How long before the first message requesting money

[bevelino]

I have 4 teens due to start uni over the next 3 years. All 4 are saying they can't wait to leave home and "live independently". DH and I know we will have to support them and humour the live independently talk. However, I have no idea how much it costs to keep them in food/ bills etc and must I expect regular phone calls home requesting money for this that and the other?

Loads of threads already but yes, unless they are entitled to the full loan + grant expect to have to fork out a lot. Most parents seem to either
Pay for the accommodation & the dc's live off their maintenance loan

Or

Use the maintenance loan to pay towards the accommodation costs (but you will probably need to pay the difference - for my dd the difference is £2300 approx) and then give a weekly/monthly amount for food, bills, going out. Amount varies depending on location & lifestyle! But reckon on 50-75 per week on average.

Obviously if your dc work part-time they may need less from you.

Decorhate thank you for your post and v helpful.

Well, the first thing they must do is to start saving now. They can only do that by working. So that's a priority.

Then you need to make sure you don't start off by giving the first one more money than you can actually afford to give each of them. They will have eyes like hawks for any discrepancies.

Then think positive - if they're independent, so are you!

I should add that my dd's accommodation proved more expensive per month than we envisaged as she was allocated catered as opposed to self-catered & the instalments are over 8 months.

Whether or not your dc can work whilst at school, (my dd couldn't due to voluntary work needed for personal statement), yes working in the holidays at least does help but again it depends on how easy it is to find work where you live & how the course is structured. I know my dd won't have every summer holiday off for example as she may be on placements.

It's even harder if you have more than one to pay for at the same time!

Call their bluff on the "live independently" and suggest taking a gap year (as opposed to gap "yah") prior to starting. Essentially fifteen months between A level exams finishing and uni course starting if entry deferred - so even with a bit of travelling they could have twelve months of working and earning. To make it properly worthwhile, both financially and from cv / future employer appeal perspectives, it probably needs to be a bit than any old minimum wage job; and of course there are a few degree courses where a gap year may be frowned upon - that is something that each of them should be researching.

The other point though is that Uni is not the only post 18 option. From a parental viewpoint though it can, as others have pointed out, start to mount up in terms of parental contribution especially if several DCs are at Uni at the same time.

Thanks everyone for all your helpful advice and my girls already know I am no fool when it comes to money and their requests. Their saving has already started and may long it continue!

Also worth researching the UNIs they are going to apply to re working, eg Warwick have many on campus jobs but I believe that St Andrews is quite tricky to get a job
Also worth looking at living costs at diff universities eg London expensive but can probably get part time work

I've visited several unis this year with my dd.
Here are my bits and bobs of knowledge. The cost of fairly close to the uni self catered rooms with showers vs much cheaper accommodation (at least 40 min walk) is at least £1.5K so there can be savings made there.
Each kitchen in self catered apartments had enough storage room in cupboards and fridges to store shopping bought. Most unis have bus service to town so that shopping I can see as normal activity as we all do at home.
At the moment if income of residential parent/s is over (I think) 42K then student can get £3.5K loan which gets added to the overall fees debt. You have to make the difference yourself and for 32 weeks as they are at uni you need to supplement them for accommodation, food and other expenses.
I think we need to find 9K on top of what she will get as her loan.
You need to have first term accommodation paid by mid September (or 10th) and that comes as surprise to some parents as it is lump sum. Maybe some unis spread it over 8 months.
I told my dd I expect her to work in year 2 the latest. I think if she gets the course she wants to she may even have time in first year - some STEM and medical courses forbid term time employment.

I think teaching her to cook at least 20 dishes she likes would help with her eating proper food. I think panacake making skill will go down very well in halls

Lalamum/antimatter thank you for your advice. All 4 of mine are keen to keep costs down etc, but I think as a family we have a steep learning curve ahead.

We're going to be paying approx £600 a month during term time. This is to top up his rent (min loan doesn't cover it) and for living expenses.

If he needs more, he will have to find a p/t job.

It an expensive business. Some universities request deposits up front for accommodation. Freshers week is expensive if they are out socialising and it costs to join various societies too, so they need a bit of extra money for the first week or so.

My advice would be to get them to save towards Freshers in advance.

Sorry, I meant 9K in total to pay for everything.
She looked at self-catering for 5.2K. I think that nearly 4K for 32 weeks for food and the rest is more than enough.

We paid all the rent for the first year of all 3 of our DDs. Then we paid most of the rent for the 2nd and 3rd years. Well DD3 is just starting 3rd year. We've only once been asked for money which was by DD2 in her 2nd year and it was the deposit b for a uni trip related to her course. Other than that they have all lived off of their maintenance loan.DD1 and 2 also had part time jobs.

I think mumeee's given me idea to do just that. We'll pay acvomodation and dd has to live off the loan. She can earn extra money if shd wants nice clothes and other stuff

We did that - paid rent and left DD to live off of the basic loan - she saved money! So it is enough but she doesn't go out drinking a lot - she goes out just not clubbing where the drinks can really add up.

DD3 isn't a big drinker and doesn't really like night clubs so doesn't spend loads of money. But she does go to the pub for a drink with friends and has meals out about once or twice a week.
Well she did but isn't doing that so often now.
Well she

DH looked up what the maximum grant/loan would be and is going to give DS the difference between that and what he is getting. However he has also had quite a generous gift of money from the ILs to "start him off" so he will be a bit better off than he technically needs to be. He's not a big spender at the best of times so he should be fine.

My DD1 spent more money eating out than in clubs. Some universities have a big cafe culture and lots of deli eating places. Groups of them would go out to cheap eat places too in the evening from 2nd year onwards. Lots of social gatherings (balls etc) but it depends on the character of your child and whether they want to join in with this type of event (lots do) and whether it is this type of university.

She had catered accommodation for Yr 1 and she loved not having to think about food other than snacks. It was actually one of the cheaper options at her university in that 6 shared a bathroom and a kitchenette. The room was decidedly unmodernised! She kept her shoes in the fireplace. The meals were worse than school dinners. However, dining together was great for making friends and not having to think about food, other than a few meals at the weekend, as well as all the new things to learn about and university life in general.

DD2 is in London and it is way more expensive! Lots of uncatered halls there are £8,000 pa plus. So start saving if your DDs are London bound! London and cheap do not go together!

Mine have had bits and bob of holiday jobs. DD1 was very career focussed and did everything to further her career which, unfornutely meant lots of unpaid volunteering and unpaid internships etc. She would not have achieved her goals without that. Whether they have time to work, or not, depends o the course. Plenty of uiversities are not so keen on students working because they expect a substantial amount of work to be done outside class. Also, everyone needs that 2:1 or better these days!