Guest post: "We need to ask for help with mental health, before we hit rock bottom"

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I should have sought help for my mental health much earlier than I did. I'd convinced myself for years that I could cope, that I was okay, and that I really was the woman who always had a smile on my face. Last year, when I couldn't get out of bed and the tears refused to stop - I finally reached out.

If you had told me then that today I would be spearheading a campaign to raise mental health awareness, I'd have looked at you bewilderedly, turned over in bed and gone back to my incessant thoughts and seemingly endless tears. But it's true - I have begun something that has drawn people into conversation and allowed me to witness more bravery than I ever dreamed possible.

I have suffered with anxiety, panic attacks and OCD all my life. I had thoughts telling me that the people I loved would die if I didn't do a certain thing, think a certain thought or say a certain prayer. My panic attacks that would make me believe my heart was exploding and made me push away those I loved the most.

Last year, it reached a climax and to put it bluntly, floored me for approximately six to eight months. The problem with mental illness is that it's often only when you hit rock bottom that you seek help and begin to open up about it - because you have no other choice. Roughly one million people per year take their own lives. We have to reach people sooner.

I began the #itaffectsme campaign with the intention of giving people suffering with mental illness, and their friends and family, a voice. The campaign aims to reduce the stigma around mental health - because it does add to people's fear of speaking out. We should all be able to say "I have a mental illness" without being scared of the response.

The campaign encourages people to be open and honest. I am asking people to take a selfie with a post-it note on their head which says "#itaffectsme" on it. #itaffectsme is a simple declaration - stating that we have all known or will know mental illness in our lives. It might affect us, or family, or friends, or a stranger in the street. But the selfie puts faces to mental illness - we are not anonymous, and we are not embarrassed. Mental illness has no prejudices about who it affects, so we should have no prejudices about it.

The courage of people speaking out has struck me repeatedly. The first woman to contact me directly told me she was suffering with post-natal depression and that #itaffectsme had allowed her to speak to her husband about it for the first time. If this campaign has helped just one person to reach out then it is worth every single tear I have shed.

The three aims of the campaign are to get people talking, to get mental health education on the curriculum and to make the Prime Minister stick to his £1 billion pledge to mental health services. The government cut funding by £35 million last year, despite promises not to, and it is simply not good enough.

Though sticking a post-it note on your head may seem simple, there is bravery in acknowledging mental illness. But this is just the first step. The second is seeking help and the subsequent steps - accepting help and going through the process - can be very difficult, even with the support of family.

When I was at my lowest, what would have helped was for someone to be there and to say "Me too." That's what #itaffectsme is. It is the "me too" for everyone suffering, a reminder that you're not alone, and that if you speak out and get help it can pass and you can arm yourself for the future. You can be prepared to greet it like an old friend who you have history with but nothing in common any more, accept its presence and then when the time comes - because it will - send it on its way.

None of us are fixed, none of us are perfect but if we speak out we can let the rest of the world know that it is okay to do so. It is okay to not be okay.
#itaffectsme: Help us spread the word!

Text SUPPORT to 70660 to give £3 to Mind.

4 February is Time to Talk day - you can find out more here.

bit contentious obviously but as we 'raise awareness' and encourage everyone to go and see their doctors and get demand treatment for relatively minor problems how much longer do people with serious life threatening psychiatric illnesses languish on waiting lists?

there seems to be a prioritising of fast, cheap interventions for minor conditions over providing proper treatment, support and services for the most serious and chronic cases.

again, they make nice headlines and soundbites.

I actually agree. I wouldn't want anyone in serious MH crisis not getting prompt access to the right support, but equally I wouldn't want anyone with less high-risk MH issues feeling that they had nothing/nowhere to turn. I understand your resentment UbiquityTree and TheHoneyBadger, but that's the complexity of the NHS. I feel perhaps there is an ambition to provide funds for tackling 'relatively minor problems' because it's preventative/early intervention, etc. If more people can get to grips with their MH after relatively low-level/cheaper treatment, it may, in the long term, reduce pressure on services. In theory.

