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Higher education

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Original poster

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 3

999 replies

mrsrhodgilbert · 28/11/2013 15:33

The comment about where they now live and consider to be home is interesting. If dd doesn't go back to until the end of January she will only have just over two months until the Easter holidays. She will actually come home on my 50th birthday and we are all going away for a few days. After Easter she then has about another 4 or 5 weeks left, possibly with a few exams after that.

That sounds like no time at all and then she will be back for the summer, hopefully with a job again. If some dc consider they have left home, do they not come back for the holidays?

I'm hearing from her much less and she seems quite busy with work. I'm not sure she feels she has many friends yet and it seems quite fluid still, but she is definitely calmer. She has a few pre Christmas things lined up, ice skating, panto, club parties, lunch out etc so I hope some friendships will be cemented. Still no plans for a house for year two but ive tried to tell her not to panic about that. Some people who were sorted a few weeks ago might not be any more.

OP posts:
Littleham · 24/11/2014 19:04

Sad tracey. My eldest dd going off coincided with a nasty life event, so I know what you mean. Lovely that she is happy though & you may end up with the nice young man visiting as well!

traceyinrosso70 · 25/11/2014 15:40

Littleham we too have had a dreadful year as a family losing my dad very suddenly in January and meaning my dad never got to know that DD passed her driving test a week after he died, that she got straight As in her A levels and he would have been so proud of her ! It felt like he missed so much and I think that has added to my difficulty coping with her going off to Uni as I sometimes feel like I have lost both of them - I know I haven't lost DD and I have to talk to myself sternly when I go down that train of thought but it does add to the bad days !

traceyinrosso70 · 25/11/2014 15:41

And I am hoping we get a visit from the nice young man !!

Littleham · 27/11/2014 14:17

Sorry to hear about your dreadful year. No wonder it has been stressful for you. Not long until Christmas now, so you can look forward to seeing her soon.

DD has a very Christmassy university room!
She has also been in a show with her music and has found a way to travel (which was one of her hopes for university).

Medge68 · 02/12/2014 08:07

Still strugglingSad burst into tears this morning when a photo of her with friends looking really happy popped up on FB this morningBlush

SecretSquirrels · 02/12/2014 11:24

DS finishes on Friday for Christmas Smile.
He doesn't have to vacate his room but I think he is bringing a lot of stuff back so we'll have a car load.
Planning next year's accommodation. he was asked to join two groups. Group one, all boys he gets on well with but keen clubbers, group two, a quieter mixed group. He is going with group two.

Kez100 · 02/12/2014 22:54

We have had the call today - lectures finish next Wednesday and there is a hand in on Thursday, so we have arranged a Friday pick-up. Three weeks off. Mind you, we will all be working!

madeinkent · 02/12/2014 23:42

Strangely I have started to miss him more now that I know he will be back soon. Probably not until the 20th though - far too many parties going on! He will be at home until the end of January though. Which means that I will get used to him being at home all over again and then miss him when he has gone. At least he will still be around for his big sister's birthday party though.

Isthiscorrect · 03/12/2014 05:10

I'm missing DS a lot, but holding it together reasonably well. I love seeing the pictures on fb, although he never posts them and is always tagged in someone else's. I've already started cooking for him and sending him pictures. He was very specific about all the food he wanted me to cook lol, I'm happy to oblige. He doesn't get back here till 16th, we shall both be working and then we are off on holiday on 19th. I'm very excited I expect I shall have to give myself a good talking to to make sure I don't smother him and put him off telling me anything ;-)
Have a lovely time with your DC and enjoy the time together.

Medge68 · 03/12/2014 07:24

I do love the photos on FB and I'm so glad she's happy, and I feel ridiculous crying at them but it just makes me realise how much I miss her. Not sure when she's coming home, just that it's not the day they finish as there are parties to be attended!Smile

SecretSquirrels · 03/12/2014 14:44

I think DS seems to finish ahead of his friends at other unis and he goes back much sooner. It means he only overlaps for 2 weeks.
Some of his flat mates are staying on but he doesn't do clubbing really and wants to come home to see his girl friend.

Littleham · 03/12/2014 14:55

DD doesn't finish for two weeks. Terms at universities do seem to differ a lot. I wonder why?

