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Guest post: "How we learn to eat"

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MumsnetGuestPosts · 14/01/2016 12:12

Is any meal as hotly anticipated as a baby's first bite of solid food? As parents, we anxiously research our options. Baby rice versus sweet potato. Purée versus baby-led weaning. Offering the first morsel, we stare at the tiny face for signs of enjoyment. Will we get a smile or will it – the trauma! – be rejected?

So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours.

Newborns the world over beam at the taste of sweetness and treat bitter foods like poison. If you only give them the foods that automatically make them smile, you are setting them up for a sweet tooth.

I definitely made this mistake with my daughter, our middle child. I bought a weaning guide and spent hours whipping up batches of vegetable mixtures. Every time she tasted one, I drew an emoticon next to it in the book. Butternut squash: smile. Broccoli: frown. Spinach: double frown. Ah, I thought, so she's not a green vegetable person.

What I did not fully realise then was that we are not born with our preferences. They are something we each have to learn for ourselves. When my daughter grimaced at a bite of spinach, she was not telling me that greens sucked. It was just a natural physiological response. As adults, we still pucker our mouths on tasting a slice of bitter lime, but it doesn't necessarily mean we hate citrus fruit.

If we want our children to eat a varied diet, we need to persist with offering them a spectrum of flavours – preferably without grimacing ourselves. The main way anyone learns to like anything is simply to try it a lot of times, in a positive way.

According to a government survey from 2010, 57% of British parents offer baby rice – with its bland, sweet flavour - as the first food. But a fascinating study published last year, involving 139 families, showed that babies weaned straight onto a varied vegetable diet in those early months are more adventurous.

One group of parents gave their babies a smorgasbord of different vegetables for two weeks. 'Day 1: Carrot. Day 2: Spinach. Day 3: Peas. Day 4: Swede', and so on. A control group were weaned onto the usual baby rice. On Day 15, both groups of babies were offered a taste of unfamiliar artichoke purée. The babies weaned onto a rainbow of vegetables ate significantly more of the artichoke.

The science suggests that any baby is capable of learning wide enough tastes to eat a balanced and healthy diet. The good news is that no one is doomed by their genes to be a chocoholic.

I'm not saying every child will find it easy. When you are trapped in teatime battles, it's annoying to encounter smug parents whose children will 'try anything – celeriac's her favourite!' Some babies are born with conditions that make eating trickier, such as a delay to the oral-motor system. I had no idea how fraught the basic matter of getting food from plate to mouth could be until my third child was born with cleft palate and he and I both struggled at mealtimes. He is now six and new dishes occasionally still provoke tears (usually his).

But recent work by feeding psychologists has shown it is possible for even extremely selective eaters to slowly broaden horizons. The secret is what Dr Lucy Cooke – a psychologist who works at Great Ormond Street – calls 'Tiny Tastes'. If the piece of food being attempted is as small as a pea or even a grain of rice, it is much less traumatic for a child to taste it. At clinics in America, this method has been tailored to fussy eaters on the autistic spectrum. In one case, a toddler called Jim went from eating nothing but toasted cheese sandwiches and hotdogs to enjoying 65 different foods. This is life-changing.

'Tiny Tastes' can also work with less extreme fussy eaters. Dr Cooke – who has trialled the method in UK schools and homes – finds it works best if the tasting sessions are done outside mealtimes, to reduce the pressure. The child chooses the vegetable to work on, which makes them feel less trapped. And they get a sticker for every taste – even a lick. I used 'Tiny Tastes' on my own youngest when he was four and was startled by how quickly it turned him from someone who said 'yuck' when he heard the word cabbage to a happy nibbler of raw green leaves.

Ultimately, that first meal matters less than all the ones that come after. Given the chance, children are capable of learning new tastes at any age. Even as adults, we can change our palates, bit by bit.

Oh, and my daughter? She's now 13 - and it turns out she is a green vegetable person after all.

NOTE: Following discussion on the thread below, the title of this guest post has been updated to better reflect the author's intentions.

Bee Wilson is the author of First Bite: How we Learn to Eat.

OP posts:
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ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 14/01/2016 19:52

My DCs would eat anything as babies. I was that smug mother with a perfectly behaved baby nibbling on a lightly steamed broccoli floret and couscous.

Then toddlerhood hit and both became much more fussy. DC1 still is at 6. She prefers bland food like plain pasta, rice and chicken without sauce. Whereas DC2 is much more adventurous now. She likes spicy food and strong flavours and will try anything.

MN is a site for parents to support parents. Telling parents that it's their own fault their kids are fussy isn't very supportive is it? But fortunately, you propose a solution- buy your book! Lucky us Hmm

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OpheliasWeepingWillow · 14/01/2016 19:54

This OP is giving me the rage. DD eats so little she has to be tube fed and no amount of tiny tastes are going to help... Aaaaaargh

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louise987 · 14/01/2016 19:55

Controversial but I enjoyed this guest post - I think reading a mix of perspectives (which MN is sure to provide Hmm) is really helpful. Let's face it there's no book on 'how to raise the perfect child' and I think she had some good points.

