Geeky DD wants to go to Cambridge but won't make the effort socially........(sorry long)

[Bossybritches22]

Ok sorry for the ramble!
DD1 is a sweet natured,bright girl, always been straight A* student from primary, but inclined to hide behind her books rather than socialise. Walks around welded to the latest tome rather than talk. Doesn't help that we live in the country & DD2 is only 2 yrs younger & they get on well, & they don't get the chance to socialise much with peers. That said we've always made the effort to encourage her to have friends home or to go into town to meet up with her "gang", but unlike DD2 she doesn't seem bothered.

Her interests are all Geeky ones, crafts,knitting, watching TV nothing to set her personal statement alight if she wants to get into a RG uni. Part of me doesn't want to push her too much but the other part thinks that IF she got in to somewhere like Cambridge, she'd be with other like minded students, (her one friend is going there apparently) socially there would be smaller groups of folk on her wavelength (hopefully) & if I'm paying £9k to any Uni I'd rather it was Cambridge than the local poly-turned- Uni. (sorry to sound a snob)

Also being a single parent, I'm told they have private burseries which can help a lot.

Dd wants to do either Linguistics or Classics. She is doing A-level English Lang & Lit, Biology (because she wanted to do Human Biology but they don't do it at her school) & Classic Civilisation. I'm going to have a chat with her form tutor soon, I despair of getting her to DO anything outside the house. If I suggest anything she says "mmmn maybe"

She has a lovely group of chums in her year, she's always talking about them, & when they all came over for her birthday (I nearly fell over when she asked, that was a first) it was so lovely to have a house full of teenagers doing normal pizza/DVD/sleepover stuff but although she enjoyed it we've never persuaded her to repeat it.

I'd hate her to waste her brain & miss her opportunity just because of lack of effort on her part & equally ,although I could arrange more I feel SHE should take responsibility for developing her own hobbies/social activities. She has always been painfully shy & yet delightfully articulate when talking within her comfort zone to folk she knows. She is great fun to be with, but although I enjoy her company,I'd hate her never to leave home!

Any advice welcome!

Thanks for the extra updates all.

Yes I'm very proud of her, she is a sweetie & has actually come out of her shell quite a bit over the last year. I call her my hermit-crab & she is quite happy to be one.

She did Latin for GCSE & got an A* but sadly her school don't do it for A-level, we may have to do something OU. We'll have a good browse of the course literature & see what's required, she's quite happy to do the 4-year course Classics if needs be. I'm happy to visit as many colleges as we can fit in to help her make her choice, her Dad is really not interested in helping, (but that's another thread!) To me it's vital that it's a college (whether Camb or other) that she feels is for her, regardless of my feelings, although we have similar views on a lot of things.

We have a parents evening soon so a good chat with her tutors will help, they are all very supportive.

We are both aware that Cambridge might be a pipe dream, but nothing ventured! I have always taught my DD's that anything is possible if they work hard & want it enough. (DD2 wants to be an astronaut.....any takers for advice on that in a few years???!!)

yes I would like to know more too, unimother I have read but not really believed in their existence till you posted. What do you do? who do you mentor? Does it make a difference?is it subject specific? Being nosy as usual, not because I have any vested interest at all, just curious and also admiring. It sounds good, and much better potentially than out of date opinionated mums like me.

Plug: My DD (along with many others) is in this Greek play in Oxford soon- it is fab your DD will love it

www.ogp2011.com/

'An event piece of theatre which you will see only once or twice in a lifetime'

Actually I saw an Oxford Greek play production as a sixth former many years ago and never forgot it!

The radio interview is nice to listen to.

www.ogp2011.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Clytemnestra-Press-Release-1-10-11.pdf

yellowstone/funnyperson if you look at unimother's twitter link you'll see that mentor = person who runs courses on/ writes books about "how to get into oxbridge"

webwiz I'm having trouble with the link. Is this a commercial thing or altruistic? I'm dubious in the extreme about the commercial ventures (although I've benefited from a large cache of free 'oxbridge applications' biros which were handed out at some local UCAS fair. Nice royal blue colour and write well. DS got twenty or so).

