Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 3

999 replies

mrsrhodgilbert · 28/11/2013 15:33

The comment about where they now live and consider to be home is interesting. If dd doesn't go back to until the end of January she will only have just over two months until the Easter holidays. She will actually come home on my 50th birthday and we are all going away for a few days. After Easter she then has about another 4 or 5 weeks left, possibly with a few exams after that.

That sounds like no time at all and then she will be back for the summer, hopefully with a job again. If some dc consider they have left home, do they not come back for the holidays?

I'm hearing from her much less and she seems quite busy with work. I'm not sure she feels she has many friends yet and it seems quite fluid still, but she is definitely calmer. She has a few pre Christmas things lined up, ice skating, panto, club parties, lunch out etc so I hope some friendships will be cemented. Still no plans for a house for year two but ive tried to tell her not to panic about that. Some people who were sorted a few weeks ago might not be any more.

OP posts:
Notsoskinnyminny · 12/12/2014 18:32

I'm picking DD up on Sunday as she wanted a few days to do some coursework before coming home. She's decided to decline the scholarship she'd been offered to study in Japan for 3 wks in February Shock as her workload's really heavy and she doesn't want to fall behind. Our phonecall was like role reversal with me saying its a fantastic opportunity, followed by you can go here, do this, meet up with x etc and her saying this year counts towards my degree I don't want to f*ck it up when I can do all that stuff when I'm there next year. My baby's grown up!

hattymattie · 12/12/2014 19:13

Needmore - DD stopped off for the weekend with friends at LSE and Imperial before making her way home. She did spot of Christmas shopping on Oxford StreetSmile.

Isthiscorrect · 13/12/2014 05:50

Oh yes I agree about all the friends stopping off in London en route. Ds is apparently too busy hosting various friends this weekend to come home until Monday. doesn't he know I'm desperately waiting to see him. stamps foot impatiently.

traceyinrosso70 · 13/12/2014 07:56

Can't wait to get DD home on Monday now Smile - she's regretting booking her train for Monday now though because everyone said they were staying until mon/tues but she thinks she'll be the only one left on Sunday evening - oh well, soon home now!

madeinkent · 13/12/2014 13:04

We were thinking of driving all the way to see DS to take him out to lunch on Monday, but he has to be at the film showings of all the students he has written music for and might not be able to fit us in. DBH refused to go over today because he says that Cambridge on a Saturday before xmas is not his idea of fun. He does have a point. But I am beginning to really want to see him. Also he refused to pack a woolly hat when he went, saying he wouldn't need it, but now he is wishing he had. He won't boy one since he already owns so many, I suppose we could always go over to do some shopping anyway and pop it through his door. At least he isn't right by the river anymore.

Medge68 · 14/12/2014 08:38

DD coming home today Xmas Wink- well this evening, train gets in about 6.30, why she couldn't get an earlier one I don't know- although I suspect it's because it would involve getting up before noonConfused hope everyone has a lovely Christmas with their DC x

mumeeee · 14/12/2014 14:21

Medge68. DD3 isn't coming home until next Sunday and her train doesn't get in until 12.20am, It was much cheaper for her to book the late train.

cricketballs · 14/12/2014 22:27

DS came home yesterday - god job DH went in the van to get him given the amount of stuff he brought home mainly washing!. He is loving uni, but was desperate for a 'proper' take away last night and then demanded proper mash and gravy with the roast today! Didn't realise how much DS2 was missing him until he started counting down the days until he came home (even refused to go to a xmas party so he would be home when he got back)

Medge68 · 15/12/2014 07:18

Ooh mumeeee, that's a late one!! Turns out the boys in her house cooked a Christmas dinner Saturday and it was the girls job to clear up, which took most of Sunday morning! - hence a later train Grin lovely to have her home though, although she disappeared to her besties after about 2 hours of being home.

Doilooklikeatourist · 15/12/2014 07:40

DS made it home on Tuesday

He left before the exams ( didn't have to take any , as he passed them last year )

We live very rurally too , I don't worry as much about him going out whilst at uni in London as I do when he goes out here in our nearest town
He's insured to drive DH car , and I worry about him driving in the dark ( and in the summer , in the rain , on icy roads etc ! )

He came home by National Express coach , it's easier to get to Victoria than Paddington , and it only costs £9 for a single if booked in advance !
He's home for nearly a month , going back on about 9 th Jan

SecretSquirrels · 15/12/2014 09:49

DS has been home over a week. It feels the same as before he went which is good. He has exams in January so is working quite a bit and goes back the first weekend in January.

