Do you want your children to go to UNIVERSITY? Did you or DH/DP go?

[RTKangaMummy]

?

I agree with twiglett (as per) about entry to uni being devalued.

Dh went - I didn't and I don't regret it. Dh is frustrated with me for not reaching my 'full potential' as he sees it. I know I'm no dunce but I'm not remotely ambitious - I leave that to the rest of the 'Too' family

Both DH and I went, first degrees and PhD's. I would think the boys are missing out if they don't go, as it's sucj a fab experience, but, and it's a big but, we will not be encouraging them to take soft options, as the current range of courses on offer in subjects not really suitable for degree level study, and future employment is a big bug bear.

MI's point about it being an assumption in your family rings true for me. It was just the normal thing to do in my family. But my sister went off the rails quite badly as a teenager and has had to do it all the hard way. Currently half-way through a nursing degree aged nearly 34. Would have made her life a lot easier if she'd just rebelled in some other way!

And not having a degree does rule you out of some jobs - it's an easy test for employers to apply to reduce the number of applications they have to look through. In the civil service, for instance, I gather it still affects your grade.

I was thinking of how to phrase my post, when I read Twiglett's and she has done it for me!

Great if my kids want to go to Uni - would be fabulous for them. Only thing would be paying for 4 kids to study! - don't know how we'll manage that. I supported myself through uni with part time jobs - & wouldn't want my kids to do this as much as I had to.

you know mi, that was one thing uni did, politicise me. Spend hours talking crap into the wee hours on the taxpayers money. Thats a good and useful thing for the young to do, imo. don't know if you need to go to uni for it, but it was nice.

And go on demos, of course. falsane, in my case. oh and tuition fees, iraq, blah blah.

I did, dp didn't.

I want ds to go, dp doesn't.

Interestingly dp earns more than me and thats his argument as he worked his way up. But I don't think it's about money, I think it's the experience.
I blossemed at uni, became more self confident, learnt how to look after myself, as well as having a bloody good time and earning a degree.

So I guess we'll see what ds wants to do.

I did, DH did and we fully expect both children to go. Of course, when it comes down to it'll be each child's decision but we'll definitely be encouraging them to go to university and we are planning to pay for it.

Me and dh went (dh to Cambridge) I don't really mind whether dd wants to go or not, I don't think degrees are as valuable now as they were. I think some sort of vocational course supported by an employer can be far more valuable in the jobs market and don't involve huge loans.

OTOH if she wanted to go for a laugh and to tit around for 3 years, I'd be happy with that!

I went to uni straight from school. Dh failed his A levels and then went as a mature student when he was 24.

I guess we'd both like our dds to go to university, but only if it's what they want (surely everyone would say that). I certainly wouldn't try to persuade them to go at 18 if they didn't want to. They can always go later (like dh), or do a degree while working (though that's a difficult way to do it, IME - my sister has done it, and is now doing an MBA that way). Although I have followed a pretty linear study-career path, dh has always dipped into different things (he has been a road haulier, musician, recording engineer, student, lecturer/teacher and only got his present job - which is likely to be vaguely permanent - at the age of 39!) and he hasn't suffered too much for it.

I see university-level study as having an intrinsic worth in its own right, which doesn't necessarily need to lead to a job. So, yes, an English degree may be 'worthless' in terms of training you for a career, but you have all the time in the world between the ages of 22 and 65 to do a career. If you can spend three years reading and talking about books and 'big ideas' and being guided in your reading of some of the key texts of our culture by someone who really cares about it... well, just wow really! I know I may be a bit odd, but I find that exciting and important for its own sake, not as a way in to a career/bit fat salary.

Having said that, clearly I wouldn't cry (much!) if my dds eschewed literary pursuits in favour of merchant banking or marketing or whatever. At the moment, though, they both want to be childminders. How fab a testimony is that to my lovely lovely childminder? I'll settle for that for now...

Oops... should have been 'big fat salary', not 'a bit of a fat salary'!!!!

