Do you want your children to go to UNIVERSITY? Did you or DH/DP go?

[RTKangaMummy]

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I went to uni and it was good fun. My hubby did not go and doesn't see what all the fuss is about. As far as my DS goes though I simply cannot say. He's 3 and it all seems a long way off. If he's bright enough he'll go (if he wants to) but will have it drummed in that uni is not a right and he'll have responsibilities if he does go. We'd support him all the way if he did but, like all working class people, he'd have to find a part-time job to help support himself through it too.

It seems very sad to me that the ex polys seems to have left behind a lot that they excelled at....working with industry etc and have chased the 'degree' line, forgetting what they were great at.

Re OU, I can recoemnd them 100%, first rate academicaly. I did my PGCE with them and found it every bit as demanding as my first degree.

Very important to me that they both go to university.Can't remember which one is which but ds will go to Cambridge for science and maths and dd will go to Oxford for English Lit or Art college for fashion.Saving up for them to go is nearly an option for us.Dh has a degree but I did not go.I am very ambitious for my children.Ds has been wanting to be a scientist and shows promise all the way through school.He is very bright and just knows what he wants to do.Dd is very artistic and would like to be a writer and a fashion designer.

I have a degree DH doesn't,but has a job that pays a salary that is much the same as mine.
The only difference is that I do a job,that I still love,he does one that he sort of fell into and has no real job satisfaction.
I would love both my boys to go to uni,but only if they want to.The most important thing is,that they find what they want to do in life.
Lots of friends who have degrees,are in jobs that they hate or have no real interest in.
Your interest in your job may decrees a bit over the years,but if you do something you really love then at least your working life is more enjoyable(especially if we have to work till we're 70).
I would also like them to go to uni to experience the life style and fun.I would be heartbroken,if they got someone pregnant and settled down too young,without having had the freedom I experienced during my late teens and twenties.

We both went but, given what I know I got up to at Uni, I certainly don't want dd to go and get up to the same things!

Both myself and DH went, but looking at his career path he didn't really need to, and is in fact much happier now he has a hands-on ladder-climbing type job that uses skills his degree completely passed over than he was as a tie-wearing graduate manager. Having said that, he had a great time at universiyt and had a lot of opportunities and experiences that he wouldn't have had otherwise.

On the other hand, I love my job, and there's no way I could have got into it without two degrees and the practical and theoretical experience they gave me.

I think it's unfair to push people into university who aren't really sure what they want to do - there's a huge range of post-16 and post-18 options out there that would suit some people a whole lot better than university would, and there are lots of careers that are more suited to an apprenticeship-type training period than a classroom-based formal qualification.

I just wish young people were better informed about all this - my academically-orientated school basically reduced career choice to Lawyer, Doctor or Journalist, with the outre option of Obscure Academic for the classics girls. Rubbish really, and I'm quite pleased I'm none of the above.

I met my DH at 15 and managed to go Uni and have two children by the age of 22 - It is possible to settle down "too young" and still get a degree, a wonderful family and not have regrets about stuff you didn't do and life experience you didn't get - I can do some crazy stuff later instead!!

Also - Yey to apprenticeships and boo to abolition of the City and Guilds - Would be dead pleased if one of my DD's decided to train to be a painter and decorater or an electric - Very useful and worthwhile industries and they pay well too - In fact I might teach DD1 how to wire a plug this afternoon in preparation (she's 2 btw!! ) I'll let DD2 loose with a brush and a tin of Crown later too (she's 1 btw!! )

Never to young to start piling on the pressure!! (Whatever happened to child labour, my DD2 is the perfect constituation for climbing up chimneys and my DD1's serious pout would be perfect trotting behind a coffin!! )

Ahem!!

Both me and DP went to Uni. DP has a boilogy degree, and now is in a crappy dead end slaes job. I did a music degree, and do whetver I can to bring in the dough, which is a couple of nights in a pub, and some cello teaching, and a coupole of other things. I'd like to say that going to uni was worthwhile, but I do often feel like I got myself into debt for nothing (I mean, you don't need a degree to pull pints in a grotty local!). I just want DS and the DB to do their best at whatever they choose in life (as long as it doesn't involve crime etc!!) I'd rather that DS was a well rounded person with respect for his fellow beings etc and above all that he is doing something that makes him happy. I honestly don't mind whether he ends up as a brain surgeon or a street cleaner. All jobs have their place in this world.

DP has a BIOLOGY degree, obv. Dure

You don't need a degree to be successful in life. You only needed to look at the winner and runner-up in Sir Alan's "The Apprentice" - neither had more than GCSEs / A Levels.

Work hard and be determined. Experience in life is good, but experience + Uni is not essential. If they want to go, letting them fund their own way and shouldering their own responsibilties may give them the drive they need to realise their own success.

Good to those who have and good to those who haven't I say!

Both me and DH left school at 16. I went on and did a BTEC and later A levels and went to uni as a mature student at 30, once I'd had all 4 children. I got more out of it than I would have done at 18 but any "graduate jobs" wanted a 21 year old and not a 33 year old. I couldn't just up and move to another part of the country either so basically I have never used the degree that I put so much work into.

DD is currently in her second year and doing performing arts. I wanted her to study chemistry (bit of a difference) but DH felt that as neither of us got to follow our dreams and have ended up in rather boring and humdrum jobs that she should be able to go off on a whim now while she's got no ties- plenty of time to change direction later.

DS1 is going in September and is hoping to do marine engineering.

I don't know about the other two. All I want for any of them is to have real choices, so that they don't wake up at 43 and think "what am I doing here?"

