Uni Freshers parents 2016?

[granarybeck]

hi

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

This was DS1's tea tonight. Not exactly haute cuisine, but beans are one of your 5 a day. Not sure of the nutritional benefit of charcoaled sausages, though.

Mine says he is making an omelette and appears to have had lots of pasta this week. Going to see him for the day on Saturday so busy gathering lots of food together.

ds (and dh) always insist on charcoaled sausages. Or as my little brother said (aged about 5) I like my meat the way Granny does it - burnt.

DS is looking forward to starting lectures tomorrow. He has five hours of lectures and practicals spread between 9 to 6 so I think it will feel like a long day. He is a the college pub quiz tonight in a team with his flatmates, which is nice.

He has done some shopping and batch cooking for the freezer! And been into town to buy an airer, and done some washing.

I think we'll go down in a couple of weeks at the start of half term

Well I wish my ds ate baked beans and omelettes. He's OK on sausages and pizzas......not quite sure what else.

Just had a successful first facetime conversation. So pleased. Hopefully he'll feel encouraged to keep on touch now he knows how easy it can be and that it's free.

Update from me birthday weekend for the twins! We visited dd she is doing great, had two cakes made for her birthday, had a picnic yesterday and some new friends came, which she was really pleased with. She does look very pale though, hasn't been sleeping well- has a chronic sore neck and the bed isn't great. We bought her a new pillow, a uni sweatshirt and a small shop (wouldn't let us buy more!) and took her out for lunch.
DS is bit more independent and therefore slightly illusive. He had a great birthday too, I downloaded some photos of his friends from facebook, got them printed and sent w a box of pins which he loved!
He has a cold but managed to make an 'adult meal'Rosemary chicken roast potatoes and asparagus
It was weird not doing the old opening of presents and cards and sharing their day but I guess it's life!

We've had ds home for the weekend - not seen a great deal of him as he was only here just over 24 hours & saw his girlfriend too but he's had 2 good meals, a decent nights sleep & fitted in a flying visit to his grandparents-who thought he looked thin (he didn't!) - having said that he seems absolutely fine & is totally embracing the social side of uni! He seems to be getting on very well with his flatmates too so I feel very happy tonight & I haven't felt tearful at all even when we saw him off on the train!

FaceTime with dd1 tonight. She seemed in good form. This weekend has been the best so far for me. The pangs of missing her have dulled a bit
We are now five weeks in and get to see her in two. She looked really bonny and seems full of enthusiasm for the course.

5 weeks in! She must have started really early, my DC has only just finished fresher's and is looking forward to getting started on the course this week.his college is fully catered 7 days a week, so at least I know he is eating!

My DS starts his first proper week today. He's catered (breakfast and evening meal) but didn't have it at all this weekend as his girlfriend visited him from York uni, so I know he didn't eat properly. But what can you do, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. Well to me it does, but not to him
Good luck to all starting their courses this week, and of course to the ones who are already on their way.

Coco, it's tough when they're missing you and tough when they're not isn't it? And this weekend must have felt hard with your DH away

I feel shocked at what a sudden transition it feels even though I very much knew it was coming. There are older women I work with who adore their sons from a distance and get very excited when a visit from them is on the cards. I always thought that would happen to me gradually and in the distant future...but it seemed almost overnight.

Having said that I much prefer the poignant sadness of missing DS to the gut wrenching anxiety when he wasn't settled. I've been wondering about those who reported very homesick DC and haven't posted since.

Coco I also meant to say that it's difficult to know whether they're missing you and home at this stage anyway when they're occupied with concentrating on throwing themselves into their new lives. You may well get a different picture when he comes home for a break!

We did an overnight trip with our caravan close to DS uni this weekend. We went to see him yesterday, took a load of bits he either forgot or didnt know he wanted (eg fan - halls v warm!). DD also got to see his room. We took him out for lunch then a long dog walk, it just seemed as if we were back to normal, the 4 of us, DD and DS walking ahead with dog - then we left him again! That was weird, even though he is home tomorrow for dentist and staying overnight (but probs going out with local friends who not yet gone anywhere). After that, no idea when we will see him again.

His birthday is end Nov, I am already not looking forward to him not being here in the morning, not being able to put up birthday banners etc, I think that will be hard, I can understand how you felt this weekend Jaxxyj. His birthday is a Sunday, he has already talked about going out at uni on Saturday, so I think we will probably plan to do day trip on the day itself and go out for lunch again.

He seems to be settled, flatmates ok but made friends with flat above and 2 boys in a private halls, one on his course. The 3 of them seem to cook together a lot and watch Bake off etc in flat above.

He said course was hard, but he has always had to work hard and I am sure that will continue. He had agreed a labs swap fom Fri to Weds with a boy who had sports commitment Weds, which he was overjoyed with as he didn't like the Fri labs demonstrator at all and he knows the weds one is nicer. It also means he can come home Fri-Sat if he wants, whether he will is another question.

Phaedra I know just what you mean about the sudden transition. I have two older DS as well; however when they left home it was just to move within a few miles and not to university and they were in their early 20's.
DS3 going has been harder than I expected, I know it's only been just over a week but I feel like he's just been cut off from my life.
Saying that though, it must be really hard for parents whose DC's have struggled, my DS seems to be absolutely fine.
I still have my DD at home, she is 12. Though I must say I think she's getting fed up of me, just this morning she rolled her eyes and said 'moaning again' under the breath haha.

