2017 08:36

Granary - I noticed that both DDs enjoyed their friends more over the holiday.

granarybeck · 09/01/2017 11:17

Hellsbells , yes I think it made them appreciate them even though also looking forward to getting back to plans with new friends. I think in the same vein, them both being away has made me appreciate my friends and make individual plans with them more than I perhaps did.

homebythesea · 09/01/2017 13:20

I've got DS till the end of the week - I'm actually quite pleased that most of his friends are now gone back so that he has no excuse to get some work done for the next few days - he's going back to exams also, and had a project to complete and submit that counts for quite a large percentage of the marks. I don't think it will be quite as much of a wrench this time (she says!) - and anyway he's coming back in Feb for a concert and we may go and visit in Feb half term.

Blacksox · 09/01/2017 13:30

Feeling a bit bereft as our ds went back at the weekend after a month at home.

I think he really appreciated being home. He loves cooking but does nothing other than heat things up at uni, so he cooked almost every day when he was back.

I know we will get used to him being away again, but I am really missing his chat and banter.

Dunlurking · 09/01/2017 17:11

Another one feeling bereft. Ds obviously enjoyed being home so much that we had the best Christmas we've had in a long time. He was sociable, chatted, played family games, and was tolerant of dd. In turn dd didn't try to fight with him all the time. It makes it all the harder now.....

He went back on the train saturday and has facetimed already, only because he forgot his laundry card I think! At least it is easily posted. How have you got on returning the laptop Ellen?

Original poster
soapybox · 09/01/2017 18:10

I am just back home after driving DD back to Leeds.

She was so happy last term but is really down about going back. I think it is because she doesn't have exams but everyone else in her flat does, so tonight she is in on her own as everyone is in the library revising. She hasn't got any assignments to work on yet so is just twiddling her thumbs being bored!

It is much harder when they are not happy!

OP posts:
hellsbells99 · 09/01/2017 22:18

Granary - I am also enhancing my own social life! I have arranged drinks with friends later this week and then I am going out on Saturday night. I've also joined a Pilates class and go for a weekly walk with a group of friends.
Soapy - I have also taken my DD back to Leeds today. Most of her flat are not coming back for 2 weeks as they don't have exams so she is expecting it to be very quiet. There are also posters stuck up everywhere warning students to be quiet during exam time. DD has just messaged to say she had tea with the 1 girl who is back in her flat and they have just watched Silent Witness. 1st exam on Wednesday. I did notice that the campus seemed busy though so hopefully your DD won't be too bored.

NapoleonsNose · 10/01/2017 19:48

We took DD back at the weekend too. She had an essay due on Monday and stupidly had left it until the last minute to do it. She'd managed about a third when we left on Saturday morning so had to spend all day in the library on Sunday finishing it off. For some reason I woke up worrying about her not meeting the deadline on Saturday night, so it was a relief when she texted on Sunday afternoon to say she's submitted it. I really must stop being over-invested. Keep reminding myself that she's an adult now and responsible for her own shortcomings.

jaxxyj · 12/01/2017 22:05

My two are both back now as of today and I am planning to big clean/ sort out of their rooms at the weekend. I really enjoyed having them home but not the mess! DS went back at weekend and I have no idea whether he managed to get his essay done or in. He has applied for a job and has an interview though so fingers crossed. DD just texted to say she had got 70 in her end of term essay, no idea if that is good but she seemed really pleased! I have a feeling I'm going to miss them this term. I've booked a holiday in Spain in April and was pleasantly surprised that they both wanted to come, so at least I have that to look forward to!

GasLightShining · 14/01/2017 16:55

Good luck to those who have exams. DS only has one - seems rather relaxed!

He is on his way back and I have to get used to not having him around again. Although there will only be DD's mess here so not all bad.

DollyPlastic · 14/01/2017 17:36

DS had 5 exams and said 4 were very hard.

raspberryrippleicecream · 15/01/2017 10:46

DH has taken DS1 back this morning. House seems very quiet!

EllenJanethickerknickers · 15/01/2017 12:09

DS has managed a whole week without his laptop. He's coming home next weekend to collect it so we'll have a quicker meet up than planned. Smile

I actually found it less difficult taking him back this time as when he was home it was like nothing much had changed except he seemed a bit nicer, if anything. More grown up and chatty, less teenagerish and grunty. I think he appreciates all that's done for him at home now that he has to cater for himself at uni.

Also I did see him on 4 occasions, he came home twice and I visited twice, so much more than I was expecting. Taking him up in October, it felt like I was losing him but the reality has been much better, so this time I was much more relaxed and so was he. He also knew what he was going back to and he's been enjoying it mostly.

Leeds2 · 15/01/2017 13:27

Took DD to the airport this morning. Miss having her around already! She is back for a week at the beginning of March though, so something to look forward to.

Naughtytummy · 15/01/2017 17:15

Both are on the train heading back to uni, It's a very quiet house again Sad

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