Geeky DD wants to go to Cambridge but won't make the effort socially........(sorry long)

[Bossybritches22]

Ok sorry for the ramble!
DD1 is a sweet natured,bright girl, always been straight A* student from primary, but inclined to hide behind her books rather than socialise. Walks around welded to the latest tome rather than talk. Doesn't help that we live in the country & DD2 is only 2 yrs younger & they get on well, & they don't get the chance to socialise much with peers. That said we've always made the effort to encourage her to have friends home or to go into town to meet up with her "gang", but unlike DD2 she doesn't seem bothered.

Her interests are all Geeky ones, crafts,knitting, watching TV nothing to set her personal statement alight if she wants to get into a RG uni. Part of me doesn't want to push her too much but the other part thinks that IF she got in to somewhere like Cambridge, she'd be with other like minded students, (her one friend is going there apparently) socially there would be smaller groups of folk on her wavelength (hopefully) & if I'm paying £9k to any Uni I'd rather it was Cambridge than the local poly-turned- Uni. (sorry to sound a snob)

Also being a single parent, I'm told they have private burseries which can help a lot.

Dd wants to do either Linguistics or Classics. She is doing A-level English Lang & Lit, Biology (because she wanted to do Human Biology but they don't do it at her school) & Classic Civilisation. I'm going to have a chat with her form tutor soon, I despair of getting her to DO anything outside the house. If I suggest anything she says "mmmn maybe"

She has a lovely group of chums in her year, she's always talking about them, & when they all came over for her birthday (I nearly fell over when she asked, that was a first) it was so lovely to have a house full of teenagers doing normal pizza/DVD/sleepover stuff but although she enjoyed it we've never persuaded her to repeat it.

I'd hate her to waste her brain & miss her opportunity just because of lack of effort on her part & equally ,although I could arrange more I feel SHE should take responsibility for developing her own hobbies/social activities. She has always been painfully shy & yet delightfully articulate when talking within her comfort zone to folk she knows. She is great fun to be with, but although I enjoy her company,I'd hate her never to leave home!

Any advice welcome!

In my personal experience (Oxford) and from advice on here, Oxbridge and RG universities really don't care about your extra curriculars in your personal statement - I have to agree my fellow students didn't have extra special personal acheivements under their belts. They are interested in your feeling for and interest in your proposed subject.

Always a good idea to encourage interests, but having her nose in a book could be the best way to get into a top uni! Good luck.

I've done RG admissions for many years. Not yet rejected someone for lack of extra curricular stuff.

It is definitely the academics they are concerned with. (Sent you a PM)

What year is she in? If she wants to maximise her chance og getting into Cambridge or similar it might be good idea to have a language at a2l level

This idea that they have to be wonderful socially confident all-rounders for Oxbridge is a complete myth. They have to be very bright and genuinely interested in their subject. In practice a lot of them will be Head Girl at their school, grade 8 distinction violin etc, but it's not a requirement - plenty will be geeky types.

If she wants to do Classics, get her to go to a JACT summer school here. She will be in heaven, surrounded by other booky types, and it will help no end with the Oxbridge application.

Also, if she's doing Classics, she will be fine whether she's at Oxbridge or not - the atmosphere among the students is not so different.

Thanks ladies (esp Milliways).....and breathe......

sarky thanks that's good to know!

whichwith she's just starting 6th form. She has thought about dropping English Lang for French but is really enjoying it!

Can't tell you what a relief this is, she's such a lovely girl but a bit of a loner & VERY bookish (as was/am I we're all bookworms in my family!)

Elderberry Sounds fab!
I'll get her to have a look at the summer school stuff & get booking!

She went on a visit to Silchester Town Life Project (roman dig) with my mum recently, as Mum lives nearby. Apparently they do a summer dig camp for 6 weeks where all sorts of students can go & volunteer to help.They learn loads & have a "mini-glastonbury" in a nearby field so they all camp together. She's vaguely interested in that. [hmmm]

Grandma could always pick her up for the night if it got too cold or filthy!

Thanks all.

Cambridge have a list of preferred a level subjects for each course and I would check that her choices meet this, it would just be really sad if she missed out. Also echo echo what everyone else says. Geeks are what we (lecturers) want

Thanks for that WW -I shall tell her so!

You could be my mum speaking 20 years ago. Academia/Cambridge is made for, and populated by geeks. (I knitted several sweaters whilst I was there ). I bet they will look at her and think "good researcher potential".

Seriously she is more likely to find her niche somewhere like that than a mainstream beer swilling type university. There will be loads more people on her wavelength than in the average sixth form.

Agree with all the above and would add that IME some colleges/subjects seem to care more/less about extra-curricular stuff so worth reading college prospectuses carefully for indications and maybe asking those questions at an open day if you can get to one.

