Parent of oxbridge candidate-peersupportneeded

[funnyperson]

OK so my DD is applying to Oxford for entry in 2011 and has a 75% chance of getting rejected so I am told by the Oxford website so I reckon a new thread would be helpful for us parents who may end up with joy or grief but in any event need to keep sane enough to support our loved ones. Any tips on maximising chances of success at this stage?

Ah but Betelguese they also need to demonstrate the ability to go through huge quantities of alcohol/ latest films / Chelsea scores....which my DS in particular says is all very demanding....

Seriously, I am sure you are right - the attraction of an Oxbridge graduate for prospective employers must be the confidence they can have that s/he has a proven track record in getting to grips with problems and for working long and hard.

But graduates from other universities can show that too....

networking is the word, betelguese

I understand that Oxford (& Cambridge) are networks par excellence

well, yes, it can be, but the Oxbridge networks have the longest twiniest tentacles of all, & graduates from there hit the ground running

You've been having a discussion about York in the last few pages.... DD is still waiting to hear from York for English and is really really keen to go there!

I went there more than 25 years ago and loved it.

You mentioned the colleges there being just halls of residence... although they are not Oxbridge or Durham they are more colleges than halls, I think.

Even if you dont live in college you still belong to a college and your social and sporting life will revolve around your college - that's unlike my DS's experience at Bristol, say - he's not been back to his hall since he left at the end of the first year and doesnt expect to.

So I think York does offer a collegiate life for the duration of your time there, which makes it seem small and caring which would be good for my DD...

And a few pages back you were all talking about disappointments and happy faces around your schools. Funny how it goes. My DD's school had a bad ish Oxford and a brilliant Cambridge but the boys school (of mainly brothers, so very similar) had a brilliant Oxford and a seemingly disastrous Cambridge (but that was before all the pool news was in). So it looks like there's no pattern at all sometimes....

And I liked the comment about children we've seen trip up in nativity costumes now going on to be doctors and lawyers... I very much felt all of that myself when DD's friends got their good news letters... it was just yesterday they were little!

Back home now and have had time to read the thread properly.
Betelguese/Sieglinde and fififi does the 45 hours of study include the lecture/tutorial time?
DS has masses to read because its all new International history and each week is a different country so easily 30 hours a week but not more and to be honest he has found it interesting but not very challenging. But so he has decided to learn an extra language and look at changing to joint honours. Also over the holidays has been applying for the famous spring internships which has been time consuming.
Essays tend to be short -2000 words. Tutorial assignments are extra and shorter. They do group stuff- which leads to a 10000 word dissertation.
I dont know about banking but in medicine the Cambridge graduates are not the most sought after because they can have difficulty with clinical team working. Having said that we had a superb junior manager who was a Cambridge history grad and really good at putting business cases together at short notice. DS says he thinks in banking it depends what sector. Some sectors eg emerging markets prefer students with international knowledge and who are comfortable with diversity, ie London graduates. What do you all think ? My very good friend's son graduated from Cambridge in the summer and says half his year group are still jobless - it is a tough time for them.

Can I just say how much I enjoy reading this thread?
It is not all boring.

I asked DD about Hogwarts

She says there is a Hogwarts dining hall in Wadham with refectory tables and all but mainly they eat in the cafeteria
Which college is your DD at fififi and what sort of little house does she live in? Does she live out of college because she is a second year?

Also without tempting fate can I ask people again about ball gowns?

We saw a lovely one in the Monsoon sale but DD wants to know do they wear short dresses- more modern - or below the knee frou frou and silk? Is black the thing or more summer colours?

2 into Cambridge to do medicine from the boys school: extremely nice and bright boys. Good team workers both.

Hi funnyp

DD is at Christchurch - so the real Hogwarts great hall - the sorting hat scene filmed in Christchurch's Dining Hall. Mentioned proudly on the College website.

She lives in a little house ( little being operative word) in Ship Street. Christchurch can accommodate students throughout the three years in college but rooms for most second years are a little way out I think. She opted for convenience of being right bang in the centre of Oxford ( but has to pay a higher than average rent for that). It seems to be working well and the house is a popular stop for the girls' friends for pre event drinks/post match coffees etc because they are so central. Next year I think she will return to college, although she will miss the self catering/dinner party throwing bit.

Ball gowns - from DD's stories the ball gown for the big May ball is long. DD said there were some amazing dresses on display ( money no object)( one friend she alleges went in a wedding dress ) but the classiest look was probably simple black. She decided to dress down a bit for the New college ball last year - wore a pale blue full length grecian style dress with flats and flowing curls. Which was fine. But she said there was lots of slinky black, sequins, hair up, heels....It's Christchurch's turn to host the ball this year so am exepcting a plea for help with a new dress any time soon.

I think there have been some formal dinners /semi ball type things too - she's worn a black maxi dress for one of those ( from ted baker, very simple and really only because maxi dresses "in" this year) and a short "party" dress for another. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules though and people wear what they like within reason.

Any news of the nephew?

And fififi realises that while betelguese can advise intelligently on post grad courses/the content of Maths A2s/networking opportunities her own role is to talk about Harry Potter and fashion trends.

I am unworthy...

