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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 17:34

Well here's a bit of a bummer.

The freshers next door to me have damaged my property while being silly and 'partying' with friends. I've had to contact the landlord. Sigh. I know their parents are guarantors so they'll potentially be roped into the whole unnecessary debacle.

Just why? Why behave like that??

blueskyinmarch · 02/10/2016 17:38

DD2 has been away 2 weeks now. We had a Skype chat today and she and her hall mates are all full of the cold. Lots of her friends live fairly close to the uni and have gone home this weekend, but we are over 300 miles away. I think she is feeling mostly okay but missing home so she has decided to come home for the weekend in 2 weeks time. She can also see her best friend who is at a fairly local uni. It will be nice to see her for a little while.

Squirrills · 02/10/2016 17:47

Sluj yes I've just had a similar experience. After a week of brief WhatsApps he rang to ask whether we had packed xyz. I was so happy to hear his voice but held back from saying so. He's got a cold and was in a rush to get off the phone.
Sounds like freshers flu kicking in for several DC, just as they start lectures proper.

sluj · 02/10/2016 17:53

I'm glad it's not just me and DS then. I had forgotten freshers flu might be on its way.

More wine and Victoria /Poldark for me tonight x

BennyTheBall · 02/10/2016 17:58

I can't wait for freshers to be over. My ds seems to have spent a week sleeping and drinking.

hairymairyfromthedairy · 02/10/2016 19:54

secretsaffron I was very tearful for the first few days & like you it was odd things that set me off...I've been a bit better the last few days & managed a FaceTime call with ds yesterday without getting upset!

Coconutty · 02/10/2016 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

placeofworkshop · 02/10/2016 20:27

Checking in and seeing where everyones up to- good to hear about the settling in for some quite far upthread, Sally - yes it does seem too early for another big change - good luck there. My dd still strugling despite ( or because of?) weekend spent away with extended family. Unhappy again tonight . Week 3 begins tomorrow and it's still tearful phonecalls. Making us all sad.

placeofworkshop · 02/10/2016 20:41

Also makes me sad to think shes not coping without us. I thought we had brought up a confident independent young person. But it appears we havent done a good job at all

Ta1kinpeece · 02/10/2016 21:00

Spoke to DD today (first time in a week)
she is hoarse but utterly happy
time for me to drop the mike

SecretSaffron · 02/10/2016 21:05

placesorry you're DD is struggling. It is still such early days though. I was remembering today I was really,really homesick when I went to uni. Lots if tearful calls home etc. Lasted probably the first term from what I can remember. After that I remember we it as being one of the best times of my life! Give her tine and I'm sure she'll settle.
hairyYes, I think it is just going to take me a while to adjust. Glad you're feeling a bit better now.

Coconutty · 02/10/2016 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

placeofworkshop · 02/10/2016 22:13

Thanks , you are right,I know,and it is very early days. She misses all her friends, boyfriend, family and there are flatmates she likes but others not so much, they seem quite immature, just want to get drunk every night

clam · 02/10/2016 23:13

Both DCs are home this weekend (one a fresher and the other Yr 3) for a couple of major family functions, and they're both absolutely streaming with cold and flu symptoms. Not even sure if they'll be fit enough to travel back in the morning.

Phaedra11 · 03/10/2016 07:26

Place It is not your fault your DD feels uncomfortable with the flat mates that are getting drunk every night. In fact, it is probably credit to you that she is being true to herself and not behaving like an idiot and risking her health just to fit in. Also, she has a lovely life at home to miss. Not everyone is so lucky. A boyfriend to miss adds quite a bit to the emotional mix too. And there does seem to be a certain amount of luck involved in getting flat mates you can relate to.

I hope the benefits of uni life start to show themselves to your DD very soon. It is so difficult for us when they're sad. Also it leaves us worrying about them all the time. Meanwhile at any moment they might actually be having a great time but not actually sharing that with us!