FWIW I was so disheartened when I went to my interview at Cambridge (approx within last decade ) and it seemed like all the other candidates were in the school orchestra/debating society/head girl etc. I was convinced I had no chance but it seems they liked my geeky charm! Or rather, they weren't putting as much emphasis on those things as I'd assumed.

mammonite my thoughts exactly!!! She'd be SO out of her comfort zone at a mainstream Uni. Glad to hear knitting was done.

One of her current obsessions is Doctor Who (past & present -she has a very healthy crush on David Tennant.) She has knitted an 8' scarf a la Tom Baker
following the exact same pattern- did I mention she is slightly OCD-ish too??!

citizenoscar I think we shall troop off to as many college open days as possible & ask those questions.

Thanks - I know I shouldn't be clucky Mum but she's always been my geeky girl & quite enjoys being different, I just want her to be happy & stretched.

It's quite interesting to see how for the first time she is being challenged, with the work at A-level, she has an almost photographic memory & I think breezed her GCSE's because of this. However with there being less right/wrong answers & more research,discussion & debate she is really being pushed. She is knackered but enjoying it!

She needs to read beyond A level in her chosen subject to increase her chances of cambridge. If she has a way to demonstrate that she has done this it would be great (might be worth checking out the local uni to see if there are any public lectures she could attend for example).

Eta - ours runs a series of open lectures at 5pm

I'm an Oxford tutor (but not for English) and can confirm that most tutors put little or no emphasis on extra-curricular activities. Have a look at the selection criteria online - I doubt such activities are mentioned. It is all about academic potential and curiosity, so spending all her time reading is probably much more useful (depending on what she is reading).

Could she join some kind of reading group at school or elsewhere to help her with discussing the books she is reading?

Whoops - sorry - don't know why I thought she wanted to do English.

Anyway, same goes for Classics. Plus it's far less competitive than English - they are desperate for good state school students who want to do Classics as there are so few. There are recommended summer schools for those who haven't studied Latin/Greek - there will be details on the Oxford and Cambridge websites.

Also to say that the Cambridge/college setup is much more supportive and personal than some other universities where there is a lot of living out. I would suggest looking at a smaller central college like Clare or Trinity Hall or Emmanuel where you can feel in the flow of things without having to be immensely outgoing.

Have pm'd you.

Is she in year 12? If so just check the Cambridge websites for the courses she is interested in and make sure her A levels are ok. It would be an awful shame if her chances were scuppered by her subject choices and doing 3 AS levels. If in doubt phone the admissions tutors to check. Her school may not have given her the right advice.

irregular thanks for that advice, English may still yet be her choice, she is still unsure about what to plump for & we're looking at lots of different courses.

Mammonite Yes I get the impression that the small & friendly aspect is a plus for Cambridge & for DD it's a draw.

KPT thanks have replied!

Lazymum she's just started Y11 so we have a little time yet.
I did wonder whether doing English Lit AND Lang seperately would work with her Class Civ & Biology , we are talking to the teachers soon. She is really enjoying them all. Her school are quite good at giving support & coaching for applications & have regular visiting lecurers who help give inside tips & do mock interviews so hopefully that will help too.

Wonderful advice here, thanks again everyone, I shall be back with more questions I am sure!

You've had some expert advice from the horse's mouth, so to speak; my experience is merely anecdotal but here it is for what it's worth.

My son read English at Oxford. He, too, was very bookish (don't like the term 'geeky' - it has a derogatory sense and there's nothing to be ashamed of in a love of learning, and, in your daughter's case, quiet occupations).

He had a mixed bunch of friends (including one reprobate who set the bowling pavilion in the local park ablaze whilst out of his head on drugs - oh dear) but couldn't be bothered with extra-curricular stuff. He cobbled together a few semi-respectable-sounding interests on his entry form but he needn't have bothered - all his interviewers were interested in were his reading and knowledge of his subject.

He loved his time at Oxford and I bet your daughter would, too.

I spent my time despairing because DS didn't have anything much to go on his personal statement and he just wouldn't go out and do anything. He however knew exactly what he wanted to do and was passionate about it.He got his place-(not Oxbridge but his first choice.)

Roxy I'm with you about the "geeky" label but it seems to be an affectionate if teasing term, in her year not derogatory so it's stuck!

She is one of a group who call themselves the Gorgeous Geeks

She is a voracious reader & is starting to read outside the subjects so hopefully will be able to impress!

exotic Frustrating isn't it???? Looks like the main thing is to be passionate then, great stuff thanks!

She'll be OK as long as she can talk with insight and passion about her subject to fellow geeks (for they will be the ones interviewing her).

Edith

If there's a fellow Dr Who/Terry Pratchett/Sci-Fi geek then she'll be fine.....

No by then hopefully she'll be able to talk passionately about her subjects, she's quite animated talking about her coursework now.