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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

DD finally soooo stressed. support please :)

31 replies

MABS · 13/05/2013 07:41

That's it really! did first A2 last week, French oral and actually did very well her teacher said, but she is now so very stressed by it all.

Think it finally dawned on her she really does want to go to Uni, was always a bit indifferent though she got 5 offers. Really wants her first choice, but I feel too little too late on the study front...

Anyone else in similar position? accom booked, student finance sorted, 'just ' the grades to get!!!

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 13/05/2013 07:47

Yep trying to keep calm here too. DD has really put in the hrs since her offers came in & she accepted.

Keep Calm & Eat Chocolate is the current mantra at Bossy Towers. Grin

Seriously though, book a few massages, early nights, the odd half day doing nothing but chilling, watching crap TV etc.

Oh & lots of Wine for mother !!!

Original poster
MABS · 13/05/2013 07:51

thanks Bossy, mother is doing way too much wine!! massage for her is great idea, not occurred to me, i just think she left it all too late sadly :(

OP posts:
mindgone · 13/05/2013 17:13

I like "keep calm and eat chocolate"! I think we need to remember that there's no time limit, and if they don't get there this year, then hopefully next. They may even change their minds about what they want to do. I hope this reassures you MABS, and not stresses you further! It's in their hands, we just have to live with them and pick up the pieces! And hopefully celebrate with them when the time comes! I wish you all lots of Wine. :)

Original poster
MABS · 13/05/2013 17:22

thanks Mindgone :)

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 13/05/2013 17:40

Never too late to start MABS!!

A friend of mine is training to be a sports masseur & does DD1's neck & back regularly which she loves. I used to have an aromatherapy clinic & still do it for family, just even doing hand or feet while they sit on the sofa is so relaxing, I can send you some tips if you like!

Tonight, as we're all Les Mis fans, we have treated ourselves to the DVD (only £10 in Tesco) got Pizzas & have declared tonight an exam free zone!

DD1 has had a full day of revision at school, & is brain dead....I also have DD2 on study leave, doing GCSE's but she's full of cold today so a break from the books won't hurt, she has promised to do more tomorrow.

Original poster
MABS · 13/05/2013 17:53

DD has decided to board at college Mon to Fri so she only home at w/e, sometimes pops back Wed. I have a very unwell younger ds, up and down to hospital every week, so try to keep her away from it all at home in truth. I too am doing Les Mis tonight, but alone :)

OP posts:
alreadytaken · 13/05/2013 19:25

Les Mis DVD only 7 pounds in Sainsburys if you spend 30 pounds, blue ray 10 pounds. We bought one too.

The teenager claims not to be stressed, January exams went well, which helps. Epsom salt baths may help as you can absorb magnesium through the skin. Boys can possibly be persuaded to take them by saying they are a traditional remedy for sports injuries. Dark chocolate contains a significant amount of magnesium so eat (small amounts of ) dark chocolate and keep calm may actually work Grin

Unfortunately can't say the same for wine as it depletes B vitamins. A supplement may help.

mindgone · 13/05/2013 22:50

MABS, that's tough! I guess you need to do whatever you can to make life a bit easier for you all! Hope your DS improves soon.

Original poster
MABS · 14/05/2013 07:56

thanks girls

OP posts:
alreadytaken · 14/05/2013 12:14

forgot to say that while the teen claims not be stressed I am! It would be good to know what town they will be in and not to be concerned about possibly finding accommodation last minute. Their back-up should be able to provide accommodation but it's still a worry. So supplements and baths for me - and I'll join you on the wine when we're all waiting for the results.

mindgone · 14/05/2013 14:17

Should they apply for accommodation for their insurance choice? DS has only applied for accom for his firm choice.

Original poster
MABS · 14/05/2013 15:46

dd has applied for accom at both, but not sure if that correct or not!

OP posts:
eatyourveg · 14/05/2013 19:51

ds also applied for accommodation at both his firm and insurance when he did it last year

sandripples · 14/05/2013 20:29

MABS - we're a languages family here (ie both parents and one DC have language degrees) The good thing about languages is you do absorb a lot as you go along, and if she's done well in the oral, that's great - she must know lots of vocab and be able to express herself. So take heart.

