If families of children who don't get offered a place from Oxford or Cambridge want to come to terms with their disappointment with a "Oxford/Cambridge is crap" and a bolstering up of the uni that the DC will be going to, be it Durham, or Bristol, or manchester, then that is their prerogative. It's only a month after the offer/rejection letters came out, so a little licking of wounds is wholly understandable and acceptable....webwiz and the others posted in here for a little support - it IS the DURHAM thread remember - and it really isn't kind or helpful Molio to come on here to extol the virtues of Oxford.
As I've posted before I have 3 DCs , one went to Oxford, one went to Durham and graduated last year, having tried for Oxford, and the third is going to Durham this October (having started an application for Oxford last year but she pulled out after she was offered an interview for health reasons). She decided not to apply again this year, notwithstanding stellar grades at A2 across the board and despite unsolicited encouragement from the admissions officer she had spoken to the year before encouraging her to re-apply.
Yes DS found a lot of his cohort at Durham had applied to Oxbridge, particularly in his subject of PPE. But so too have many at other universities all over the country. But no, they did not sit licking their wounds and counting their UMS marks and telling interview anecdotes or wishing they were somewhere else. DS had a great time, couldn't conceive of being anywhere else, and has got a training contract at the City law firm he liked most. No more doors were opened to his friends at Oxbridge as far as he can tell.
Yes DD had a lovely time at Oxford...she's now working (on a little more than expenses only remuneration basis) at a small local theatre, supplemented by tutoring, because theatre production is what she wants to do, and Oxbridge doesn't open doors to that, though hard work and enthusiasm will I am sure get her nearer her dream.
I hope Molio's DCs who have now left Oxford have found what they want to do - I'm sure the jobs they have secured are down to them, their personalities, interests, skills and not just because Oxford opened doors to them....
And who knows about DD2? - in answer to Kitties and back on a Durham thread - she is a clever, popular, nice and kind girl who is nonetheless plagued with anxiety issues following five years of Chronic fatigue and part time schooling and all the rest that goes with this debilitating illness. She is exceptionally scared about the whole university thing - making friends, fitting in, keeping up with the work, coping with the work, staying well - and has nightmares about sitting alone in her room crying. THAT concerns me more than worrying that doors won't be opening to her in future because she did not feel strong enough to cope with even the application process to Oxbridge.