Well done your DD funnyperson, in a production already? That's hugely impressive, and in Greek!

Its commercial Yellowstone

I'm impressed by the Greek play as well!

Yes the Greek play is impressive- DD's part is, however, a modest 'fury' of whom I gather there are many, and in any case they wear masks and I'm not sure how much greek they speak! All good fun and experience though, and her old (young actually) classics teacher is coming to watch with the current sixth form class from school which is nice. She is thrilled because she did the play at A level. She is, also in the 'cuppers' drama competition: important speaking part and rather more personal time invested as only a small cast and entirely produced by freshers.
Luckily she got used to this sort of thing at school as she did drama and classics at A level in addition to the sciences/maths which are her actual basis for her psychology degree. However the extra currics were two lines or so on the ps though I think she wrote an essay on the psychological morbidity of Ulysses (or someone) at one point. Sorry to be off topic.

Yellowstone, student mentors, like mothers, come in various shapes, but I have for many years mentored state school students defined as gifted by their schools. If they also work hard and achieve top grades, they are encouraged to apply to Oxbridge. Most of the students come from disadvantaged groups and the mentoring process is not just designed to give them confidence and a sence of the options open to them, but also to strengthen their academic base. A good proportion of the students do get into Oxbridge, but the experience has taught me that admissions can be a snakes-and-ladders game: those who win tend to be from families who ask around and plan ahead.

A short follow-up: as a couple of posters disapprove of things ?commercial?, I must confess that I am indeed a writer of books (one of which is designed to help Oxbridge applicants), as well as the mother of an Oxford graduate. However, my tweeted Oxbridge entrance advice is free. It?s not a product but something I hope will benefit people without any Oxbridge friends or experience.

Bossybritches - Oxford/Cambridge is full of people like your DD. She will fit right in and find her place. Most of the Lecturers and Professors are like this for a start.

Extra curricular activities matter not a jot. It is how she thinks, how she expresses herself, and her love of her subject that matters.

nothing wrong with offering a commercial service to those who wish to pay for it. Incidentally oxbridge applications also do some free advice on their website and this year gave out some free copies of tell me about a banana.

The courses at Oxford 'Literae Humaniores IIa or b' sound right up your DD's street (I did IIb in the very first year it ran so am a bit biased). It's a classics course for those who have ancient languages to GCSE but not beyond. The lectures, tutorials and exams are the same as standard classics, except that she would study only one language and take extra language lessons until mods (2nd yr exams) then can pick up the other language for greats (finals) if she wants to. IIa is the one with Latin and IIb is the one with Greek. She would need English Literature, Classical Civilisation or Ancient History and a modern language at A-level.

Alternatively, if she's a digger she might like Archaeology and Anthropology at Cambridge (the Biology would be great for that). The Ancient History course at Kings, London is also amazing and a lot of graduates go on to post-grad at Oxbridge.

It sounds as if she has a great chance of getting in - academic, keen, thoughtful. That's what they like.

What you say is interesting unimother, I've not come across anyone who's used oxbridge applications or similar. I'm wondering what background you have that gives you particular insight into the admissions process? I'm genuinely curious, though have to admit to a strong antipathy towards these ventures in general, on all sorts of grounds (though in fact I think this sort of commercial advice adds very little to the merit of the sort of applicant that can afford to pay for the service, despite the PR; I certainly hope that I'm right!).

Have you taught at either university for example, or been directly involved in admissions or worked with the Sutton Trust or advised on UCAS within a school context? I'm still having problems with your link, where I could no doubt find the information :(

Business ventures exploit a market as I understand it.
I think its OK for unimum to write a book if she wants, just as its OK for anyone to post on a thread like this; lets hope that readers always take advice with a pinch of salt.
I avoid buying extra stuff like the plague. I can't afford it. The prices for oxbridge interview courses are shocking.

I've just enjoyed my cornflakes reading the website of one of these organisations. I particularly like the idea of 'invitation only' services - presumably unrelated to the company's success rate statistics . You're absolutely right about the prices funny, but they're aimed at a very particular very monied market.

Anyhow, thank God for the excellent Oxford and Cambridge websites, the Sutton Trust/ UNIQ, and the experience and groundedness of the interviewing tutors.