Ellbell, I agree with you. I think university can be study for study's sake rather than just the beginning of a career. I also think it provides a safe place for young people to grow up and 'find themselves', as it were. I started out as an international business major and had to take a basic fine arts course as part of the programme. I absolutely fell in love with the arts, which was something that I wasn't exposed to growing up, and went on to do a degree in art history. If I had just jumped into the business world I think I would've been very unhappy. I also might well have missed out on something that has become a big part of my life - the arts.

It's interesting that university is perceived as "being safe". Is it not sfae working in a bank or for a supermarket etc etc?

There are actually quite a lot of dangers in universities drink, drugs and depression for example.

I hope that by the time our kids are grown up there are more flexible options like the OU or combining work with study so that they don't have to start off in so much debt

although I enjoyed uni a lot and so did dh, I do think there was a lot of pissing about which, though I was happy to do on the taxpayer, I don't think I would want my kids to run up so much debt just so they could spend three years trying to work out how much coffee/ beer they could drink without starting to bark

an awful lot of degrees involve a luxurious amount of spare time, however much we tried to deny it

We did

She will if she wants to I wouldn't force her!

Interesting point re "soft" degrees, what a horrible place the world would be without people studying English though...

think it needs a thread of its own

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2405&threadid=175982\here it is}

I think university's percieved as being 'safe' as it's a halfway house between living at home with your parents and needing to be completely self-supporting.
You have a network of tutors etc who are nominally responsible for your welfare as well as access to all sorts of support services (health, counselling, study skills) etc, and you're in a slightly-structured environment that can provide a helpful transition between school and going it alone.

I suppose that (eg) living at home whilst working in a supermarket could theoretically provide you with all this sort of support and more, but I think that 18-21 year olds who are working are just as susceptible to drink, drugs and depression than students are.

Both dh and I went to uni and went on to professional careers, though I have stepped off the threadmill since dd.

This is quite important to me (though less to dh) but I would be very very disappointed if my children did not do a degree in a decent uni that led to marketable skills. I am pretty laissez faire about most things, but education is the one thing I will not be able to resist imposing subtle pressure. I accept that there is more than one way to success, but I feel that this route is the most return for least effort and risk. But I am biased.

One of the reasons why I am topping up dd's child trust fund account to the maximum allowance every year is to fund her uni education. Big hopes.

are we talking full time here? my husband for example left school went to college full time on a yts scheme, evetually acheived his BA hons and is now doing a masters (at 36:o)

i also left school and went into work but have since been acheiving academic qualifications. I was asked to leave home when i was 17, i am not sure I would have been able to do a levels and such like.

do i want my son to go to uni? if he wants to and is capable, if not I dont really care as long as HE is happy

my daughter wont be going but will be at college until she is 19:o

statistically students are more at risk

Pink it's a good point, we shouldn't just be discussing whether or not our kids go to uni from 18-21 full time.

I know a few people who did a degree later on and appreciated it much more

I don't think you do properly appreciate the chances that you have with study at university; if you leave it a bit later then experience might make you make better choices

I know someone who did an arts degree and then in her late 20s thought about becoming a speech therapist - turned out that that was a degree in itself and she was already paying off student loans from the first one, which while enjoyabloe didn't actually give her any marketable skills

dont want to turn this round to be me me me but I have never had the oppurtunity to learn until now, I am 28. I feel desperate to learn and feel lucky I am supported by my husband in order to. i feel the need to stretch myself, something that was never important when i was 16/17/18 because I was too preoccupied with getting by and dealing with shit. I think i apopreciate the chance to learn now more than most 18 year olds

We both went to uni, I did biology and dh did engineering. I am sort of expecting my boys to go to uni, even autistic ds1 if he can cope. In fact I think the uni lab environment will be somewhere he will love (I would say there are probably a high proportion of autists in dh's engineering labs!)

we did. of course i'd like ds to, but i'd rather his aim in life wasn't just 'go to university' like it was for me - i didn't and don't really have any other ambitions.