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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

hi

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:
Peaceandl0ve · 04/10/2016 22:10

Sorry some are taking a while to settle. My DD is loving the partying but claims to be very tired and coldy. It is really hard to tell if she is coping with the academics, or even trying to cope with the academics. It is so hard to gauge, am seeing her this weekend, I hope she doesnt drop a bombshell and say she hates the course.

OhFuds · 04/10/2016 22:12

That's good your DS is settled just a pity about the mix up.

Is he at a Scottish uni ? (I'm guessing by your username).

EllenJanethickerknickers · 04/10/2016 22:41

That must be hard, OhFuds. You just want them to be happy, don't you?

NoHaudin, what a pain about the funding! I'm glad your DS isn't fazed by the lack of support so far. I hope you are wrong about the honeymoon period and that he's found his niche.

Granary, I'm glad Warwick don't do the whole Freshers' Week thing wholeheartedly and combine it with lectures. We did similar in my day. Considering they're paying so much in fees, a week or 2 without any learning seems an unnecessary luxury. Though the last Freshers' event seems to be in 2 weeks, at least they're having lectures as well.

I bought a few Freshers' events tickets for DS as his birthday present. I think it was a foam party last night! Shock

Leeds2 · 04/10/2016 22:54

I find it very interesting to read how different places do freshers. I think I should have read it last year!

Original poster
granarybeck · 04/10/2016 22:59

Yes Ellen DD said she enjoyed the foam party last night! Though think she was bit tired this morning. She's having a night off tonight then got something Thursday I think, possibly a course night out in Coventry!

OP posts:
dottygamekeeper · 04/10/2016 23:04

Oh,Fuds, it is difficult when they aren't sounding happy. So far, my two seem to be settling well socially, but it seems a bit early days to tell how the courses are actually going.

It was my DS's birthday yesterday (20th, as as he did a Foundation year before going off to uni) - I rang him and he sounded a bit distracted as he was working, but then he posted a picture of the roast dinner that his flatmates had made to celebrate his birthday, which I thought was a great idea. I sense that after 3 weeks, the partying is starting to calm down a bit, especially once they realise they have to be up for lectures the next day!

I was sad though that he hadn't got his birthday cards that the family had sent him (although he had got a parcel I sent) - however, today he discovered the cards had been put in their post box outside their block, rather than being held at Reception, where the parcels go.

I am amazed how little food I need to buy with both of them gone, and how little washing there is to do. DD has told me she now realises how much washing up 'snacking' makes and that if you eat all the food in the fridge it doesn't magicallly restock itself so you find yourself short of a meal the next day....

NoHaudinMaWheest · 04/10/2016 23:40

fuds it is really hard when they aren't happy. He is actually at a Welsh university. I am Scots but we have lived in sw england for a long time.

catch22squared · 05/10/2016 14:08

Texted Ds last night to say I hope he'd found more like-minded people and to let me know how he was when he had a moment. Obviously he hasn't had any such moment as yet!

My fear is that he is set against Durham because it's a small city and he really wanted to be in London. He didn't apply to London though, Durham was his first choice after Oxford, who turned him down. When he got his grades he wanted to take a year out and reapply to one of the London universities (despite Durham being arguably the best non-oxbridge place for history ). But he had no money whatsoever (he had refused point blank to work all summer) plus no plan and since we refused to fund it he had to accept the place. Now I'm sure that will come back to haunt us.

blueskyinmarch · 05/10/2016 15:45

Catch22 I think that was the very reason my DD was glad she missed Durham and had to go to Bristol because she realised it would be easier to find like minded people in a bigger uni. It was for that reason she also chose catered halls which has forced her to mix with people. She has quite quickly found a nice small group of friends who don't want to be out drinking all the time.

Squirrills · 05/10/2016 15:52

catch22squared Did he like it when he visited? Is he happy with the course? It's very early days and he has probably just not found the people and social life that suits him yet.
Durham does seem a bit marmite. People rave about it but both my DC really disliked the city and the university. DS1 went on the offer holder overnight stay and hated the place with a passion.

DS is absolutely full of cold, as are all the rest of his flat. He's managing to get to lectures then crawling into bed. Wishing I could give him a bit of TLC.

catch22squared · 05/10/2016 16:04

Squirrils only went to one open day and that was UCL which he didn't put down as an option. We offered to drive him up for the open day but he didn't want to. I think he was very sure he would get a place at Oxford and has been unhappy since he didn't get an offer from there. He firmed Durham and St Andrews, both small towns! Then he started saying he wasn't going and was taking a year out to reapply to Cambridge, thinking he'd get 3A, but when he (only!) got AAA he knew that was too much of a gamble and became very down about the whole thing. Apparently he was texting his gran to say he didn't want to go to Durham and we wouldn't 'let' him go to London. But, unwilling to work or make any plans for a year out either!

