A level Results - 18 days - anxiety rising....anyone else??

[Poppledopple]

Maybe because it is August tomorrow - but seems to have come round quickly. Had a nice break not thinking about anything since last exam and after full on year choosing, applying, getting rejected, getting offers etc....

Might as well switch off and try and get distracted for the next 18 days....as either way it will be v busy few days/weeks after results to get started on next phase of his life.

PFB -- any old hands out there want to give me a slap?

toffee I really feel for you. Could you ds's mood be something to do with disappointment? My ds got AAA but was expecting A in all subjects,( he didn't say so, but I know he was). He's quite flat today and I totally understand his disappointment despite the fact that they are fantastic grades.

My ds is having a planned gap year, although he only has definite things to do until end of January next year. I feel that he's in a much better bargaining position with those grades in the bag and can spend a little while thinking what to do. Could your ds do that? I suppose I've encouraged ds to do this because I went to uni through clearing to a place I didn't want to go to to do a degree I didn't really want to do.

We're your ds's subjects science based?

Thanks so much, bastards and zapper, for your advice. He is away till Monday so I am going to have calm words with him on his return. I think he will go to Durham because he doesn't really have any other option, wants our financial contribution and isn't at all proactive. This is the best outcome, I think, since Durham is a brilliant university (congrats to zapperDS on his place!)

There isn't anywhere else he wants to go except London. He is looking at the QS university tables and says London is 'better' than Durham for history. But I've looked into it and the QS tables seem more skewed to international research, as international researchers prefer to be in London. Durham rates higher for teaching quality.

He thinks both Durham and St. Andrews are too provincial and small for him whereas London is throbbing and glamorous.

I know he's an adult but really, he's a bit clueless! My concern is that he will do what we say because he knows he needs us to pay, then will resent us for not giving him the freedom to do what he wants (well he could do what he wanted if he got a job obviously).

Thanks waiting. Yes, it could be disappointment (like your DS he was predicted 3 A*) and, perhaps even more relevantly, he got an interview at Oxford but no offer. He was pretty devastated. It sounds ridiculous but DH and most of his family went to Cambridge and he was sure he was going to get in.

We have looked at train times and I have reassured him that we will pay his trainfare whenever he wants to come home.

It is perhaps more complicated because he is not our DS (a kinship adopted from the family) and has only been with us for 6 years, and they have not been easy years, so things are tricky sometimes.

Any update on those questioning low history results and when they'll hear?

No relevance to me, but just wondered how it's going and thinking of you all x

bacon she got in at half two which was early as she got a lift. Had to go to the shop for both of us this morning. I had to go to work and it was HARD!
Finally track updated at half ten with her Lincoln offer so that was a big relief!

toffee I would be encouraging a gap year too if he didn't want to go to the open day and still doesn't want to go, why did he even apply? Do Durham let you defer? If he ended up going there reluctantly there would be a high chance he would probably not turn up to lectures and then get thrown out and that would be a huge waste of £9K.

A year out would give him some breathing space. I know you said he wasn't inclined to get a job so maybe he would be better off going abroad volunteering - someone posted on another thread about the ICS which iirc mentioned they don't charge. It could be the making of him.

I do think you might be flogging a dead horse at least for this admissions cycle - the idea of change is really difficult for lots of youngsters and I wouldn't be at all surprised if your ds is actually underneath it all ,quite anxious about taking any next steps

Thanks for the congrats toffeenose. Thankfully, my ds seems very pleased with Durham, though he also missed out on some predicted A*s, and also was not offered a place at Oxford after interview. Sounds like your son and mine have some things in common, if not the way they feel about Durham!

Actually, I do rather agree with the view that maybe you should let him have his year out if he really feels he has made a mistake applying to provincia, places. I did something similar back in my day - opted to stay at home, got into my local uni, then decided I did not want to live at home for 4 years. I took a year out, redid some A levels, worked a bit, did a typing course which helped me get summer jobs later, and applied to different unis. Even then I didn't get the one I wanted, but I never regretted the original decision to turn down my home uni.