If it goes pear-shaped a gap year or a few months in the country of the relevant language would work wonders!

My DS now stressed at 1st year of uni exams - really tough.

Uni's vary on their policies of wheter they allow applicants to apply for accommodation if its an insurance choice. eg Manchester you can apply. But I know several that don't allow it. You have to check each one.

funnyperson · 14/05/2013 20:40

Dear mabs your post took me back. The best thing during exam times is to provide regular meals of favourite and nutritious food, with the odd favourite take away, and healthy drinks and snacks/fruit. Also a supply of pens, pencils, post-its, revision cards and the regulation clear plastic bag and a working watch.
I dont go for films during exams at home as the family have always been last-minute swotters, but we do make sure the trainers and running shoes fit, as little bouts of regular exercise such as a run/walk/cycle round the block blow the cobwebs away. I also dont encourage too much socialising, no sleepovers during exams and revision, and back home by 10 pm if they do go out. Not that you can enforce, but you can suggest they tell their friends that you have grounded them (even if your DD knows you havent really)
It is also very helpful to ensure there are no family crises. Thus as a mum, keeping finances in order, booking the summer holiday, and ensuring grandparents are cared for is always useful.

Original poster
MABS · 15/05/2013 18:26

thanks alla again, problem is, not calm here at all as ds is very unwell, up and down to hospital, so that's why i encourage dd to board in truth.

OP posts:
whitecloud · 15/05/2013 18:28

MABS - it is a tough time, isn't it? My dd has A2s. She gets a bit more snappy because of the pressure, but hasn't started the actual exams yet. She got more stressed for her GCSE's. I try to take the pressure off by saying (and I really mean it) - if you have done your best and tried your hardest I am not going to be angry, whatever you get. If you got 0% for every exam I'd still love you. I think they really need that. Has she got a lower offer as an insurance choice? That helps to take the pressure off. I try to say sometimes, you can always go to insurance uni if something goes wrong.

mindgone is right. Nothing is the end of the world even though it may feel like it at 18. There are always other routes to get to a place, including trying again next year. I just try for the most part to be positive and say everything will be fine! When we get to the actual exams, I know I'll be nervous.

Some really good suggestions here for taking the pressure off.

Original poster
MABS · 17/05/2013 17:31

yep, she came home couple hours ago, had long chat, now one Monday and one Tuesday..

OP posts:
noddyholder · 17/05/2013 17:39

Mabs I am here too. Ds got really 'easy' offer from very good uni much to the surprise of his tutors as there has never been anyone from his college got in there. Unfortunately since then he has done no work and his head has phoned me and says he could well fail. We are at a loss he spends every spare minute out and about and does no work He got in on his portfolio but there are still essays unfinished with 9 days to go. Hope things pick up for you all AT least your dd has an excuse

Original poster
MABS · 17/05/2013 17:46

aaaggh Noddy, don't want to see you here! dd is working but very very edgy and not helped by ds at all :(

OP posts:
noddyholder · 17/05/2013 17:52

Ds has just gone out the door to a party! He came in from his 'gf' at 3 had a shower and went back out and still thinks he is going in September. I have had enough his teachers say he deserves a wake up call but I want him to go!

Original poster
MABS · 17/05/2013 17:58

dd not been out since beginning may, seems to be studying very full on ...

OP posts:
noddyholder · 17/05/2013 18:25

Smile Thats good. My ds worked more before the offer as his other offers were quite tough

funnyperson · 17/05/2013 22:08

noddyholder aarrgghh am feeling your terror here. I think its time his dad grounded him. There is only one life. You will not forgive yourselves if you are not firm now.

noddyholder · 18/05/2013 08:22

We can't ground him he is too old he will earn te hard way I think or luck will be on his side which seems to be what happens with him. His tutorschavecall said there is nothing we can do ! I do think if he can't gt hscact together at this stage he upisvmaybe not suited to another 3 yrs study and it could be a huge waste of money. I am stepping back a bit now.