And I think it is grossly unfair that the funding is based on your parents circumstances, over which you have no control. Had I left DH and was on my own with them they'd get funding handed to them- because we were stupid enough to stay married and go to work our kids end up in debt. Hardly a fair system.

I want my children to go to university. Both dh and I went. I don't know how much we learnt but it was 3 years of good fun, we met each other, we got degrees that are prerequisites for the jobs we now have - jobs that pay well enough for us to fund our children through university if necessary. Why wouldn't I want them to have the same chance?

Whilst yuou are right LaFleur, not everyone gets the chance to prove themselves in that manner, and a degree IS the essential entry ticket to many careers. I'm just finishing the fiorst year of Uni at 32 preciesely becasue I got as far as I could without one. In my fields there was nowhere left to go otherwise.

I don't know if my ds's will go to Uni- certainly ds3 I would think, he's a puzzle genius! DS2 desperately wants to be a chef, ds1 has disparate abilities and AS so we will see there. I would like to think they wpould, but if not I would insist as best I can without falling out with them that they undertake training relevant to their choices... so maybe we'll help DS2 go to Paris ton work experience after training, or whatever.

I didn't go to uni. I went straight from school to college & studied for my NNEB.
My husband didn't go on to any further education after school. He is very bright & has a well paid job as a team leader, but wishes he had worked harder at school.
I don't really mind whether my DS's choose to go to uni or not. I want them to do whatever makes them happy.

I went at the traditional age and my partner went as a mature student. We've both gone on to more specialised/vocational study on finding that our degrees led to nada in terms of signposting us on to employment. I'm with puff- I would like mine to go if they fancy it and can get in. I think it's a great way to put off entering the real world for a few years. If either or both of them go on to do A levels or whatever is around then and don't have a passionate desire to do something else afterwards I would actually strongly encourage them to go. I think studying at that level can be hugely enjoyable and the ready made social networks are good too. I personally also found it a nice, safe(ish) way to semi-launch into adulthood with lots of leeway to experiment and make mistakes. But finding something they enjoy doing is the most important thing and there are all sorts of routes to that.

agree with you scumy that it is a halfway house into adulthood.

I also found it very stimulating to find people who had come from different backgrounds/ countries to my own.

I didnt, DH went to a former Poly on a computer science degree but left half way through. Made no difference what so ever to his job, his first job was a fantastic job for experience and that whats made the difference. A lack of a degree has never stood in his way when applying for jobs. But guess it depends on what field you want to work in.

I really dont care if my kids want to go to Uni, but will support them in whatever they choose to do. At the end of the day I want them to have a happy fulfilled life, and a degree doenst guarantee that.

dh and I both went - met there. We both loved it and we both do jobs that we would not have got without degrees. As far as DDs are concerned my main concern is that they do something they enjoy and which is constructive - in a very broad understanding of the word - I'm not sure I really care whether it's bumming round the world, starting their own business, training to be electricians, or going to university. As long as they do something; embrace something; make decisions to do it, not just bimble along and then regret not doing something, not taking opportunities. If you make decisions, in good faith, then even if something doesn't turn out to be what you wanted, you don't need to feel regret about it, you can say that it was the best thing to do, at the time; and move on to something else. For me - that's the most important thing.

That sounds right to me hat.:)

i went, dh went. we both have first class honours degrees and all sorts of other crap, and now have shitey jobs. (well not me, i'm a sahm now )

ds is going to be a ballet dancer and dd is going to be a plummer and they are going to be fabulously wealthy and keep me in books and chocolate.

have no idea if they'll want to spend some of their millions on some sort of degree, though.

I have a degree (english) and am working on my second (nursing). Obviously nursing will give me a career but I think if I had chosen to use it english would have to but you have to make the right decisions during your degree to get into the graduate market. Its not as easy as it used to be.

My dp has spent 4 years at uni and come out with lots of debt but no qualifications. He was pushed into doing a degree because he didn't know what else to do, I have other friends in a similar position.

Uni for me offered me the chance to leave home, something none of my friends who chose not to go to uni have yet managed. It has given me 10K debt but honestly i can live with it.

So I think when I do have children I would like them to get some form of higher education. I think it gives you a lot of opportunities. But I would make sure ther did the right course for them. My dp's course was all wrong for him but he ended up because we are so blindly pushed into uni these days. I would maybe try and look at what was best for my child rather than go with the flow. Hmm. That sounds patronising. I just think its so important to find something you love and are good at because thats what motivates you to have a lovely happy life.

How can I tell? My oldest daughter is only five; my younger one isn't three yet. How the hell can and/or should I project my own aspirations onto some kind of theory of how they may be in early adulthood?

I went to university and enjoyed it. So did their father. I didn't really think much about going or not, since I come from the kind of middle-class academic family that just assumes you'll go, and in fact I had the chance to play around intellectually, socially and politically - I learned a lot about theories of reading and writing, and I worked pretty hard some of the time, and I did lots of anti-nuclear stuff (this was the very early 1980s) and I drank lots of booze and I smoked lots of dope and I was also quite screwed up and I didn't really come out of it in the same glowing way as some of my contemporaries who are now in the Cabinet or prize-winning novelists, but all in all it was something I'm glad I went.

I probably do make much the same assumptions about my daughters, but I have to face the fact I have no idea what sort of young women they will be in 13 years' time, so I don't really know.

I'm glad I did not went, sorry.

both me and dh went. I would like ds to go for the social aspect of it and the fact that it helps you gain independence and usually leads on to leaving home. My sister didn't go and has huge issues with standing on her own 2 feet, she only left home to get married at nearly 30.