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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

A Level Anxiety

895 replies

Toffee22 · 14/08/2011 22:42

Only 4 more "sleeps" until the A level results come out - not that I will be doing much sleeping...

Eldest son wants to study medicine. 3 "A's" required no slip ups allowed. Have just checked and most medical schools don't accept re-sits. How can I face looking at the cold hard facts at some point on Thursday. I'm sure it will be difficult for my son too! When I tried to talk to him about it today instead of a response he said he would do an "impression of a tree". It wasn't even a very good impression. What does this mean?

OP posts:
thekidsmom · 17/08/2011 08:52

Looks like I missed a bit of a bun fight yesterday evening! Glad
I was hosting 5 result pending girls instead - was calmer here!!!

Just came on to say, did anyone answer ponders Q about track updating?

A UCAS admin person came on The Student Room yesterday and said they will update as usual between 7.30 and 8am and then again at noon and at 2pm. So not everyone will be in the first batch of updates early on but there is a good chance we can see it then. She also said that UCAS will be manning the phones from 7am, but will only answer technical queries (like 'I've forgotten my log in code') and not give out details.

And for those whose kids are going away tomorrow instead of staying fro results - AARGH!!! - but apart from that, get them to give you thier log in code and look yourself... and for clearing, you can always star the ball rolling and send emails in their name....

funnyperson · 17/08/2011 09:23

Why do threads always gets more interesting when I am not around?

funnyperson · 17/08/2011 09:23

sorry-get

Changebagsandgladrags · 17/08/2011 09:32

My parents were on holiday when the A-level results came out. I think I will do the same...

Good luck to everyone, I hope there are loads of whoopy threads tomorrow Grin

DoctorDoctor · 17/08/2011 09:44

Hi all, as a lecturer my advice is to ring clearing early. My colleagues who are taking calls tomorrow will be available from 7.30am and are expecting to fill the small number of places offered in clearing by lunchtime. It's also expected that we will be looking for higher grades than the standard course offer because of the competitiveness of clearing this year. That said, don't panic: get your DC to stay calm, say their piece about what they hope to get out of the course and what they're good at, and if grades were slightly disappointing, to say why they think it went wrong and how they will combat that at university. It's very important that hey speak for themselves too. We often have parents wanting to do the talking or starting off the call, who don't ever seem to think how it would come across if, say, their spouse or partner did the talking for them at a job interview.

On the stress front, I will also say that I've gained many qualifications since my A levels and nothing has ever been as stressful as the night before and the morning waiting for school to open to get results - no mobiles or internet in those days to speed it all up either. It is a very fraught time. Of course you will all still love them regardless and they will find the path that's right for them, but don't feel bad for feeling stressed at this time.

Hoping for the best for you all.

ImperialBlether · 17/08/2011 09:48

I teach A levels and would second that.

And when they say what went wrong, they should be very careful about blaming their teachers! It's one thing to say, "There were 25 in our class and our teacher wasn't able to give us any individual help with our coursework" but it's another to say, "My teacher was rubbish."

They shouldn't make anything up (as above) as it's easy to discover cohort numbers.

jugglingwiththreeshoes · 17/08/2011 09:49

I was away for my "O" and "A" level results. Everyone was so much more relaxed back in the 80's Smile It was nice to have an interesting envelope to open when I got home, especially as I was lucky enough to get just what I needed to go to Bristol. The only advisor I spoke to before-hand said "Just go somewhere" and I think they had a point, though it's good to choose a subject you actually like, and if you've an idea what you might do afterwards I'd say that's a bonus !

Original poster
Toffee22 · 17/08/2011 09:56

A1980

"From the OP: How can I face looking at the cold hard facts at some point on Thursday. I'm sure it will be difficult for my son too!

I remember being 18 and absolutely hating that my mother would take my stress, my nerves and turn them into hers and she would get as wound up and stressed out as me. it absolutely did not help. I took the view she had no right to be stressed out as it was my life it was going to affect, not hers. Something you should all consider."

A level results can be a life changing crossroads. You are very lucky to have a mother that cared about you.

Like it or not being a mother does involve taking the stress, pain, dissapointment (and hopefully joy, happiness and achievement) of your child and making it your own. Thats what being a mother (to me anyway) means. It is perhaps a one way process as some children may not experience the same connection.

As to my sons results. If he fails it will be hugely dissapointing for him and will probably prevent him from following a chosen career path. I'm his mum so pass or fail I'll continue to believe he's the best - thats something that so obvious I shouldn't have to say it... But its the worry that I may have to handle my sons/my/our dissapointment that is scary. He I'm sure is feeling the same.

The more I think of it his "impression of a tree" was probably a very intelligent response to the stress of the situation...

OP posts:
CafeZero · 17/08/2011 10:05

Hi everyone, I've just found you all, after a sleepless night here. Haven't had chance to read everyone yet, but will do when I get back from work. Mine is third and final DD and we need AAB for Durham. Thought I'd be past all this by now but the anxiety is massive. Worst of it is I'm dreading her going, but desperate for her as well. T'will be another long night I fear....

carpwidow · 17/08/2011 10:06

Well said Toffee. Also, I wonder if A1980's mother had a forum such as this to share her worries, concerns and anxieties. I think not. As I said before, I am assured knowing that you are all here and that I can vent my stresses without DS having a clue how I'm feeling and therefore remain outwardly calm and relaxed about the whole thing. I think it's called therapy.

thekidsmom · 17/08/2011 10:15

exactly right, carpwidow - we can say all of this here so our DCs get the calm and supportive side of us today...

mountaingirl · 17/08/2011 10:21

Ds1 has just asked me a few minutes ago very casually "When do the results come out?". Shock

He is waiting for his A2 in French and all his GCSE's.