Harsh judgement in either direction only adds to the pressure to be a certain type of parent

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TheGreatSnafu · 14/01/2016 19:57

Ah, yes, the vomiting. We became professional vomit catchers.

Just the smell of food provoked The Vom.

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merrymouse · 14/01/2016 19:58

What I did not fully realise then was that we are not born with our preferences. They are something we each have to learn for ourselves.

That doesn't really tie in with the generally established theory that we loose tastebuds as we age, meaning that our tastes change, that some people are 'super tasters' and that quite clearly some people love/hate bananas, marmite, Brussel sprouts etc. Etc.

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PenguinsAreAce · 14/01/2016 20:04

ODFOD indeed.

Bullshit.

Speaking as a mother of four, each and every child is different. Sometimes everything the parent does makes fuck all difference.

Biscuit

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tilder · 14/01/2016 20:05

Not sure what 'snark' means thegreatsnafu

Am hoping it's not bad Blush

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dodobookends · 14/01/2016 20:05

Bollocks. Have a Biscuit

'Tiny Tastes' eh? Yeah right. Have another Biscuit

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RichardHead · 14/01/2016 20:06

Yup I'm with Ouryve

DS weaned like a dream, would eat anything and everything, Then as a toddler started limiting what he would eat.

The only food he will reliably eat is fish, the fishier the better. Whilst I on the other hand can't stand the stuff and do visibly gag cooking/preparing it. It doesn't seem to put him off, in fact he keeps telling me I just have to keep trying it. Unfortunately he won't take his own advice..

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ewbank · 14/01/2016 20:15

"Oi mums! You're doing it wrong!"

Fuck off

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FaFoutis · 14/01/2016 20:16

Sometimes everything the parent does makes fuck all difference

Exactly. And if you don't realise this you have just been lucky.

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Stillwishihadabs · 14/01/2016 20:18

I heard this on the radio too. Although I agree some people (not just children because I had a bf like this) have sensory aversions and most children become more selective once mobile until around school age. Most people can expend their (or their dc's)range of foods if they really want to. But it takes work.

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TheGreatSnafu · 14/01/2016 20:23

Sorry, tilder your comment was absolutely hilarious. I've been there.

"Snarf" may not mean what I thought it meant. Very tired.

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AlmaMartyr · 14/01/2016 20:25

Agree totally with Ouvyre and quite sad to see this kind of judgemental twaddle up as a 'guest post' on Mumsnet.

This kind of attitude can do real damage tbh. I was my parents fussy eating child. They didn't believe in fussy eaters so I had years of horrible mealtimes as a child. Eventually the doctor pointed out that I had no sense of taste due to an ENT condition. I go by texture, and some textures are utterly repulsive. There are lots of fab foods that I love though so it doesn't cause me any problems or make me a lesser person that there are foods I don't want. My parents have apologised for handling it badly, but it has left me with a fair amount of issues around food.

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IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 14/01/2016 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tilder · 14/01/2016 20:33

I have no idea what it means tbo. Wasn't offended again all, just curious I guess!

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Jw35 · 14/01/2016 20:34

I agree with this.

Those that say they fed 2 or 3 kids the same diet but one is fussier than the other have you considered it might be personality? Some kids are more compliant than others!

Fussiness is a choice (except in the case of medical conditions) if parents don't offer a varied diet because precious wants chicken nuggets that's what a kid will eat!

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Anomaly · 14/01/2016 20:35

I remember being a fussy eater. No way would I have had a tiny taste I would genuinely have rather gone hungry.

I am much less fussy these days although would still vomit if expected to eat a brussel sprout.

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usual · 14/01/2016 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usual · 14/01/2016 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noblegiraffe · 14/01/2016 20:38

Fussiness is a choice

I'm a fussy eater. If I could choose not to be, it would make my life a hell of a lot easier.

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sugar21 · 14/01/2016 20:40

Tell you what Ms smug baby feeder, you have successfully upset me. Since I read your diatribe earlier today I have been in tears wondering has I fed and weaned my baby correctly or your way she may still be alive.
Medically I know that's not the case but I now have my doubts so thanks for that

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MrsCripps · 14/01/2016 20:41

I agree with the OP
I think its down to FF< awaits flaming>

It makes sense.
BF babies taste all different ,although sweet, flavours of BM.
FF babies its the same every time.

I will get slaughtered ,no doubt Grin but really its not the food they eat that determines fussiness ,its lack of different flavours as milk fed babies .

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FaFoutis · 14/01/2016 20:44

My DC are vegetarian, it ian't because of chicken nuggets.

I BF all of my babies, no FF at all.

I'm sure my DS doesn't vomit at the taste or smell of different foods because of his personality. Nor do I think he chooses to do this.

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noblegiraffe · 14/01/2016 20:45

My fussy eater was bfed till 17 months. So that theory is a crock too.

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