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Original poster

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 3

999 replies

mrsrhodgilbert · 28/11/2013 15:33

The comment about where they now live and consider to be home is interesting. If dd doesn't go back to until the end of January she will only have just over two months until the Easter holidays. She will actually come home on my 50th birthday and we are all going away for a few days. After Easter she then has about another 4 or 5 weeks left, possibly with a few exams after that.

That sounds like no time at all and then she will be back for the summer, hopefully with a job again. If some dc consider they have left home, do they not come back for the holidays?

I'm hearing from her much less and she seems quite busy with work. I'm not sure she feels she has many friends yet and it seems quite fluid still, but she is definitely calmer. She has a few pre Christmas things lined up, ice skating, panto, club parties, lunch out etc so I hope some friendships will be cemented. Still no plans for a house for year two but ive tried to tell her not to panic about that. Some people who were sorted a few weeks ago might not be any more.

OP posts:
madeofkent · 03/02/2014 11:47

No, it's very common. My nephew too was very popular at school and he too had a miserable first year. His second was far better.

We took DS back to his flat yesterday, as a mother it was dreadful to see him hobbling up and down stairs and having problems on cobbled roads when we took him to lunch, but I made myself remember having had exactly the same problems with my knee a couple of years ago and still having to cope with housework/strenuous holidays/shopping.

The flat was so quiet and empty though. No longer party central and his old friendly gambling flatmate has been replaced by a silent chinese boy. I'm hoping that they may bond over cooking at least.

No lectures until tomorrow, he says he will be interested to see how many students return. Last semester a couple of students only turned up a couple of times. One after a whole month had passed. When he entered the room and announced his name, all of them applauded - he turned round and exited.

madeofkent · 03/02/2014 11:49

And this morning was dreadful! I was fine yesterday, but this morning - no-one to discuss the news with over breakfast. I got very weepy. DBH is very silent and invisible in the mornings. I foresee many lonely mornings ahead. I need a breakfast club.

Notsoskinnyminny · 03/02/2014 18:27

Made have some Thanks, weekday pre-u mornings were always so rushed and consisted of conversations nagging through bedroom doors and at the weekend neither of them surfaced before 1pm when I decided it was late enough to be in bed so mornings are now pleasurable but in my SAHM days a group of us used to meet at IKEA after we'd dropped DCs at school and take advantage of the 99p breakfast and unlimited top ups of coffee rather than go back to an empty house without the incessant chatter of little ones.

Smug mummy alert - DD got her exam results and scored 93% in her written language exam and 98% in her speaking one - she thinks she lost the 2% for using teenage slang as her lecturer (a native speaker) asked what a couple of words meant.

madeofkent · 03/02/2014 18:55

That's excellent! You must all feel so relieved. I'm afraid we still don't know, DS assumed that the results would be emailed or posted to him, but he has to go in tomorrow and register and they will be given to him as he checks in. I had better remind him to do that, he is so forgetful. He is quite an early riser for a teen, otherwise I would never have got into the habit of having breakfast with him in the first place.

MABS · 04/02/2014 15:43

Dd had her drink spiked and her phone stolen at 2am today :( on her 19th birthday :(

Milliways · 04/02/2014 15:58

Aw Mabs, that is horrible :(
Hope your DD is ok and has reported it.

MABS · 04/02/2014 16:08

thanks Milliways, she is bit better now, I felt so useless so far away, but her friends there were great . yes police told .

noddyholder · 04/02/2014 16:29

OMG Mabs so sorry for her and you. Is she ok?

goinggetstough · 04/02/2014 16:50

Mabs thinking of you and your DD.

MABS · 04/02/2014 17:27

she is much brighter now thanks - but hideous day x

Notsoskinnyminny · 04/02/2014 18:24

MABS that's horrible, glad her friends are looking after her.

madeofkent · 04/02/2014 18:57

Oh no Mabs Sad That's so horrible, the poor girl, and all of you. What a way to have to remember your birthday.

MABS · 05/02/2014 07:37

I know :( not an ideal birthday x

mumeeee · 05/02/2014 11:13

Sorry about you DD MABS. Glad that her friends looked after her. Hope she's feeling better now.

fussychica · 05/02/2014 13:04

Bloody horrible people!

Hugs to all the DCs who are still having a rotten time.

Missing my DS lots - it's probably worse at the moment as I'm not sure when he'll return from FranceSad. He's having a ball so I mustn't complain.

MABS · 05/02/2014 14:00

thanks all, police coming to see her about it this afternoon :( she bit stressed

minsmum · 05/02/2014 18:14

Mabs so sorry to hear that. Thank heaven's her friends are looking after her. Who is looking after you because you are probably in shock and it's awful not being able to hug them.

MABS · 08/02/2014 10:30

thanks minsmum.

minsmum · 09/02/2014 23:03

Just had dd on the phone in floods of tears because her and the boyfriend have just split up. It's her first proper boyfriend and she is heartbroken.

mumeeee · 10/02/2014 23:53

Sorry to hear that Minsmum. Hope your DD is feeling a bit better today.

madeofkent · 11/02/2014 11:14

How sad - and you can't even give her a real hug. I have had to watch DS's two best friends break up via FB, and it's so very sad to see. You know from your own experience that long-distance relationships rarely last but even so, when you see two people who are so happy together, you always hope. I now understand why the poor boy went camping up a mountainside on his own for a week! Girls weep all over their friends, boys go camping up mountains or go white-water rafting (BiL) or something.

MABS · 11/02/2014 19:47

So very sorry to read that

minsmum · 11/02/2014 21:30

Made you are so right her friends have been feeding her chocolate and watching funny films with her. She said she is trying to fill all her spare time. It didn't go down well when I said she might try studying. She is feeling a bit better today as she has been talking to her best friend who is at a different university. I wouldn't want to be that age again.

funnyperson · 13/02/2014 05:41

Feeling sad. DS came home on tues night (turned up at nearly midnight) when I was in bed and left before I got back from work. Hadn't seen him since Christmas. Didn't get a chance to chat other than he has lost his passport.
Wish I could get used to them leaving home.
Nightmare about the spiked drink and stolen phone. The 2 events together imply a malicious and scary intent and unfortunately seems a common occurrence.

mumeeee · 13/02/2014 10:49

I know how you feel funnypersona. DD3 came home for 3 weeks at Christmas and went back on 11th January, She's not planning to come home again until Easter.