We all make mistakes. Maybe your son made one when he applied to Durham and St Andrews?

coconutty my ds had to accept his offer from Durham. See my post below.

toffee the Oxbridge connection sounds tricky. Not a problem for us 😀
The system is so unfortunate- the very public merit-based application process going on at exactly the same time as the exam results force a very personal self evaluation on our lovely kids.

My boy has had such a tough year and has done so well to get what he has but can't see any of that. The reason for his gap year is because at application time last year he was paralysed by indecision and doubt. I'm hoping that a year on he will be ok making these big choices.

Also, I'm sure your ds could have a shot at Oxbridge with those grades couldn't he?

There do seem to have been a lot of cock ups with the process this year.

DS had a congratulations email from the marketing dept at his insurance at 8:15 am yesterday but nothing on track until he contacted them around noon (he had already decided to withdraw anyway as I posted up thread).

My DS has done nothing to "accept" his offer. It was confirmed on track yesterday and he has had emails and post from them already. It was his first only choice - I'm now slightly paranoid something has been missed 😁

Don't be paranoid homebythesea it may just be Durham's system. I am on tenterhooks for ds to get some post from Durham and was looking on their website today to see what I could find out and it definitely states that they will send bumf within 7 days of receipt of the online acceptance form.

know he's an adult but really, he's a bit clueless!

Lol, I don't think you are the first parent of a teen boy to have thought this.

Toffee What a frustrating situation. Can you print out some information on accommodation costs in London plus some information on how much you are willing to contribute. Your son clearly isn't stupid and if he has the facts in front of him surely he has to see sense. I'd also come up with a written list of what support you will and won't provide him with if he takes a gap year along with what your expectations are (ie job, chores etc).

I think it would be risky to pressurise him in any way to go to Durham. He needs to make the decision himself.

DS1 didn't do anything to accept his offer from Manchester yesterday but he's received an email regarding accommodation today where he had to click an "accept" button.

It's a bit of a strange system!

My DS finally received his confirmation of offer through clearing to Kingston at 6.15pm tonight. Phew! Still no accommodation though, so I can't exactly relax yet. I am pretty worried about the accommodation in London and that we are so far away in Newcastle but I am over the moon for DS as he loved Kingston when he visited at Open Day but knew he probably would get the grades. Busied myself shopping from the student room shopping list for DS and DD, at least I could buy a whole dinner set and then split in half!

That's good news, jaxxyj! Could you link the shopping list, pretty please? I've been shopping with DS1 today and bought a few things but could do with some pointers.

It was on another thread called university what do they need to take here it is www.thestudentroom.co.uk/content.php?r=15855-what-to-take-to-university-checklist
There is a short and a long list depending on whether you are a worrier/ extreme planner (me and DD)or a laid back they will take too much and they can buy it when they get there ( probably my DS)!

Million thanks for your post. We do need to look at the finances together with him. He keeps saying that the LSE subsidise their rent throughout their degree. I don't know where he got this from but it doesn't sound true to me.

I know the decision to go has to come from him, but to my mind he's made a decision by doing nothing about anything else. It would be different if he had been to Durham and not liked it. The only open day he went to was LSE, they gave him an offer but he didn't choose to firm it - where is the sense in that!!

Coming late to the thread to say that ds got ABC. The C was a huge relief, but he'd hoped the A would be A* so is pleased and disappointed all at the same time. He isn't currently planning on university so nothing riding on the grades anyway, but at least he has some medium ish results in the bag if he changes his mind later.

Napoleonsnose - excellent! Congrats to your DD. My DD is doing joint honours ancient history with history. We both loved Reading for all sorts of reasons so it seemed crazy to take York (which we'd never visited) when she'd turned down offers from other RG unis for Reading. I hope your DD will be happy and successful there ...you never know, they may become friends!

Still nothing changed for DD, it's still coming up as "pending".
Totally cheesed off , I didn't realise this could happen.