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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Drinking culture at university. Is it a big problem?

93 replies

Littleham · 18/09/2014 15:10

Is it true that there is a massive amount of drinking at university?

If the social life revolves around drinking / clubbing, do students who are not that way inclined get marginalised?

OP posts:

SecretSquirrels · 01/01/2015 22:36

Milly Nothing to do with cheap campus beer. They pre load on supermarket drink and then go out to the city.
I remembered this thread after reading the drunken 15 year old thread on teenagers.
I have asked him why he thinks they all go mad - I wondered whether it was because they had strict parents and were rebelling? Or whether they were city kids used to lively nightlife. The people in his flat are a mixed bunch. Four overseas students and several who have been at boarding school. All but one of them seem to have wealthy families and large funds but no obvious reason why they should drink to oblivion nightly.

Yes he doesn't mind not joining in. He has arranged a house share next year with some like minded people.

MillyMollyMama · 01/01/2015 23:46

Large funds - this means they can afford it! It would make an interesting study to see why such a change takes place, though. I am glad your DS has found sensible friends, Secret. My friend's DN, chose a hall of residence in Bristol specifically because it was near the clubs. It is a new hall and will probably be full of like minded students. I think students do find friends like them and often the drinkers calm down after the first year. Or even sooner if exams that count are looming. My DD just left them behind and found people who wanted to go out occasionally to celebrate birthdays, but they did not drink a huge amount having bought it from the supermarkets first. She says quite a lot did do this though. My DD went to boarding school but prefers to spend money on clothes and meals in restaurants and coffee shops! On balance, that is preferable.

Cerisier · 02/01/2015 06:24

DD has drunk more during the Christmas holiday than she did all term. She says it is because house parties and the bars she goes to with friends at home are really nice and nobody gets really drunk but they all have a good time. Drinking supermarket spirits in hall and going out to seedy streets and nightclubs at uni and people being ill as they've drunk too much doesn't appeal to her.

Poisonwoodlife · 02/01/2015 12:07

I think that many students choose universities like Nottingham, Leeds and Bristol precisely for the nightlife and clubs. DD ended up choosing between a uni in a city and one in a much quieter town and knowing the sort of peers that were choosing the city was one of the factors that swung the decision for her. Her flatmates all tend to be from small town backgrounds /overseas and their nightlife is, for them, quite wild but it really is nothing to the mass binge drinking in clubs by the crowds who were off to Malia and Magaluf in the summer, and are now competing to be *'s Fittest Fresher, and that suits her just fine

UptheChimney · 02/01/2015 12:35

Just musing, but most people on MN are concerned that their student child will pal up with boozers, but does any MN parent admit to having a boozy student?

I really have to laugh at this. Most parents on MN probably do, but they don't know it. And nor should they. Our "children" are actually young adults & deserve some privacy. I have learnt to keep my questions in my head with my DS!

Kez100 · 02/01/2015 13:07

I don't have a boozy student - although I wouldn't mind if she was!

The MN parents on here weren't concerned about their student child mixing with boozers but concerned as to whether they would be marginalised or not make friends (especially during Freshers) because they don't drink. Actually, I think that can be a problem as at some Universities almost all the main Fresher events are clubbing based. The student groups didn't start until the end of Freshers, in my DDs case. Drink is - for many - the driving force of week 1/2.

However, one term in, and everything has settled. They have all made friends now and drink is mainly irrelevant. Be they boozers or non-boozers, they have got to know each other for themselves and I'm sure they know who they get on with - and who they don't.

polkadottyme · 02/01/2015 14:03

May I crash this thread. I was too one of those mums worried about my child not into drinking but may end up marginalised. Yesterday I was having a casual chat with a bunch of uni students when I was at work, I'm in retail, it give me a new insight, I think drink might not be my biggest fear but drugs. Weed, different names of tablets that mess with their heads etc is pretty rampant in campus with the students I spoke to say it was hard to get use to accepting the drug culture if you came from a small quiet town. Have to get use to the smell of weed as one person put it. They mention that many succumbing to trying it as a laugh and then going on to try other stuff. Then there's those that end up dealing as its easy money to make on the side with student population, good demand. I was so shocked they were so open about it and spoke as though it was a normal way of life. I've obviously have been living under a rock wish I could have unheard what was said. Does any other mumsnetter hear this sort of goings on from their ds/dd or they just keep quite about it knowing it would worry us if they mention it.