My prejudice is now even more firmly entrenched! :)

Bossybritches22 - if you are still reading the bursaries at Oxford and Cambridge do tend to be more generous so it worth your daughter considering if she's be happy there. The Sutton Trust/UNIQ are limited in who they will take with UNIQ having slightly wider criteria. There is a shadowing scheme for Cambridge and your daughter might want to look at it www.applytocambridge.com/shadowing/ The scheme offers free accommodation and meals and if your child qualifies Sutton Trust/UNIQ are also free.

I wouldn't say we'd found any book invaluable (but perhaps we haven't read unimother's). However we were grateful for the free copy of Tell Me About a Banana and would recommend the free online resources on the Oxbridge Applications website www.oxbridgeapplications.com/

I can't remember if anyone has already mentioned that Cambridge do expect to see very high module marks at AS level, but your child will know those results before she needs to apply.

Do start to think about colleges now so that if she can get onto a shadowing scheme/summer school she can look around.

Yes, the Trinity College website is particularly candid about the standards required. Some sources on MN have stated incorrectly that Cambridge routinely accepts students with moderate grades, which is simply not true.

I've had a look now at the reviews for the books on the Amazon website. Some come with health warnings along the line of funny's, only stronger. The new websites are faultless, you really don't need more.

The week long Sutton Trust (Cambridge) and UNIQ (Oxford) summer schools require high grades too and might be hard to get onto if your DD's school has a good track record of sending pupils to either university. UNIQ is a helpful one to apply to anyhow as it will require her to write a PS - good practice!

Ahhh yes: oxbridgeapplications dotcom. Hmmm. I seem to remember my nephew going for interview practice at vast cost. He didnt get in. I very recently read a certain thread on tsr where they recruit oxbridge grads, to give the practice: it is illuminating to note that apparently they ask the said oxbridge grads not to give any tips. Only feedback.
rofl.

Just to update you lovely lot!

Inspired by all this info DD1 & I have been Talking Seriously.

She has decided she wants to do Classics,understands we may have to try & get her some latin A-level coaching privately to bring her up to speed. (possibly dropping Eng Lang or Biology as she'll struggle with 5 A's I would think?) She could then do the 4 year course as she has no Greek.

She has looked into doing OU Latin and is talking to her tutors about it, we are both going to her parents evening next Tues to seek their advice.

She has found out that the school do an "Enrichment programme" for Y 12's & she is going to do an essay project on a topic with a Classics bias.

Her Class Civ tutor has advised her to go in for a competition that Trinity (?) do every year & last year one of his students won it. ( She is now doing Classics at Cam. not just because of that but it helped I s'pose!) It involves an essay on one of 5 topics, very loosely classics related but needs to refer to & quote from Classical sources. £300 first prize!

She is also applying for a Classics summer school at Eton next year where she can do an intensive Latin/ Latinwith Greek/ Greek course.

I gave her the list of all the links you kindly gave me & I have given her 2 weeks to look at & shortlist a few colleges she would like to visit. She has done a spreadsheet with all the details, pros & cons!

Wow what a change....it's like someones lit the blue touchpaper under her!!

The MN collective have done it again, thank you, thank you!

Good luck-I wish her well.

before she drops a subject she should take a good hard look at the courses she thinks she might want to apply for and the subjects they require/prefer. If she really wants to go to Cambridge you'll also need to look at college requirements as they can vary (and not all colleges may take Classics students). Cambridge only require 3 A levels and the outreach person was quite clear that if a 4th A level might mean you didn't get great grades it was better to drop the 4th subject after AS. I suspect biology won't feature on the required list but do check carefully.

Although many employers don't care what subject a degree is in she might also want to give a passing thought to what she might do afterwards.

Some teachers keep in touch with past pupils and if there is an ex-pupil at Cambridge doing Classics they might pass your child's contact details on to get some inside advice . The deadline for the shadowing scheme is very early December if she wants to try that one.

Thanks Ellisbell-yes we are weighing up the pros & cons, as her thoughts become more clear on future plans.

So much easier if they KNOW what they want to do!!!