First year uni
conno7761 · 26/11/2014 19:54
Son (high achiever 3A*A levels) struggling with first term @ prestigious uni -states coping with work , not homesick but not sure its the correct course for him.Not sure what he should do.I have advised him student services /personal tutor. He is 200 miles away and obv upset - any thoughts- have reassured him we will support his decision but it does need to be his choice.If leaves course what next ?
JeanneDeMontbaston · 26/11/2014 20:36
If he leaves the course, he could reapply elsewhere (without guarantees) or he could reapply for another course at the same place (again without guarantees). Or, he could decide university isn't for him right now. Under the current system, he is allowed to apply for four year of loans, so he could still manage another three years if he started again, though of course he'd owe more at the end.
Thing is, it's really hard to start over. Do you know why he's upset, exactly? Or what the problems are? I know it's his life and of course you're right it must be his decision. But sometimes things are easily solved and/or nothing like as bleak as they seem in the first term.
It's right for him to go to student services and his tutor. But depending on the issue, there might be other sources of support too. Or it might just help him to know if his issue sounds really common and one that people often encounter - because having the reassurance that other people got past whatever it is can help so much!
Nocturne123 · 26/11/2014 20:49
Will he be home for christmas ? If so it would be a good time for you to speak to him face to face and find out what's really wrong .
This happened to my brother who was studying medicine at Oxford and was very unhappy . He stopped after one term .
He is now studying medicine elsewhere and is very happy .
Good luck to your ds I hope he finds out what is best for him . Must be tough for you to hear that he's unhappy though
senua · 26/11/2014 21:03
If he completes Year 1 at this University with a decent-enough grade then he might be able to transfer to do Years 2 & 3 at a different University - would that appeal? Or stay at the same University but change course (again, you need the Year 1 grades).
conno7761 · 26/11/2014 21:15
He insists its just the course he is unhappy with(Physics) but no idea what else he would do. Has a pre planned visit home this weekend when we will discuss further but he sounds lost.
nooddsocksforme · 26/11/2014 22:20
my son went off in sept 13 to do electronic engineering. we were devastated when he told us at christmas that he hated his course, and it wasnt what he had expected. he spoke to his tutor who told him it was better to give up sooner rather than later , and so he didnt return. Q much worrying and a horrible couple of months. He rushed in a re-application to uni in Jan 14 and started accountancy in Sept -at a uni where he can stay at home.He is much happier, and the whole experience and the extra years maturity has really taught him a lot-and i think he will do much better as a result of it. He has been working over the year, and this has given him more confidence , more money and he is more organised than he ever was before.
It was the right decision, altho very difficult to deal with at the time
UptheChimney · 27/11/2014 11:44
Personal tutor, Student Counselling, student union Welfare Office.
On repeat ...
UptheChimney · 27/11/2014 11:47
And good luck! I hope he comes to some sort of happier place.
He might simply need to grow up a bit -- a period of leave of absence might help?
It may be that his Personal Tutor can talk him through the rest of the year, and then the rest of the course. Sometimes students don't do their research fully enough & don't know about the structure of their degree overall.
Or his Personal Tutor could help him identify what specifically he is not engaging with in his course.
Or is it that he was a big fish in a small pond at school, and now he's one of a much larger group of bright high achievers? I've noticed this can hit boys in a way they don't expect (girls tend to learn far earlier about woman's place in this world cynical feminist )
JellicleCat · 27/11/2014 15:59
DD failed her first year exams and then admitted that she did not enjoy the course and found it difficult. However she loved being a student and the uni and city she was living in.
She decided to take her re-sits but try to move to completely different course (science to arts) at the same uni. Fortunately she had the entry qualifications for this course. After a nail-biting wait her transfer was accepted and she has started again in first year. She seems a lot happier and got an A in her first essay. One of her flat-mates has changed course and uni after first year.
I think sometimes they get so caught up with having to decide what course to do that they don't think it through properly. And once the application is in and they are working for A levels it can be hard to reconsider. If it is really the subject he doesn't like, does he know what he would like to do instead? It's better he changes now than gets to his final year and ends up with a mediocre result (or worse) because he hasn't enjoyed his subject.
conno7761 · 27/11/2014 21:07
Thanks to all -he has made appointments with tutor etc but is still in a state.Main problem is he has been so focused at getting on this course the disappointment is immense and he really doesn't know what else he would like to do.He has said he feels a bit better in himself for talking about it - I think it took him a massive amount of courage to face up to this.
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