New Uni starters 2015 (continued from Preparing for Uni)

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Thought we needed a new thread to continue from preparation.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2466997-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015-continues

Suspect all have arrived by now...

Dad seems to be coping well finance wise - but then she has a full grant as well as a loan. She also spent her A Levels years having a part time job so has some savings. Newcastle seems a pretty cheap place for going out and everything is walking distance. She went to the pics to see Spectre - cost her £2!!! (Mind you I don't know if she bought snacks too

As for washing -we don't have a tumble dryer here whereas she does there

Bit of a panic yesterday! Get txt at work - "I have a big problem". Luckily, Have a moment I can call from work.

He had overslept and missed a lab - results needed for an assignment.

First time he has done this, he is on track with all work so far - lots of it as he's doing Eng. He doe shave SEN for organisation and other issues. Uni and dept. aware.

My DS should not have overslept - has to learn from this.

So he called dept. who told him to contact tutor. He writes email - asking my advice on end of phone. Apologetic, asking for clarification on how he might proceed.

Reply, literally this:

sorry no, sleeping will not get you another lab session.

No addressing my son or leaving his name - one line, like a text.

This caused my Ds to feel anxious. He was off to his personal tutor - spoke to him about lots of relevant things but not this - embarrassed.

So I call and email enabling services who were very nice and have been an advocate on my DS's behalf.

Irony, Ds has social communication issues but professor was the one who was not clearly communicating. Five weeks in uni. Ds is not going to know consequences of his mistake and how he can rectify this - he thought he could fail course!

He has managed to get lab results from a fellow student so that he can finish task - he had done all the theory beforehand.

Overall, lots of positives - but a few struggles on way. Luckily, he talks to me when he feels worried so at least I can offer a bit of advice. Otherwise , the odd monosyllabic WhatsApp

Saw my dd for the first time since she went. So pleased to see that she is happy with her course and accommodation. And best of all, no lingering angst about not getting her firm. I think she realises now that it was possibly a blessing in disguise!

HocusUcas perhaps your dh could pass on his roastie making skills, they are a low cost bonus to any student meal. I don't think my dd is being very adventurous with her cooking. Jacket pototato and pasta seem to be the favourties.

Zetetic Love the broken boot 'emergency'

Well dd went back yesterday. It was so lovely having her here and much easier to say goodbye this time. We may see her again before Christmas, depends on how busy we all are.

hi all have been reading messages and I love the support that you are giving. my Ds has just started university. Unfortunately he had a seizure two days after starting and was commenced on anti epilepsy meds by A& E. He has still not registered with a gp at uni always saying he will do it tomorrow and its his health not mine and all I want to talk about is his epilepsy.
We have tried to get him to text every day even just a x to let us know he is ok. this is seen as molly coddling and interfering. he is quite emotionally volatile. how can I explain that we are all coming to terms with him leaving and having epilepsy, and that I may be able to back off if he takes some responsibility for his health needs.

Fairenuff - He did ! and very nice they were too. I shall be dragooning him into action on Christmas day.

DS came home for the weekend - despite his reservations and that hurtful e-mail, after which he realised what he had said and done and did kind of apologise.

I have just waved him off on the train and it was a lovely weekend, he stayed in with us the whole time so did a lot of chatting and just being together. I think it did us all good and he seemed really well, he has been seeing his doctor and had an appointment with a counsellor so it seems to be going much better now.

glitter sorry about your DS. Do you know if they university has it's own GP or is it offsite. DS's has one on site which is linked to a larger surgery and I think all the students register there so it is pretty easy. I just wondered whether the A&E asked for details to forward information about the medication to as he'll need somewhere to collect prescriptions from.

Sorry I haven't read over the thread recently so hope everyone and their DC are settling down now.

That must be such a worry glitter. It sounds very much as if he is having trouble coming to terms with his diagnosis too, hence his reluctance to register with a GP, volatility etc.

It's hard to know what to do when they are (technically) adults but won't act responsibly. I would guess that he should also update uni as presumably he had filled out any medical forms before he was diagnosed. Perhaps tell him it's not fair on his lecturers, classmates & roommates if they have to deal with a future seizure when he has kept it a secret?