I'm feeling the wrench as well. I already had DS1 at uni but of course he was home for 3 months over summer. Then overnight they are both gone and an entire chapter of my life is over.

To put it all in perspective I have just seen on the news that a student from York has been found dead in the river after going out on a Saturday night. . So tragic, this seems to happen every year at some uni. DS says they were all warned to avoid the river on nights out.

Oh. Squirrills that's awful about the York drowning. That and the meningitis cases and worries about mental health of our dcs just haunt us, don't they. Driving home from dropping ds off I saw a headline in a Manchester paper at the service station saying 18 year old student found dead in hall room. I'm sorry about posting it on here really but where else can we say these things. Dh would just dismiss it. I'm grateful that we can express our worries on here and be listened to and understood.

Yes Dunlurking I thought twice about posting that, but as you say this is a thread where we can say the things that no one in RL will get. I think you are always more affected by tragedies that involve a child the same age or circumstances as your own. It would be wrong to pass these worry on to our DC, although I have done my best with the vaccinations and talks about safety on nights out.

Dd is at a Scottish uni hence the early start. On the plus side she'll be home at the end of May.

We are three weeks in now and DD still seems very settled. She was very sensible before she went and decided that it would be much easier for her to manage homesickness if she didn't come home at all in the first term and she seems to be doing well on that. We text a couple of times a day and talk a couple of times on the phone at weekends, or if she has anything particularly noteworthy to share.

A lot of people do seem to go home regularly at the weekend and she said that in her flat, those are the ones who have found it hardest to settle. I think she is a little baffled as to why they don't hang around to enjoy their weekends This weekend there was only her and another girl in their flat out of six of them, so it was a bit quiet. She said that it was nice to have a bit of downtime as when they are all there, they pretty much hang out together most of the time. So she caught up on FaceTime with some of her school friends, which was nice, and also did a lot of course work and cleaning!

We are going up for the weekend in two weeks time and she seems quite excited - has booked restaurants for the two nights we are there and somewhere for Sunday lunch. She is also keen for us to take her to one of the cocktail bars that she is desperate to go to but can't afford on her (largely self-imposed) budget.

Her course is going well and she has made good friends already. She is playing medsoc netball (the only fresher in the first team) and medsoc hockey. So training and matches for those and going to the gym, she is happy with her activity levels. She joined a few societies too, so is keen to see how they pan out.

I meant to add that I had a chat to DD about ways that the flat mates can all look out for each other just in case of illnesses (such as men.) and in case of alcohol poisoning.

She says that in her flat their bedroom doors can be opened from the communal corridor without a key, which was reassuring to me.

DS told us yesterday that the boy with meningitis at Nottingham was in his hall (floor below)! Everyone in his corridor is apparently on antibiotics as a precaution, plus anyone else shop came into close contact with him (not DS). He hadn't had the jab.......

Had a very long convo as a family last night which was lovely but it came on the back of his visit to best friends elsewhere which upset him a bit so I hope an hour or so of family banter didn't make him feel worse :(. It's clear he's drinking too much- he recognises this and realises the effects on the bank balance at the very least so hopefully that side of things will settle down.

He's worried about work - the big step up from A levels is apparent in terms of self learning, having to read around etc, but socially things seem ok and he's going to stand as first year rep for his subject society which I was very pleased to hear (clearly no hint of not wanting to stick it out!). I've got used to the new reality I think- will be interesting to see what happens after he comes home for reading week, and more importantly when he goes away again!

got DD1 to doctor on Friday who wouldnt prescribe as "its just viral". maybe she was right... put DD1 on train back this morning (lecture this pm) and she still felt quite shit. however 3 nights at home and TLC must have helped. still no news of flat swap - she'll be fine when that comes through, I hope, but when she calls at 9pm or later to say "I just wanted to TALK to someone" it's really hard. She likes her course, after initial reservations, loves the location but the flat brings her down every single time.

That's so sad. My ds' friend went to Nottingham last year and died at the start of her second term. I know this has affected how I feel underneath about my two going this September (DS had gap year), not completely but just awareness of how precious they still are even though they've turned 18.

I went to see DS at bath this weekend and just met for lunch. It was nice as he seemed really pleased we'd gone. Settling for in okay but has no lectures Monday Tuesday so lots of time to kill. He also said he was eating a lot of cheese and ham toasties! He said he was trying to eat fruit but struggling to fit veg in when cooking for one. Thought I'd email him a few simple suggestions for helping get at least some of his five a day in!!

My DS has been ringing me all weekend as he feels ill - very sore throat to the point where he says he is finding it difficult to eat/drink as swallowing is so painful, and a blistery rash came up on his legs (does not look like a meningitis type rash). He got an appointment with the nurse this morning, again, she said it was viral and took a throat swab, but would not prescribe anything: I am a bit sad as he says he feels very alone and ill (not helped by the fact he had to move room temporarily as there seems to be a blockage in his bathroom, so he not in his normal flat).

Part of me thinks he is just worrying because he had been sitting next to the girl who then became ill with meningitis, but he has sent pics of his throat and the rash, and he does look poorly.

I wondered if he should have been prescribed antibiotics as a precaution, but maybe the case at his uni has been proved to be viral.

I feel very helpless - I don't know if he asked the right questions or mentioned all the relevant info at the nurse appointment, he hasn't had much experience of going to GP as he is never ill at home (I cannot remember the last time he went to the Drs here).