Have just seen her in another music performance & she is really loving it. Smile

Notsoskinnyminny · 03/12/2014 18:36

DD finishes on the 12th and has signed up for as many shifts as possible for the 3 wks she's off to boost her year abroad fund. She finished a week later last year and because she's working this weekend she's going to miss the christmas parties but she'd rather have the money than go clubbing. I might be a good mum and drive her back on Sunday with a nice cake for the flat xmas dinner.

Kez100 · 03/12/2014 18:50

My DD has just sealed a commission! Starts over Christmas with an end date at Easter - might need a weekend or two home but otherwise should be do-able over the holiday :)

You cannot imagine how chuffed I am! It's hard being the Mum of a creative - I do get concerned as to where work will come from.

SecretSquirrels · 03/12/2014 19:11

Littleham They are worse than schools.
Notsoskinnyminny DS flat cooked Christmas dinner last week, with all the trimmings apparently.
Kez100 That sounds interesting. Does she get her creativity from you?
No creative genes in this family Grin
DS has been sorting his house for next year. He has been asked to go with a mixed group of 6. Given the choice he'd stay in halls as he's not interested in being nearer to clubs / shops.

traceyinrosso70 · 03/12/2014 20:29

Am sooo looking forward to getting DD home on the 15th ! She's been ill off and on all term and think catching up on sleep will be a big help.

Kez100 · 03/12/2014 20:59

Me, no! I'm an accountant (hence me being worried about how she will ever earn any money!!)

Both of my parents were creatives so it's probably from there.

SecretSquirrels · 04/12/2014 09:28

traceyinrosso70 Oh yes I think they might all just come home and sleep for a month and we'll hardly see themGrin.

hattymattie · 04/12/2014 14:48

Hi - I'm a very long time lurker on this thread but just had to come on to say DD is coming back on Monday and I'm so excited. I do think she'll probably sleep and eat for a month before the next session. I am worried that she'll find it unbelievably boring here as her uni life has been so full on.

madeinkent · 04/12/2014 15:12

kez100 DS has had the odd commission too, but he freely admits that he will be very lucky to earn his living at it. Especially once he has to leave uni and will lose most of his contacts, because he will never be able to afford to live in his city unless he earns a lot of money. Still, you never know, and I do wish my family had allowed me to go to drama college rather than study accountancy!

DS is not going skiing with friends this year which worried me rather, as he will have five weeks at home with only two parties and Christmas with his family to keep him amused, but he says the thought of all that rest and peace sounds good to him and he can't wait to have a bath and not have to get up early. He was very unlucky this year, four days a week of 9am lectures.

SecretSquirrels · 04/12/2014 15:47

Yes DS has 9am lectures every single day. Admittedly his halls are only 5 minutes away but he is looking forward to some lie ins.
Home here in the sticks is a huge contrast to the buzz of uni life, I think he will enjoy catching up with all the friends who went off to different unis.

Needmoresleep · 05/12/2014 12:11

Secret, how many hours teaching does your son get a week? Three out of four of my son's courses are maths with one lecture a week for each and a supporting class. He is finding that each lecture covers a huge amount of ground and he then has to spend about 6 hours going through the content. Christmas, apparently, will be a chance to go through the first terms work again. He seems to be doing fine, but is clear that he cannot afford to drop behind. I think he has been surprised a little about how different it is from the way maths was taught at school.

One advantage of being in London is that he has seen a lot of school friends. They all seem to make their way down at some point or other. I think he enjoys the mix of new and old.

SecretSquirrels · 05/12/2014 18:14

Just picked him (and his laundry) up for Christmas.
Hi Needmoresleep There is flexibility in how many modules are taken. Needless to say DS has signed up for the maximum. He has about 14 hours of lectures, 4 hours of what they call small classes, 1 hour tutorial and 3 hours "supervision". On top of that he gets work set which is intended to take up to 24 hours and a fortnightly test. He seems to get a lot of work back marked so has a good idea how he is doing (he was furious about the marking strike which affected one piece of work Grin).
He reckons the Maths students have less free time than any others.
I think the fact that he taught himself a lot of extra Maths and school has stood him in good stead.

hattymattie · 05/12/2014 18:29

Secret - I think ours are at the same place - although DD reckons only law, medicine and nat sci workWink. DD is staying with a friend at LSE for the weekend before finally coming home on Monday.

JellicleCat · 05/12/2014 20:30

I can't believe some students are finished already. DD's last exam is on the 18th and she will be home on the 21st. She starts back on the 12th Jan.