Sorry to hear about your son's health problems glitter. He needs to register but it still doesn't prevent him from going to the university GP (he just has to fill out a form if he isn't registered). Sometimes it is easier to stay registered near home if they don't live too far away.

My dd registered with the university GP but struggled to get an appointment when she felt unwell with some dodgy symptoms at the beginning of term.

In the end she rang the NHS helpline who sent her straight to the hospital walk in centre for an immediate appointment! Luckily this was close to the university by taxi.

violets glad your DS got sorted out in the end and glitter it does sound difficult for you all to deal with.

Finally had a catch up with DS on Skype today. I am aware of a few really daft things he's done since starting (moral of the story don't tell DD1 anything because she will blab) so was glad to chat to him and see that he's still the same old DS. Managed to nag him into booking his train ticket home for Christmas but had to save my other nags for another time. He said everyone has settled down now and is getting on with work and he's really enjoying his course. It would be nice to see him for real but he's too far away to nip up there and a trip home would be expensive.

thanks all for your messages of support. The uni are aware of his seizures and have referred him to occupational health to see if he is able to go on his placement. his housemates are aware as he had a seizure in the kitchen and one of them dealt with it amazingly with the help of the binmen (long story) My worry is that he has only been seen once by a neurologist back in may, when he was told it was a one off. he has had a mri and eeg both of which are abnormal but no appointment with a neurologist despite two more seizures and A&E visits and these results. He can not be seen by his home neurology team as there are no appointments until march. his current gp are refusing to refer him to a neurologist nearer university saying that he must get a new gp.
I am really struggling as no one has actually told him that he has epilepsy or explained his results. he needs to talk to a specialist
I'm considering paying a hitman to kidnap him and take him to the doctors, and having him tagged so I now he's upright. in the meantime I constantly look at my phone hoping he's sent a text like a lovesick teenager.

Dear glitter,

My take on it is they are only half cooked as adults at 18/19 so I would go to uni and go with him to sign on at a doctors as his condition could be dangerous to him. I would be a pushy parent because actually he is needing guidance on how to keep safe as an adult.

I'm glad the university know about his health issues, it is important in case they need to administer first aid.

I SO understand need of texts, my Ds understandably thinks I'm clingy! I am ! Just trying to resist calling him - he calls when he is worried. So I only get the bad bits!! Through WhatsApp and to his sister, I see the fun over her shoulder looking at phone. he seems to be having mostly a nice time.

I worry sick as organisation and social confidence are issues for him left over from SEN earlier in school life. He is only just scraping by as an adult by himself in some areas. E.g. My DH found damp washing in his room that got caught up in his duvet cover. Unless DH insisted he go down and dry it, his clothes might have smelt!!

I just have to be patient that he will get there in the end: solid adult status

Dear Violets
Thanks for your message. Not sure if men ever make solid adults!.
Have just had a fairly sensible conversation with him nothing like a bit of Sunday afternoon boredom to make you want to speak to your mum.
He says he's going to see the doctor tomorrow. will keep you informed.

I hope your son is enjoying himself and am sure he will develop his organisational skills through experience and a few mistakes along the way. keep being strong and be grateful that they want to tell us their worries. perhaps it should be law for all 18 yr olds to contact parents once a day.

Glitter, so sorry to hear about your ds, my 15 year old dd was diagnosed with Epilepsy this year and so I have some insight into what you are going through.
It is far more common than I ever knew to develop epilepsy at this age.
does he know what type he has?
A couple of safety areas, does he know that he is very vulnerable if he had a seizure in water, ie better to shower than bath, if he goes swimming to let life guard know. Is he aware of if he can drink with his meds, my dd can't. Will lack of sleep have an impact. i was also talking about diet with my dds consultant and the link to Carbohydrates, we have made a big effort to reduce her carbs, definitely worth looking on the Epilepsy UK web site.

Did they explain that with epilepsy meds, you have to keep going back until you get to the right dose, my dd was diagnosed in Feb and we adjusted her medication yet again last week. If is definitely worth asking for an urgent referral to his nearest epilepsy specialist clinic.
Finally a potential side effect of my dds medication can be anger and depression.
May be worth posting on the health boards to get more advice as I am very much new to this.
Good luck for the doctors appt.

