Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Do you want your children to go to UNIVERSITY? Did you or DH/DP go?

140 replies

RTKangaMummy · 20/05/2006 20:17

?

OP posts:
puff · 20/05/2006 20:21

I did

Dh didn't but now has an MA, MBA and PhD (all done whilst he was working) Am I proud? You bet. Is he gifted & talented? He's a bloody genius Grin.

If ds1 and 2 want to go to University. Fine. If they don't, that's fine too. The most important thing to us is that they find something they really enjoy doing.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 20/05/2006 20:22

Dh went to Uni and studied Science (Chemistry, Pysics and Maths I think)

I was due to start Uni this Sept but have had to defer for a little while. Will deffo go back and finish the course though)

I would like the boys to do whatever makes them happy.

expatinscotland · 20/05/2006 20:23

I went. DH didn't.

I care not whether my children go to uni so long as they are good people, happy w/themselves, not harming anyone by it and not involved in abusive relationships what they chose to do for a living and how far they take their education beyond the age of 16 is their business.

Blandmum · 20/05/2006 20:24

Yes, if they want too. I would never push. there area vast range of other valid life choices.

I went and so did dh. My parents didn't (left school at 14), his parents did.

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 20/05/2006 20:24

whoooops it disappeared the phone rang and I clicked post without preview

OP posts:
morningpaper · 20/05/2006 20:24

We both went.

I would like them to go and study something that will have a positive impact on their future career. I would not want them to spend 15K getting into debt for an English degree so that they can spend the next 40 years doing someone's admin

Carmenere · 20/05/2006 20:25

If it is right for them. I didn't but have done pretty well in my chosen fields. Dp has degrees coming out his ears and considers it very important.

puff · 20/05/2006 20:25

Damn good point morningpaper

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/05/2006 20:27

Dh and I didn't.

Ds1 has applied but deferred a year. Not sure that he'll actually go - mainly because of the debt. I'd like him to go for the experience of it, living away from home and stuff. Otherwise the likelihood is he'll be under my roof 'til he's 30!

Mercy · 20/05/2006 20:27

dh and I are both university drop-outs but dh has since done a degree with OU (in a totally unrelated subject)

It's up to them at the end of the day but tbh I would hope they would continue to A level standard.

WigWamBam · 20/05/2006 20:27

I didn't - I had a place but didn't take it up as I was sick of exams by the time I finished my A levels (and yes, I know how stupid that was). Dh has a BSc in Electrical Engineering. I would like dd to go, but only if it's what she wants. All I want for her is to be happy, and will support her in whatever decision she makes with regard to career choice and higher education.

Northerner · 20/05/2006 20:27

Dh went, I didn't. Dh is not using his degree in any way, shape or form.

Uni is not the be all and end all IMO.

If ds wants to go then I will of course support him. But it's not for everyone.

GDG · 20/05/2006 20:28

I went to uni but dh didn't.

It hasn't mattered to him, he's bright and has good social skills which has got him a long way in his job - he's highly regarded and well paid.

I want mine to go if they want to go - there'll be no pressure for me as long as they have a reasonable alternative! I think it would be good for them to go, just having been myself, it's an experience I'd like them to have as there is so much more to it than coming out with a degree.

It's up to them though, it's certainly not for everyone.

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 20/05/2006 20:28

I didn't but DH went to Oxford for MAsters degree

I never wanted to go wanted to go to work instead

My cousins went and couldn't get job, his younger bro didn't go and got very good job, earning lots of money.

So I am not that bothered really whether DS goes or not.

Obviously it depends what job they want to do

Smile
OP posts:
Blandmum · 20/05/2006 20:30

I loved my time at uni.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/05/2006 20:30

There is such a high %age going to uni these days and so many 'soft' degrees. In order for it to really make a difference to your career choices (and therefore worth the debt) you need a first at least and probably a Masters. Not sure that ds will achieve that

Original poster
RTKangaMummy · 20/05/2006 20:31

The cousins younger sis went for 2 weeks but missed her boyfriend so much she left again Grin

OP posts:
nicnack2 · 20/05/2006 20:31

didnt go to uni ost school but did when i was 30 as a mature student and now forever doing extra qaulification. at the open uni at the moment. Funny though i would like my own children to go. think i regret to going when i was 18 but then i choose not to work at school

tamum · 20/05/2006 20:32

Yes, both of us did. Same as GDG, I would like to think they'd have the experience of going because it can be so life enhancing, but if it's not for them then that's fine.

Tortington · 20/05/2006 20:33

i want the capable one to - yes dh and i went.

the boys who wont be going - will earn more than the girl and have no debt

cos tony blairis a big fat fucking wanker

FrayedKnot · 20/05/2006 20:33

I went. DH didn't, because he dropped out of his A'levels, but has since done an MSc while working. I know he sort of regrets dropping out of school but he's made up for it ever since.

I think we also know what it is like to be brought up with high expectations of what we might achieve, and we don;t necessarily have very positive views about it.

I think we will both be disappointed if DS doesn;t go into some form of further education or training, beyond that, I just want him to choose something he's happy with.

JanH · 20/05/2006 20:39

Short answer - it depends!

DD1 finished 2 years ago - has a 2.1 in Linguistics which she will probably never use, and c £12K student loan debt (has just about paid off other loans). Currently doing a temp job with Social Services, but plans to do PGCE and then teach Primary.

DD2 has just finished her first year doing the Social Work degree (a new thing, it used to be just a post-grad diploma). Her tuition is paid by GSCC and she gets a bursary from them of £2500pa on top of her loan; she will still come out owing at least £12K but at least will then work in the field she has studied in and the costs seem worthwhile.

DS1 is in Y13. He would like to do a Politics degree but his AS level grades were only high average even with resits, and his A2 levels will probably not be much better (he's brilliant in class but not so good at homework and revision). He wouldn't get a place on one of the best courses with his grades, and it would be mad to incur debts of £7000+pa (£3K tuition and £4K loan) for that so he is taking a year out and thinking about it.

It's a shame in one way because he has a good mind and understands a lot about how it all works, and a few years ago would have gone without anybody thinking twice about it; but OTOH he would probably have skived his way through and all of you would have paid for him. FE needs a big shake up IMHO.

DS2 is only in Y8 - will cross that bridge when we come to it.

(DH has BSc in Computing Science but from a former Poly, not a uni. I also went to a Poly, did a 2-yr HND, failed Grin)

JanH · 20/05/2006 20:42

Or possibly HE (always get them mixed up)

Socci · 20/05/2006 20:42

I went to a good university but read theology and I feel that arts degrees are not much help these days unless you went to Oxbridge or want to teach your subject.

Dh went to Warwick (physics) but he didn't complete his degree. He said he had no drive at the time and went because of pressure from his parents.

I think it is important to consider what you are going to study and whether it would actually be useful. I believe that maths and science will get you further than anything else generally, simply because fewer people are good at them. I have a friend who graduated 5 years ago and she is still struggling to find a job now.

puff · 20/05/2006 20:43

...forgot to say, we will of course be brainwashing them into careers in which they earn squillions and being respectful children, know how to look after their ol' Mum and Dad