As you probably remember I worried a lot about DS initially but I saw him this weekend and he is so much happier now. Bonding with new friends has made everything else seem better for him. Wishing your DD lots of positives that she will share with you soon!

placeofworkshop · 03/10/2016 07:46

Phaedra that meant a lot thank you

Northernlurker · 03/10/2016 07:54

Place my dd has been gone a month now (Dundee) and I think she has had a fair few homesick moments and she has met some lovely people in her flat and was well ready to go. Turns out we are a lovely family and she misses us ( who knew ) hang in there, it will get better.

Dunlurking · 03/10/2016 08:06

I'm so glad Warwick doesn't have a week (or 2) of Freshers' activities before their timetables kick in. Ds had Saturday night feeling horrible because he didn't want to party with drunk people he didn't know (yet) then met more people Sunday night at a hall do where they didn't all feel the need to get drunk and party and now he's straight into talks and tutorials for the course and feeling much happier. Freshers weeks have their dangers if you ask me!

Hope your dcs all settle in better in the next few weeks!

blueskyinmarch · 03/10/2016 08:41

I am now really glad DD is in catered halls rather than self catered flats because she has been able to cast her net wider to find friends who are like minded. She is not into getting drunk or partying either and has been able to sift through all the people and says she has a really close bond now with 3 other girls in her halls, as well as a wider group she can go out with if she feels like it.

She says she is missing her double bed, her en suite bathroom and the dog!

placeofworkshop · 03/10/2016 09:21

Like these reminders that missing home means home is a lovely, miss-able place

lovelybangers · 03/10/2016 09:28

Agree place It's nice that they know there is a comfortable welcoming home for them as well as their current digs.

First night without DS for us. Although it's not really the first night - he has been spending alternate weekends at his dad's for many years, has been away on loads of scouts, school trips etc. Plus we have left him home alone whilst we have been away on hols...

Today's task is to tackle his bedroom. I can give it a thorough clean and tidy.

Also need to find him a mattress protector which is long enough. I'd get him to try and measure the mattress he has, but I doubt any of them has a tape measure ? ha ha ooh - he might have a ruler though...

NoHaudinMaWheest · 03/10/2016 09:42

place I am sorry that you dd is finding it difficult. I remember feeling like a lost soul when I started university even though my family were in the same city. (That wasn't planned, my father's job moved just as I started there.) It did get better as I found people I got on with but it did take about a term to feel really comfortable.

Ds's classes start today. His course has a barbeque on the beach this evening which he has signed up for. He finds socialising really difficult so I am pleased he has.

SecretSaffron · 03/10/2016 12:04

I agree that the fresher's week.fortnight can be a long time with not much structured to do. I am also glad that ds only went on Saturday and his lectures start on Thursday - although there are lots of organised talks/activities etc before then that he has to attend - not much time to feel homesick which I think helps. I hope all those struggling will start feeling better once lectures etc start up.
DS messaged me again last night to say he has lectures on Saturdays Luckily he is very academic so hopefully wont mind too much!!
I am feeling better today. We have started on his room - we are actually decorating as it has needed doing for a while. Off to get a new carpet at the weekend!

yolofish · 03/10/2016 12:50

DD1 came home on Friday and went back last night so she could be at accom office 1st thing this morning. She had to fill in a form about where she would like to swap to - she put "with 1st years who are sociable"!! hope it works... she also thinks she has a chest infection, told her to go to doc but she worried about not being able to prove her address. Told her they will have seen it all before...
I think it's really tough on them, and pretty much the luck of the draw whether they land on their feet right at the beginning or not. Hope everyone else's babies are doing ok, especially those struggling.

hellsbells99 · 03/10/2016 12:56

DD1 had a new girl move in her flat at the weekend. Early reports are that she is very nice. The girl who moved out was only seen twice in 2 weeks as she spent all other time with existing friends at the uni.

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