Personally, I feel the success of low-level treatments, such as counselling, CBT, psychotherapy are often determined by the patient themselves - there has to be a willingness and drive to help yourself. Which is why, again, I feel obliged, having personally benefited, to encourage upfront dialogue (or chatter?) about the subject. De-stigmatise. Make it feel okay to name the problems in your mind, even if its just to a friend or partner (sometimes that's all it takes). If this is done successfully, then ultimately, resources can be directed towards people who are not in a position to help themselves.

Where maternal health is concerned (which is my personal bug bear), I have to stress that it isn't a minor issues. Invariably, it isn't just the mother with postnatal depression/anxiety/post traumatic stress that is effected. It's her baby, her child/children/a future generation. This sort of thing, however minor, can break up families and create anxiety issues for children as they grow up. If left, it can get worst, and untreated, it can escalate into far more serious issues (suicide, chronic depression, etc), which, obviously, has an even bigger impact.

I wrote upthread about feeling a kind of resentment about people with minor or temporary conditions being urged to seek the same help as those with chronic and life-threatening conditions

But I don't understand how you make the distinction between a minor and temporary condition, without proper evaluation, which GPs can't give.

I've been in and out of my GP's surgery for several years; I did get 8 weeks of CBT on the NHS (helpful, but did not resolve the issues) and CBT therapist said right out that she could not help with the deeper issues. Both she and my GP then tried to get me a psychiatric referral for specialist treament and were told quite clearly that because I (on paper) belonged to the 'chattering classes' (my job was mentioned); then they had to concentrate on people who were in a worse position than me. In the same letter, they acknowledged the diagnosis. So, essentially in order to get help, I basically had to become completely non-functioning; whereas I was seeking it to avoid that scenario, being a single parent with two children. But it is hard to fault the logic of the decision if resources are stretched.

That said, I understand the reasoning and your frustration - I am never, ever going to argue that my mental health comes before someone who is so ill they need 24 hour care or a crisis team; nor am I going to argue that my illness should come before a life-threatening condition. But let's not then imagine that the NHS is available to all; or even that resources are evenly spread and distributed across the country.

there has to be a willingness and drive to help yourself.

yes that'll be the problem for people with serious conditions begging for treatment or support.

8 sessions of cbt didn't make you better or able to magically recover from bipolar 1/full blown ptsd/a whole childhood of abject abuse/insert issue? gosh you obviously didn't TRY hard enough.

any CPNs on the thread?

Both she and my GP then tried to get me a psychiatric referral for specialist treament and were told quite clearly that because I (on paper) belonged to the 'chattering classes' (my job was mentioned); then they had to concentrate on people who were in a worse position than me. In the same letter, they acknowledged the diagnosis. So, essentially in order to get help, I basically had to become completely non-functioning; whereas I was seeking it to avoid that scenario, being a single parent with two children. But it is hard to fault the logic of the decision if resources are stretched

That's a bloody disgrace, Romii. You know, I get sick of having to accept that the sainted NHS can only go so far so we need to put up and shut up. I know it's not their fault that cuts are happening and there are many, many dedicated practitioners out there who want to see real change. But even before the cuts MH provision in my area was woeful. Exactly what Honey describes - here are your six sessions of CBT, we know you've just started making progress but BYE! See you at the end of the next waiting list!

The whole system needs reworked, because if what's at the end of the waiting list isn't doing the job for plenty of people then it's not good enough.

"8 sessions of cbt didn't make you better or able to magically recover from bipolar 1/full blown ptsd/a whole childhood of abject abuse/insert issue? gosh you obviously didn't TRY hard enough." Damn straight!

"Personally, I feel the success of low-level treatments, such as counselling, CBT, psychotherapy are often determined by the patient themselves - there has to be a willingness and drive to help yourself." That's bloody offensive frankly! If you had any understanding of the difficulties of those dealing with anything requiring more than 8 sessions of CBT you wouldnt make such a crass statement! What people with mental illness DEFINITELY don't need is victim blaming - I know from personal experience and working in the NHS and voluntarily with the mentally ill that they are usually blaming themselves and feeling useless and a burden already!

and this is who the guardian gives space to to write about mental illness. nice one.