That's very frightening for you all glitter. It sounds like your ds is doing his best to keep going as normal. Good on him. Did he make the appointment today?

Coincidentally my ds has just informed me that he's been 'weirdly ill' for two weeks, suffering from exhaustion, stomach aches and hallucinations. On closer questioning he's not actually hallucinating but just extremely light-headed and woozy.(I'm guessing it may be after effects of glandular fever he had just before uni.) So he has decided he needs to see the GP.

Except he doesn't know which GP he is registered with. Their halls registered them all with a surgery on arrival but ds has lost the paperwork. He was under the impression that he could walk into any doctors surgery and they would tell him where he is registered. as if

So ds asks me to book him the appointment for him. (I point out I still need to know which surgery he's with. plonker )

So he then decides it can wait until Christmas and see the GP at home. I tell him it can't wait and to bloody find out who his GP is by asking someone.

So then he tells me I'm interfering and he can look after himself. Ha! ffs

Just to let you all know, ds has been to see his GP and they have increased his medication and referred him to a neurologist nearer to university. Unfortunately there may be a 5 month wait (just love the nhs) so we are running a book on who will see him first. you are right he is doing his best to carry on as normal and we are very proud of him for that.

Haffdonga hope your son is feeling better perhaps one of his mates in halls knows which gp he is registered with. Glad I'm not alone in being an interfering mother bite your tongue and let him know your happy to help if needed but you respect that he can do it himself. Ha! I find a large glass of wine helps.
Lala sorry to hear about your daughter hope you get her meds sorted soon.
have looked at the website its very good. Just need by ds to take it all on board, not easy I know.

Glad he has seen gp glittery
Ds had febrile seizures until he was 13 but thankfully no more. Opposite to the other posters as the type he has they grow out at puberty. I dont think he has signed up to a gp yet.

Oh that is good news that he has registered with a GP. Tbh I think that a GP who takes an interest in your condition is more useful than a consultant neurologist that you see once a year - in my experience (family with unusual condition )

Well done Glitter-son

Glitter, really feel for you.

Bobs, dd2 is also at Newcastle. Loves it so far...

goingmad yes I think Newcastle seems to have the best of all worlds - walking distance to everywhere, cheap to go out, she has a sink but no en-suite but only has to share the shower with 2 girls, her bf is just "down the road" at Durham where other friends are, and it's cheap to get to from other unis/friends - Leeds etc. And if she misses cheap trains there is always the Megabus.

She has joined the gym and is finding muscles she never thought she had

Of course there is also her work - she seems to have a lot, but "seems" to be going ok!

I think Newcastle sounds great. I know a few people studying there and they all live it.

We didn't visit when DS1 was doing his Grand Tour of Almost Every University in the UK, so I'm hoping DS2 will want to attend an Open Day so I can have a look!

And just when you think you can relax... "Mum, we've started looking for a house for next year" ....
I guess I should be grateful he is planning on a 2nd year!

Spoke to DS earlier. We are due to go and see him for the 1st time the weekend after next (so I won't have seen him for 8 weeks). As I didn't go to the open day with him and wasn't able to go with him when he started Uni, I have not seen the Uni or Halls of Residence. Mentioned to DS on the phone today that I was looking forward to seeing his room and he replied "no way are you coming anywhere near here. I'll meet you in town". But i just want to see where you live, I told him - I promise I won't wear white gloves and inspect for dirt and in any case you've still got a week and a half to tidy up But he is adamant that parents do not visit the halls (with the exception of arrivals day) and no way am I going anywhere near . He says that other students' parents have been to visit their offspring but they have met in town.
I'm not that embarrasing - honestly. I'm gutted.

poor old you bigbluebus. It's excruciating not seeing into every tiny detail of their lives. Enjoy the town!

We're going for lunch this Saturday. Missing not caring for him. Slowly trying to let go - but I well up when I think about it Had tears in my eyes at lunch just worrying about him. Luckily, my face was buried in a PC screen so no one saw.