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Guest post: "How we learn to eat"

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MumsnetGuestPosts · 14/01/2016 12:12

Is any meal as hotly anticipated as a baby's first bite of solid food? As parents, we anxiously research our options. Baby rice versus sweet potato. Purée versus baby-led weaning. Offering the first morsel, we stare at the tiny face for signs of enjoyment. Will we get a smile or will it – the trauma! – be rejected?

So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours.

Newborns the world over beam at the taste of sweetness and treat bitter foods like poison. If you only give them the foods that automatically make them smile, you are setting them up for a sweet tooth.

I definitely made this mistake with my daughter, our middle child. I bought a weaning guide and spent hours whipping up batches of vegetable mixtures. Every time she tasted one, I drew an emoticon next to it in the book. Butternut squash: smile. Broccoli: frown. Spinach: double frown. Ah, I thought, so she's not a green vegetable person.

What I did not fully realise then was that we are not born with our preferences. They are something we each have to learn for ourselves. When my daughter grimaced at a bite of spinach, she was not telling me that greens sucked. It was just a natural physiological response. As adults, we still pucker our mouths on tasting a slice of bitter lime, but it doesn't necessarily mean we hate citrus fruit.

If we want our children to eat a varied diet, we need to persist with offering them a spectrum of flavours – preferably without grimacing ourselves. The main way anyone learns to like anything is simply to try it a lot of times, in a positive way.

According to a government survey from 2010, 57% of British parents offer baby rice – with its bland, sweet flavour - as the first food. But a fascinating study published last year, involving 139 families, showed that babies weaned straight onto a varied vegetable diet in those early months are more adventurous.

One group of parents gave their babies a smorgasbord of different vegetables for two weeks. 'Day 1: Carrot. Day 2: Spinach. Day 3: Peas. Day 4: Swede', and so on. A control group were weaned onto the usual baby rice. On Day 15, both groups of babies were offered a taste of unfamiliar artichoke purée. The babies weaned onto a rainbow of vegetables ate significantly more of the artichoke.

The science suggests that any baby is capable of learning wide enough tastes to eat a balanced and healthy diet. The good news is that no one is doomed by their genes to be a chocoholic.

I'm not saying every child will find it easy. When you are trapped in teatime battles, it's annoying to encounter smug parents whose children will 'try anything – celeriac's her favourite!' Some babies are born with conditions that make eating trickier, such as a delay to the oral-motor system. I had no idea how fraught the basic matter of getting food from plate to mouth could be until my third child was born with cleft palate and he and I both struggled at mealtimes. He is now six and new dishes occasionally still provoke tears (usually his).

But recent work by feeding psychologists has shown it is possible for even extremely selective eaters to slowly broaden horizons. The secret is what Dr Lucy Cooke – a psychologist who works at Great Ormond Street – calls 'Tiny Tastes'. If the piece of food being attempted is as small as a pea or even a grain of rice, it is much less traumatic for a child to taste it. At clinics in America, this method has been tailored to fussy eaters on the autistic spectrum. In one case, a toddler called Jim went from eating nothing but toasted cheese sandwiches and hotdogs to enjoying 65 different foods. This is life-changing.

'Tiny Tastes' can also work with less extreme fussy eaters. Dr Cooke – who has trialled the method in UK schools and homes – finds it works best if the tasting sessions are done outside mealtimes, to reduce the pressure. The child chooses the vegetable to work on, which makes them feel less trapped. And they get a sticker for every taste – even a lick. I used 'Tiny Tastes' on my own youngest when he was four and was startled by how quickly it turned him from someone who said 'yuck' when he heard the word cabbage to a happy nibbler of raw green leaves.

Ultimately, that first meal matters less than all the ones that come after. Given the chance, children are capable of learning new tastes at any age. Even as adults, we can change our palates, bit by bit.

Oh, and my daughter? She's now 13 - and it turns out she is a green vegetable person after all.

NOTE: Following discussion on the thread below, the title of this guest post has been updated to better reflect the author's intentions.

Bee Wilson is the author of First Bite: How we Learn to Eat.