Baconyum and The Honeybadger, I think my words were misinterpreted. My apologies if I wasn't clear. I was trying to make the point that 'low-level' treatment for 'low-level' MH problems is more effective when patients are willing and ready to engage in a therapeutic process (I know this from years of working in the sector and taking training to certificate level in counselling) - this isn't a judgement on whether people are lazy/trying hard enough, but more a comment about wanting people to feel that there is no shame in asking for help. A big barrier to addressing MH for many people is that they don't want to admit they are struggling or that they have suspicions/misconceptions about the effects of different treatments. I see this isn't the case for you, and that you are fed up of asking support for more complex problems and are understandably angry and frustrated about what is lacking. For the record, I write for many newspapers, not just the Guardian. I may chatter quite a lot, but surely that's not much different to a rant on mumsnet?

UbiquityTree where did I say it was your fault?

Hey - everyone gets caught up in the selection bias sometimes...of course it would be somebody for whom a quick 'magical' treatment works that would be writing about it! And it is VERY easy to over extrapolate from powerful personal experiences.

That isn't her fault.

I think honey that I would agree with you except that minor easily treated MH problems can escalate and become major ones with time. So it really does make sense to put resource into stopping things from getting out of hand. Obviously treatment resistant cases or more complex cases do need serious investment also. But sorting the little stuff would make a huge difference to a huge number of people..relatively cheaply....and may save money for the tough cases in the long run.

please stop telling people they are angry or whatever other emotions you are claiming for them (including me). i'm surprised your counselling certificate (i have one too - i wouldn't claim it made one an expert in anything) didn't teach you how inappropriate it is to assume and name emotions for other people and how likely you are to be wrong if you do.

it's also a very cheap way of trying to discount people's opinions and thoughts by writing them off as emotional.

maybe get a refund on those course fees

"maybe get a refund on those course fees" definitely!!

Louisa the difference is you're purporting to be an expert by virtue of your personal experience (which is extremely limited, privileged and lucky) and being published in a broadsheet (which to some will be seen as validation).

The article is trite and frankly useless.

First. Yes, getting the help you need is EXTREMELY difficult in the vast majority of the country. Mental health services themselves used to be abysmal, and unfortunately, as the services and treatment themselves improved, the funding for them was slashed which means they are much much harder to come by.

I'm lucky that I work for a Trust that see's early intervention in the form if short term therapy as a very important part of its work to prevent minor issues becoming major issues. But from my work, I know this is rare.

The problem area is the "middle ground". You need more than a short term intervention, but your life (or life of those around you) isn't at threat. There simply isn't the availability of services for that situation.

There is still stigma involved. I wish there wasn't. I'm don't go around wearing a badge exclaiming my mental illness. For one, I am quite sure my in laws would disown me.
But campaigns where people are encouraged to talk openly about their issues are important. No, it won't fix the NHS. But if it makes one person feel less alone, then to me, it's brilliant. If people like Louisa share their story, brilliant.. It might help a struggling mum ask for help. It might make someone Google IAPT and help them to ask their GP about whether IAPT could help them.

Over the last 20 years I have been involved in various paid and voluntary work to try and improve mental health services.. I've advised Trusts, trained professionals, worked with the government around policy. I've spent the last 8 years working with other service users to get them involved in service improvement.. And I have seen HUGE improvements.. I hope to see even more over the next 20 years.

Unfortunately though, the best way to get the care and treatment needed is to fight for it. To become an expert in your own care and treatment.. Use people like MIND to help you get what you need. It's very unfair that it needs to be this way.

I wish you all, who need it, had to excellent mental health care. It truly makes me sad that, like everything in the NHS, it's a postcode lottery, and almost a class lottery :(

Louisa you've made offensive statements about people 'not trying hard enough' with their treatment, that women with mental illness will be hurting their children and that the mental health treatment available at least in so!e areas is perfect! You've made personal attacks and accused me of 'misinterpreting' what you've said.

As for 'get a life'

1 a phrase used by someone losing their argument

2 given I barely have a life and would love to have the life I was on course for before my breakdown which would also mean a massive improvement in my daughters life. This is also deeply offensive.

3 would be much easier to do if the mentally ill weren't among the people being targeted for cuts and discrimination by this government.