Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

EMPTY NEST SUPPORT THREAD - PART 3

999 replies

mrsrhodgilbert · 28/11/2013 15:33

The comment about where they now live and consider to be home is interesting. If dd doesn't go back to until the end of January she will only have just over two months until the Easter holidays. She will actually come home on my 50th birthday and we are all going away for a few days. After Easter she then has about another 4 or 5 weeks left, possibly with a few exams after that.

That sounds like no time at all and then she will be back for the summer, hopefully with a job again. If some dc consider they have left home, do they not come back for the holidays?

I'm hearing from her much less and she seems quite busy with work. I'm not sure she feels she has many friends yet and it seems quite fluid still, but she is definitely calmer. She has a few pre Christmas things lined up, ice skating, panto, club parties, lunch out etc so I hope some friendships will be cemented. Still no plans for a house for year two but ive tried to tell her not to panic about that. Some people who were sorted a few weeks ago might not be any more.

OP posts:
MABS · 26/02/2014 16:51

mine has no reason to be so disorganised, no dyspraxia at all, she just is so damn lazy! and hopeless with organisation - unless it social life ;-)

fussychica · 28/02/2014 14:30

The comments about pen drives really rang a bell with me. We have sent DS several over the past few months. Asked him to send one back the other day - says he can't find any of themShock Just as well they only had films and TV stuff on them and not work!

madeofkent · 28/02/2014 22:43

Watch Outnumbered, the last episode, if you haven't already. It's just so hilarious. Grin lost phones, keys, oyster cards - hilarious and just how I remember my life being at times.

MABS · 01/03/2014 09:59

very funny madeofkent :)

funnyperson · 01/03/2014 18:28

could you point me to the link for it please?

mumeeee · 01/03/2014 18:45

Madeofkent. That sounds very like DD3 last year. I lost count of how many timed she lost things. Although she did eventually find a lot of the lost stuff in weird places.Smile

madeofkent · 01/03/2014 22:28

Here's the link, it should be ok until 12th march

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b03wyczt/Outnumbered_Series_5_Episode_5/

madeofkent · 01/03/2014 22:31

I make DS watch it sometimes. He has Ben moments coupled with Jake dryness. This episode is definitely a forcehimtowatch one.

funnyperson · 02/03/2014 14:16

v amusing. thanks.

MABS · 03/03/2014 15:00

it's so very dd!

madeofkent · 03/03/2014 23:00

Having a son who wants to try everything and has loads of hobbies makes it even worse. It just means they take more stuff to school and on trips that will get lost. We have had to pay postage for items from all over the UK.

He went to a rubiks cube party last month. He had to go to a club wearing t-shirts on top of each other in the colours of a cube - 6 in all. When the music stopped a colour would be called out and they had to strip/swap to that colour. He went with red, blue, yellow, green, black and white and returned with - brown.

MABS · 09/03/2014 14:48

rubix cube party! a new one on me :)

mumeeee · 10/03/2014 22:23

Spoke to DD3 today she is very stressed with her work at the moment having a lot of trouble with one of her assignments and keeps mislayinng things because she is stressed, Apparently a lot of them are having trouble with this particular assignment. She was also worrying about an exam that's coming up. But that is not until May so I've told her not to worry about that at the moment and concentrate on what she needs to do before Easter. I really hope she passes everything this term it"s hard when you can't really help. She spoke to DH aswell.

madeofkent · 11/03/2014 19:15

At least she's communicating, I expect the sympathy helps her as much as anything, you are her safety valve.

mumeeee · 11/03/2014 19:28

You are right madeofkent. I think things are just getting on top of her. She also found some stuff she was supposed to do but had forgotten about but she can sort that out. She spoke to her tutor today ( well I think she did) and has found she has to start an assignment or at least part of it again. It involves programming and some of it wouldn't work. So hopefully she can get that sorted by starting again. How's everyone eleses DC doing?

minsmum · 11/03/2014 20:19

Sorry I haven't been around for a while, finally got a new laptop as DD took the only working one back with her in January. Nice to see they are all still there plugging away. DD has not been in touch very much this term at all. Only to ask for money and advice because she has earache. Mumeee I am very impressed that your DD is communicating so well with you, less impressed that the poor girl is so stressed.

mumeeee · 11/03/2014 23:55

Thanks minsmum. I'm glad she is communicating with us but she does tend to get stressed about things especially if she is getting near a deadline. She was terrible near the end of college last year but she got the work done. She is Dyspraxic which doesn't help as she is very disorganised and the more stressed she gets the more disorganised she is. A vicious circle really. We are off to Paris for a few days tomorrow so won't be able to speak to her again until Monday. I've told her to try and relax a bit and do her work in manageable chunks.

MABS · 12/03/2014 14:04

Agree with it being a credit to you she communicating so well :) mine suddenly flying back for w/e to cook me meal as she not around on mothers day....I am VERY suspicious!!

minsmum · 12/03/2014 21:20

If she is Dsypraxic then she really is a very impressive young lady indeed. My ds is on the autistic spectrum with dyspraxia, dyslexia & dis calcula , don't think that's how you spell it. He struggled with primary school let alone organising for university.
Mabs isn't it funny that experience teaches us to view their actions suspiciously. My dd texted this morning to say that she would be phoning for a "chat" this evening, her dad said what does she want.

mumeeee · 12/03/2014 21:56

Well she has taken a long time to get to this stage. She was 22 in January but because of her Dyspraxia and another learning difficulty she is more like an 18 year old.

MABS · 13/03/2014 09:13

indeed minsmum, indeed...!

MABS · 13/03/2014 09:14

and well done to her mummee

madeofkent · 13/03/2014 14:13

It seems to me that we are still on here because our DCs have all had troubles of one kind or another, and so we are more worried for them than many parents might be. but you know - ours are hanging on in there, so far, and I think if your lot are anything like as scatty as mine, we should all be proud that they got there in the first place! I spent hours and hours attempting to train DS to keep records and take notes and make reminders for himself, and I still manage to feel quite shocked that he took it all in (because it didn't look like it at the time) and is actually managing all by himself.

I feel really mean though, DBH wants us to go to Paris without him in May and DS loves Paris and will be back home by then. So I am rather hoping that he goes off somewhere on a trip of his own.

mumeeee · 17/03/2014 11:27

Think you are right madeofkent. We should all be very proud of them. DD3 is still stressed but think she's getting there slowly. She said she worked through the night last night and didn't go to bed unit early this morningSmile . She has a group Presentation today so at least that will be one thing finished.

Notsoskinnyminny · 18/03/2014 18:45

I agree made and mumeeee, DS has aspergers and DD definitely has some tendencies. She copes fairly well and is very independent and outgoing, in as much as she'll happily start a conversation with someone she doesn't know, but her experiences in the first term have really knocked her confidence. The old DD is coming back and she's not as needy but there's still a slight hesitation when you talk to her but she's seems happy and is finally starting to enjoy uni.

Unfortunately DSS, who jumped straight into uni life, is now having a rough time so DH has him on the phone most nights I'm resisting the urge to say some of the things he said to me about DD