Bluesky I fear DS would have thought the same if he'd gone to visit.

Today was his first day in the history faculty though, so I'm hoping he's happier.

blueskyinmarch · 05/10/2016 16:29

Catch22. we actually live in St Andrews and DD realised during her last year at school that she was so over small towns and that there was literally nothing to to do in St Andrews. She feared that Durham would be the same and was actually relieved to not have met their offer! I am sure not many young people feel like that about their results! I and sure your DS will find his feet soon and find his like minded people!

catch22squared · 05/10/2016 17:13

Thanks Bluesky, it's great that your DD is working out what she wants and needs in life, that's a brilliant skill. DS is very anxious about stuff and has had a difficult time in life (he came to us 6 years ago) - I was so happy when he chose Durham because it's small and collegiate and I thought he would feel part of something. The course is fantastic, as is his accommodation. I'm really hoping for good news over the next few weeks as he settles in, but also half scared he will pack up, come home and retreat to his room for the next few months.. Sad

BennyTheBall · 05/10/2016 19:09

I have gone from worrying (before he left) that he would be homesick, not get on with flat mates, be unhappy etc to worrying about how much bloody socialising he is doing!

He is going out tonight and last night went to a gig until 4am.

I found myself asking how much he is spending, something I don't really want to do. He's got over £8k in his account which was money for his 18th and supposed to buy him a car when he needs it - I will be gutted if he dips into it and fritters it all away.

homebythesea · 05/10/2016 19:14

benny get him to put the £8k into an ISA pronto (assume he's 18?) and therefore out of temptation, with the benefit of tax free gains!

My DS texted earlier to report that he had his first "homework" and that the novelty of all the partying was wearing thin. This after he spent much of yesterday scooping up drink induced vomit from his bathroom floor. Students eh?!?!?!

Coconutty · 05/10/2016 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretSaffron · 05/10/2016 19:48

catch I hope he feels better once the course kicks in.

ds has just rung ! he is not usually very good on the phone but was quite chatty. Sounds as if he has settled in fairly well, he did sound tired though but they have had quite a full on programme. He starts his course proper tomorrow which he is looking forward to. He says he's made some friends in his hall and food is good.and not gone down with freshers flu yet!
I was so happy to hear from him Grin

BennyTheBall · 05/10/2016 19:49

An ISA - that is a very good idea.

Naughtytummy · 06/10/2016 10:19

Finally last night we had some communication with DS2. Was beginning to think I had the only child who didn't text home.
All going well, tired but happy.
I can breath again Smile

Squirrills · 06/10/2016 10:37

I think that in reality if they don't make contact it's because things are going well. We should hold on to that.
I've heard more from DS while he's been ill. Apparently in the lecture hall yesterday there was such a cacophony of coughs from poorly freshers sorry couldn't resist that the lecturer could barely be heard Grin

angieloumc · 06/10/2016 10:44

Yes I also think not hearing from them is a good sign. I text my DS it takes him ages to reply, though then says all is well and he's enjoying it.

lovelybangers · 06/10/2016 10:53

My DS messaged me once, but only because he needed something.

I suppose it's only been 4 days though Grin

I just sent him a quick text. No matter how independent they want to be I think it's always nice to know that someone's thinking of you.

Naughtytummy · 06/10/2016 11:35

Yes I know no news is good news but you start imagining all sorts!
He did want some advice on a refund he hadn't got, but I'm grateful for the contact we had Smile
His brother is equally uncommunicative, they don't take after their mother!

lovelybangers · 06/10/2016 12:48

Agree naughtytummy My imagination runs riot at times.

Last night I had a call from a number I didn't recognise. There was a voicemail but I couldn't hear it clearly.

I did call the number back -but no reply. I guess was a pocket call made by someone pressing random digits.

Of course I thought the worst straight away. DS has lost his phone/been in an accident - someone else is calling on his behalf?

Parents worry. Smile

angieloumc · 06/10/2016 15:06

They seem to have had a full timetable this week at Lancaster. Though on Saturday there is a trip to Blackpool Pleasure Beach and my DS won't be going at he doesn't like fair rides. So think he may have a quiet day.
I'm missing him terribly, I'm glad it's this way round though rather than him being very homesick.

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