I wonder if he was asking me that in the hope that I would say "I have no idea darling?!!!" Bloody hell, it doesn't bode well.

adamschic · 17/08/2011 10:29

Just out of interest re blaming the school/teachers etc. How about a class of 15 with results of 4 x A's and the rest E's and U's. The students with the A's are resitters having private tuition. How would you communicate this when you were the one with the E or U at AS level result on your record.

Mine thinks she will be one with the E or U and is going to do a different AS level subject next year but obviously she will have to declare this result.

FellatioNelson · 17/08/2011 10:33

We need to not look at is a 'failing' either. I'm sure many kids won't get the required results to go in the direction the wanted but it doesn't make them failures, it just means they need to re-set their sat navs to a different direction that brings a different set of opportunities. Fo many, many young people (probably my son included - he has no idea what he wants to do/be in the future) it is debatable whether having a degree will make any difference to his future financial security anyway once all things have been factored into the equation.

Anyway, it doesn't matter whether our lovely young people are aiming for medicine at Oxbridge or Graffiti Studies at the University of Plumstead. Or whether they are moving 500 miles from home, or staying put and going to the college-cum-uni down the road. They are embarking on a wonderful new journey full of hope and adventure and challenge, and if nothing else it will turn them into well-rounded, self-sufficient responsible adults who will meet loads of new friends from all walks of life, and from all over the world.

I wish all of them everything they would wish for themselves. Most of all I wish for them that by the time they've graduated we've sorted out the mess we've made of their country so they can have a job, and a future and can afford a family and a home of their own.

carpwidow · 17/08/2011 10:33

I'm confused adamschic. If 11 of them are predicted E or U have you not done anything about this before? What subject is this?

Yellowstone · 17/08/2011 10:35

Completely agree with carp: mine know I'm very involved because they can see I'm thrilled when results and interviews go well but when things go pear-shaped I try to shrug and launch into as productive a Plan B as I can dredge up. On my own, I worry hugely if things are bad and they're unhappy, any normal mother would.

Pagwatch it was exactly the same last year, all the talk was that UCAS wouldn't update until noon, but DD2 saw her place confirmed at around 8am (then assumed it was a mistake).

eatyourveg there's certainly that chance. Hence flying into school as early as possible which is what mine make me do each time. At our school the Head of Sixth spends from early morning trying hard to persuade first choice universities to take students who've missed their grades; they manage it much more often than not.

adamschic · 17/08/2011 10:43

carpwidow, believe it or not these were actual results last year at AS level. Predictions were A-C. School have acknowledged that they have a problem in this dept. and I must admit that we didn't check properly and tbh wouldn't have realised about the resitters and private tuition. This has only come out since most got bad grades in January modules.

Don't want to out the school by saying which subject, enough to say it's not an arts or humanities. Wink

jgbmum · 17/08/2011 10:50

Fellatio - lovely post Smile

DizzIzz · 17/08/2011 11:03

Just wanted to say that I have been following this thread all week as I am waiting for my daughter's GCSE results next Thurs. Thankfully I will only have to do this once as she is an only child, but I am anxious (I know it will be far worse on 2 years time).

Good luck to all of you for tomorrow and I do hope that tonight goes as quickly as possible. I look forward to reading your updates tomorrow and hopefully they will be all good ones. Sleep well.

sieglinde · 17/08/2011 11:07

I hate to add to the worry, Dizz, as I too wait for one AS and ten GCSEs for ds, but GCSE results are increasingly important for university places.... I think this ridiculous, myself, but it's true, unfortunately. Let's start a Supportive Thread next week too.

carpwidow · 17/08/2011 11:14

Fellatio - Do you know if the grafitti studies at Plumstead is available through clearing? I quite fancy re-setting my own sat-nav and doing this one myself!!;)

Yellowstone · 17/08/2011 11:16

I find GCSE's far worse Dizz, that's when the die is cast. I'm not so worried about tomorrows A's or AS's but extremely apprehensive about next week especially since our school takes tham all in Y10 and I'm not sure this particular DS was ready.

But I do think results days get much easier when you get to be an old lag like me. The first GCSE results (2006) were the worst by far.

FellatioNelson · 17/08/2011 11:19

Well I know ytou can do surfing studies and festival studies, so it wouldn't surprise me at all!

sieglinde · 17/08/2011 11:48

Yes, Yellowstone, my point exactly. DS and I are especially dreading one result. He stupidly did Mandarin and didn't do anything like enough work for it - you have to be a kind of tiger baby.... A C will not look good on his Oxbridge application... and this is where he plans to go. Sad

funnyperson · 17/08/2011 11:52

I am feeling a bit worried as I just checked the ocr grade boundaries and those for classics are quite high. I have a cold feeling round my heart. I am not telling DD.
The Telegraph tomorrow is the newspaper to buy apparently.