Kez100 · 02/01/2015 15:18

My DS talks about it - but he is still at home and goes to a 6th form college. Both DS and DD have friends who smoked weed at a very young age (pre-Uni) and we live in a small rural town.

DD hasn't mentioned it in respect of Uni and I've not pressed her as I like to think, as UTC suggests, they have some "privacy" in their new life but I think she would join in the general conversations we have had if she had encountered this as she was always open talking previously when her friends were smoking, and she hasn't mentioned it as an issue.

SecretSquirrels · 02/01/2015 18:10

UptheChimney The reason I asked DS what he thought motivated his friends was because he was going on about it. I was not invading his privacy and I do know my own DC warts and all.
Actually I think it wouldn't do him any harm to chill out a bit more but I wouldn't tell him that.

GraysAnalogy · 02/01/2015 18:14

It's so diverse. I never felt any pressure to drink at all. But when I did, there was places to go.

GraysAnalogy · 02/01/2015 18:16

Freshers is the time when a vast majority will let their hair down but then it's business as usual.

There is a lot of weed smoking.

polkadottyme · 02/01/2015 20:56

Kez & Gray's I think I'm just going to have to be a bit more blinkered and trust my dd will make sensible decisions she's will no longer be a kid I have to accept its part of growing up shes going to have see things and put up with uncomfortable situations. I was asking her about drugs at school she goes to a big secondary academy and she was saying weed at school is very common parents sharing joint with the older kids is like smoking fags in their minds. What is the world coming to

polkadottyme · 02/01/2015 21:01

By the ways everyone sorry I hijacked the thread I wasn't really talking about the problem with drink sent the thread off on a tangent. Can get back to normal now. I think I got over my initial shock.

GraysAnalogy · 02/01/2015 21:35

polka it's understandably hard for you but drinking and all the rest comes as part of life. Least at university it's a more closed environment and there is an awful lot of support for students if anything happens. You sound really clued up try not to worry and just make sure she knows she can talk to you

Original poster

Littleham · 06/01/2015 09:48

I started the thread as my dd1 is a non drinker and I was really worried she would be marginalised at Bristol.

Really pleased to say that this has not been the case (perhaps a bit in Fresher's Week, but that was the only tricky week). She has joined societies and made friends. Some of them drink and many do not (the very well off students do seem to drink a bit more).

She says she hasn't met one nasty person so far.

OP posts:

Fortysix · 10/02/2015 16:18

Bit late for many 2015 non- drinkers out there but good to know for 2016
St Andrews

Kez100 · 10/02/2015 19:01

Since the return after Christmas there seems to be a lot of cheaper socialising going on and my DD is going out a lot more. Meals out at Wetherspoons, Union nights to watch the rugby, flat get togethers and cinema outings.

The falling over drunk 5 nights a week seems to have subsided. Whether that be due to money, work levels, common sense (or a combination) things do seem to have settled including firey relationships too. I do believe I smell a scent of budgeting!

skylark2 · 11/02/2015 11:33

I think the other thing is that now they've found people who they have things in common with, so they can do those things together. Going out drinking is an easy default activity when you've been thrown together with random flatmates and don't necessarily share interests in music, sports, movies, TV and so on. Once you've met three other Gilmore Girls fans, you're much more likely to say "let's have an evening in watching episodes".

There was a lot of weed smoking, which worried DD as she is an athlete who could be drug tested at random. The smokers agreed not to smoke it in the common room when she asked them (and have stuck to it - they all seem to get on pretty well).

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