OP posts:
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PolterGoose · 01/02/2016 16:54

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JosephineMumsnet · 01/02/2016 16:51

Hello all - just to let you know that the guest post from Gillian Harris is now live here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/2561821-Guest-post-Food-refusal-in-children-isnt-anyones-fault

Thanks for the suggestion PolterGoose

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TheGreatSnafu · 28/01/2016 13:18

Brilliant news re Gilian Harris.

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AlexTaylor17 · 20/01/2016 11:47

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PrimeDirective · 19/01/2016 17:16

Excellent news

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sugar21 · 19/01/2016 16:09

Brilliant. Also look forward to that Josephine

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PolterGoose · 19/01/2016 15:55

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JosephineMumsnet · 19/01/2016 15:45

Hi all,

Just to let you know that Gillian Harris from the Birmingham Food Refusal Service has agreed to write a guest post - we'll update with more details here soon.

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sugar21 · 16/01/2016 20:18

First of all Id like to thank you all for your sympathies and Mrs Cripps for upsetting me and others

Bee Ok so the the title was not your brainchild but I have to agree with Penguins on the rest of your piece.

My little blonde hurricane was bf up to 6 months and then blw. Fortunately she took to tasting and then eating most veg except for carrots, they were thrown overboard from the high chair.
As she progressed it was obvious that she was a hurricane and was using lots of energy so needed more fuel.
That is how I knew she was ill, sleeping and refusing food during the day was not on her agenda.

She became hot and floppy and I made a GP appt. While waiting for the appt I was wasting time consulting Dr Google and reading blogs. GP told me to get to hospital quickly as we'd have to wait for an ambulance.BUT it was 5ish so we got stuck in traffic. Eventually got there and my baby was diagnosed with meningitis. They did what they could but my hurricane died at 3.42am.

I know this story isn't strictly relevant to your article but I've typed it to show that I did things by the book but I lost my baby anyway. So it seems that fate plays a big hand in babies life as well as feeding

Also I do think that a response post by the Food Refusal Service would be more than welcome by other Mners.

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Flingingmelon · 16/01/2016 18:24

Oh do stop with all the bingo twattery!
It actually makes sense.


Charming!

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eatingworms · 16/01/2016 18:22

^ hangry children

Not sure if that was deliberate but I love it!

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PenguinsAreAce · 16/01/2016 00:36

I would just like to reiterate what was said unthread, that whilst you did not write the original headline, you did write this:

'So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours.'

This remains judgemental offensive bollocks.

I do not have a child with food phobia or clinical nutritional needs or autism or any other condition that affects eating (thankfully). I have 4 DCs who were all breastfed for 2+yrs and only one ever had any formula. All were weaned on finger foods, no purées or shop-bought baby foods. A wide variety of salt-free veg, meats, fish, carbs and fruit etc.

2 DCs are fussier than the others, one is annoyingly fussy. She would live on carbs and puddings given a choice, with occasional fruit/protein. I have a job and 4 DCs to care for. I do not have time for tiny tastes bollocks, or plate A plate B nonsense. Throwing away food repeatedly and dealing with a sobbing child who has not eaten and is hungry because they hate what you cooked is unsustainable, especially when you only got in from work 30 mins earlier, had to serve a balanced nutritious meal for 4 hangry children and turn it all around to get one to brownies 45 mins later before clearing everything away and the onslaught of bedtime/homework etc. We do not all have time to obsess about this!

None of this equates to resorting to nuggets or processed or beige food. What it does mean is serving the healthy invariably plain dull food/veg that the fussier children do like more frequently, whilst still trying to offer variety to the rest of the family, including me and DH, without breaking the bank! Some days we encourage the fussy ones to try something else on the table. Rarely they will. It is not a battle I am choosing right now. I do not wish to make a huge ISSUE of it. I doubt that will help.

As I am not a food writer, I do not have time to sit around obsessing about the issue.

I found Carlos Gonzalez' book a reassuring read.

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whatevva · 15/01/2016 20:27

I think the first half of the article read differently with the old title, so the new one is much better.

I do agree with Prime, though. I do not believe it was anything I did. I might have done things differently and better if I had been more experienced but I would not have experienced DS. The weaning advice to start at 4 months at that time (and the health visitor who told me he should be on 3 meals a day at 20 weeks when I had finally got him to try something Hmm) exacerbated the whole thing. However, in spite of that, I was doing quite nicely with things mashed into mashed potato at 10 months until we visited Granny for a week and he did not like her food and that was the end of that! After that it was bread sticks only.