DS 1 graduated from Nottm this year with a 1st in masters engineering (as I have said before on this site).
During his 2nd year he had a business idea that he proposed to his housemate who was quite an artistic character, and between them they put together an advertising leaflet for the new freshers for bars (!) , nightclubs, takeaways and taxi services in Nottm.
He returned to at weekends 3 times that summer calling into and trying to sell space on their flyer whilst working full time for his sponsoring company.
They printed off several thousand copies of this leaflet and were able to get a place at Freshers Fair through someone who had advertising space on the leaflet, but who offered DS and his friend 2spaces at their table for free for their adverts in the flyer ( a table at freshers would have cost £1200)
Ds and his friend made almost £2000 on this venture, but this is what DS thinks made him stand out in his job applications.
He did an internship at an investment bank ( yes sorry, already been shot down as a bright engineer into IB on mumsnet) last summer ( apparently 250 of the brightest people he has ever come across not only from UK universities, but worldwide were in this programme) and is about to start his graduate training programme next month.
I think it's not only the university you have been to, but what else you have done.
He was a Cambridge reject by the way (have said that before on this thread. )

...But compared to you all I know nothing about anything at Oxford (apart from the medical students and the JR of course)

Thanks a lot for the Hogwarts/dress lowdown

The dress DD tried on was like a sleeveless black meringue- sounds ideal from what you say, only as you can imagine it didn't go with the boho image so was cast aside. Perhaps I should retrieve it from the shop and keep it as a spare just in case.

Do the colleges take it in turn to host the May balls?
How much is the rent in Ship street? Is it a college house?

Betelguese - your perspicacity, articulation and indeed generosity is phenomenal.

We haven't rung my sister. Apparently when I rang on Sunday the poor chap jumped every time the phone rang and couldn't concentrate on his A level revision for Monday and still has a few more maths papers to sit this week- including on Friday when the Cambridge re-interviews for his subject are scheduled. So we are waiting for my sister to ring if he gets news. Sounds less likely as time goes on from all accounts.

Meanwhile DD UCAS track has finally updated- relief and continuing absolute happiness, bless her.
Though slight panic about maths , especially Stats2 is beginning. I have explained that a little bit of maths a day helps the brain reconnect in the right areas and it becomes easier.

The two boys (my DS and nephew) are without a doubt a lot brighter than even DD - golds in the maths olympiads and so forth- but DD has the emotional EQ factor. Interesting.

funnyp, DS2 informed me today that his UCAS track has updated and guess what - Oxford have rejected him again (that makes 3 times, after the email & then the letter)

Fingers crossed for your poor stressed nephew

fififi, DS2 has decided to apply to Exeter!!! He's going for Politics alone, not Pol/Phil (or Phil/Pol); his PS was heavy on Politics so I hope he'll have a chance.

Bearcat, your DS1 sounds as if he is going to do incredibly well in the world

My nephew has been rejected from the pool. My sister is of the opinion that as Cambridge was only one of his options this is no disaster and I agree with her. He has excellent offers from Bristol, Imperial, and Manchester for four year MSc programmes with a year abroad, and will probably choose Imperial.
It is true that all the Cambridge applicants have very good offers indeed from other universities -we can't think of anyone left stranded.
I can not quite see why it has taken so long for Cambridge to reach these decisions-some students are still to be reinterviewed - given that candidates were interviewed well before Christmas. I wonder if it would have been feasible to do all the pooling etc behind the scenes before Christmas and send candidates their final decision letters in the new year, instead of the current rather prolonged process with multiple notifications which impacts on January modules rather badly.

DD's ex boyfriend has found the whole thing really stressful.
But perhaps there are good reasons.
Girls seem to have a higher chance of being fished due to there being more places in girl's colleges in the pool. I don't know if that is a consistent generalisation
I looked up Balls and things and I must admit the Cambridge May balls seemed truly fantastic and probably memorable events.
However as we have a bit of a puritan work ethic in the family we all agree that the young ones would much rather go travelling with the hundreds of pounds saved.
I gathered that the Cambridge balls suffered in the recession of the early 1990's because students couldn't afford the tickets and wonder if this will happen again.
The formal dinners in Oxford do seem like good training in deportment for future diplomats though.[hmmm]
Perhaps I will buy DD a stunning silk chiffon ball gown when she actually gets her grades.

Ponders getting rejected thrice is a bit apocryphical. It is a definite decision then. Still better that than no communication at all.
If I was being subversive and impish I would suggest an Oxbridge UCAS boycott one year just to see what would happen.
Some years ago there was a sort of underground anti Great Ormond Street movement from the medical establishment in Sheffield. (nothing to do with me)
It was widely promoted that the Great Ormond Street lot were ivory tower, over funded, overprivileged and not in connection with the real world, notably the rest of England. In a way this was really important, because it did lead to the identification of gaps and expertise and the further development of excellent local children's hospitals rather than all resources draining to GOSH. However what goes around comes around. Some of the main protagonists a decade or so later transferred to ....yes, you guessed it....Great Ormond Street!
I am not subversive or impish though. Oxford and Cambridge are unique. Bright students who aspire and then don't get in are bound to be a bit disappointed, and so here is a [big friendly hug] for those bright students just for now.

School league tables are out

www.guardian.co.uk/education/school-tables

no, betelguese, he applied this year only, for PPE at Ox, & Pol/Phil (or v.v.) at York, Sheffield & LSE, & now Pol alone at Exeter.

He will def be going this autumn, wherever he goes, so no chance of trying again