Doilooklikeatourist Yes the driving home late at night is bad enough but now on icy roads as well. He is used to country road driving but it is statistically far more dangerous than urban or motorway driving. His girlfriend lives in a village 15 miles away, all windy country roads.

cricketballs How old is your DS2? Mine is 16 and while I knew he was missing his brother a week before he came home he said he was really, really missing him. Actually they have spent much more time together than usual, going swimming, shopping etc.

fussychica · 15/12/2014 14:46

Just dropped DS at Heathrow for his flight to US. After only 48 hours at home we won't see him again until Jan 4thSad. Hoping he has a great Christmas & NY across the pond - means ours will be VERY quiet.

SecretSquirrels · 15/12/2014 15:15

fussychica Aww that's tough for you. Is he staying with family there?

hattymattie · 15/12/2014 16:39

aww fussy - can I'm dreading this. Can you not go away yourself?

fussychica · 15/12/2014 19:14

No he's staying with his girlfriend - met her last year whilst working in France on his year abroad. She's lovely and I'll be very happy if they stay together. Her being American makes it very tough though - so much easier if she'd been European, immigration wise.

We decided to stay at home as having a new kitchen fitted - starting tomorrow!

madeinkent · 15/12/2014 22:18

We did make the trek over to see DS today, as he won't be home until next Monday - there's the showing of the film he wrote the music for on the Friday night and then a party on the Saturday night, plus a final piece of coding work to hand in, and he reckons he will need the Sunday to recover and pack up his computer and music stuff, as he will then be at home until the end of January. It's interesting to see how the unis vary, he only has two terms a year.

It was so lovely to see him, but I got a bit of a shock as he has only gone and grown again. I can't keep up with all the new jeans and trousers I have to keep buying him. He couldn't afford to keep up, that's for sure. It's getting harder and harder to reach up and give him a hug. He was very grateful for the hat and gloves we took over with us, he hasn't earnt as much this term so was too cautious to go out and spend anything on new ones as he wanted to buy xmas presents.

We parted ways at the common after taking him to Wagamama, and we went one way and he went across, and it felt so sad to see him wandering off in the dark all by himself, being unable to scoop him up and take him home.

We asked what he would really like as a home-coming meal, and were literally speechless when he asked for courgettes stuffed with mince and coated in cheese sauce. The last thing either of us had expected. For a start I haven't made it for years!

SecretSquirrels · 16/12/2014 09:54

madeinkent He sounds as though he is very settled. He is still growing? Has he got skinnier? DS was an early starter and was 6'2" at 13 but hasn't really grown since. He has, however lost quite a bit of weight in his first term and he didn't have any to spare. I am trying to feed him up.

Those uni terms are very varied aren't they? DS has 3 x 10 week terms. His GF won't be home until the weekend when he is half way through his break.

Original poster
mrsrhodgilbert · 17/12/2014 14:36

Hello all, just wanted to wish all of you who remember me a very Hapoy Christmas. Dd1 has finished her first term of commuting to uni and it has gone smoothly. She is much happier than last year in halls and is putting on weight again. She has two jobs going over the holidays plus an assignment and an exam to work for so she'll be very busy. Dd2 is holding four offers for next year, still waiting for Durham. Can't quite believe she will be going so soon.

Health wise I'm doing well, recovered from the surgery and radiotherapy. The mind takes a bit longer to heal but I think I'm doing ok. Lovely to see so many familiar names. Have fun everyone, I intend to.

OP posts:
fussychica · 17/12/2014 15:27

Great to hear that you are doing so well mrsrhod and that your dd is having a much better time this year. Hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas and a happy & healthy NY to all.

SecretSquirrels · 17/12/2014 16:35

Good to hear Mrsrhod Flowers

Notsoskinnyminny · 17/12/2014 18:30

That's brilliant news mrsrhod for you and DD, thank goodness both our girls got there in the end. Best wishes to all of you and good luck to DD2, is she staying at home or has last year not put her off halls?

mumeeee · 17/12/2014 22:37

That's great news mrsrhod. Glad your DD is much happier now and that you are well.

madeinkent · 17/12/2014 23:17

Hello mrsrhod! I'm so glad things are going well for you. May it continue.

DS was 6'1" when he went off to uni last year, he must be 6'3" now. I thought he was a bit taller last year when his dinner suit looked a bit shorter, now he says his navy blue suit is a bit short too and the jeans he was wearing were only just long enough. Into 34 length then. I had only just got him well stocked up with a nice selection of 32"s. I feel quite annoyed! Tall and slim, he is only a 32" waist and then he often has to wear a belt.

Original poster
mrsrhodgilbert · 19/12/2014 22:33

Hi Notso, dd2 has been lucky enough to get two unconditional offers from Nottingham, which is two hours away by car. She seems quite comfortable with that although I'm worried. I keep thinking of all the times dd1 wanted to come home, which would have been difficult for her with a 3 hour train journey. If Durham offer she would be an hour away by car, but would have to do very well next summer. A difficult decision.

OP posts:
madeinkent · 20/12/2014 13:00

Fingers crossed that she is able to make that choice, then.