We did a variation on the tiny tastes, only it was a very long-term thing and lasted all of his childhood. However, by his teens, he was eating a lot better than his contemporaries who just seemed to like pizza.

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Caprinihahahaha · 15/01/2016 20:14

Ooh, my iPad just reloaded end the thread and I have two more pages,
My comments are very out of date as even the thread title has changed.

Ignore me while I try and catch up....

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Caprinihahahaha · 15/01/2016 20:11

I'm sure a proportion of fussy eaters become so because parents try too hard to comply with their child's preferences.
There are however children who are immensely difficult to feed.
I fed all three ( exclusively breastfed) children very wide and varied diets.
Two still eat a wide range of foods. One is extremely self limiting.

I suspect the title of the piece is a bit more black and white than the author intended.

Like most things, it's really not that straightforward.

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PrimeDirective · 15/01/2016 17:44

I appreciate you coming back to explain your position in more detail Bee.

I think you really need to consider your language more carefully as there are some comments that really irritated me and point the finger of blame at the parents:
"So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours."
"If we want our children to eat a varied diet, we need to persist with offering them a spectrum of flavours".
I found this quite insulting. I tried SO hard to feed my children a range of good quality food. I DID persist, it didn't work, it often made matters worse.

We are without doubt born with preferences, and we develop more preferences - not just because of what our parents feed us (otherwise I would have the same preferences as my siblings). Texture was the massive issue for my youngest son, smell was what affected my eldest. They're both autistic. Those preferences weren't my fault for failing to provide a wide enough range of foods.

The Tiny Tastes idea does make sense, so I'm not dismissing it. I did something similar with my son as he got older and have increased his range of foods with his cooperation, but it's not a simple solution and it's nothing that I did wrong that made him have such a narrow range of foods in the first place.

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dodobookends · 15/01/2016 17:35

There is being 'fussy' and there is genuine food phobia. Some people have an incredibly strong gag reflex (and yes, a sensitive palate and strong gag reflex CAN be an inherited condition), and others are extremely sensitive to taste, texture and smells.

If you want to know what it feels like to be a fussy eater with a severe food issue, then imagine how you would feel if you were presented with a plate of raw sheep's eyes and some live wriggling maggots, all floating in a sea of pus, and being expected to eat it.

Yeah, go on - have a tiny taste...

No? Panicking and feeling sick are we? Want to get as far away as possible from that revolting mess? Rather go hungry? Thought so.

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IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 15/01/2016 17:14

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KateMumsnet · 15/01/2016 17:12

@IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster

I honestly don't think you should have changed the title, because that makes a mockery of half the comments. Maybe leave the original title but put amended?


We've put a note at the end of the post, IAm, so that new readers will be able to make sense of the thread.
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LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 15/01/2016 17:08

Thanks for coming back Bee - it's good to have an intelligent discussion around these issues.

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IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 15/01/2016 16:53

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KateMumsnet · 15/01/2016 16:50

Hello all - just to let you know that, after discussion with Bee, we've now changed the title of this guest post to 'How we learn to eat'. Thanks for the suggestions for another guest post - we'll follow up and update when we have news.

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rosebiggs · 15/01/2016 14:45

I like the idea of plate A and plate B. I can see now what the op wanted to get across. This has turned into a very interesting thread.

I agree with the point made above by a previous poster about the awful term 'fussy eaters.' I think it's on a par with 'school refuser' in that blame is created and allocated to the child/parent, rather than looking at the issues which may have caused the difficulty.

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ouryve · 15/01/2016 14:34

I'm not that scary, Bee ;)

I suppose the reaction to Plumpy Nut in Bangladesh is pretty much what ours would be if, even having not eaten for several days, were offered an insect burger. We've all seen the likes of HFW sample insect burgers or krill burgers and they are apparently nutritious but they are not most Bristish people's idea of food and wouldn't automatically be equated with the sort of comforting break from hunger pangs that people would be desperate for.

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MrsDeVere · 15/01/2016 14:29

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