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Guest post: "How we learn to eat"

237 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 14/01/2016 12:12

Is any meal as hotly anticipated as a baby's first bite of solid food? As parents, we anxiously research our options. Baby rice versus sweet potato. Purée versus baby-led weaning. Offering the first morsel, we stare at the tiny face for signs of enjoyment. Will we get a smile or will it – the trauma! – be rejected?

So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours.

Newborns the world over beam at the taste of sweetness and treat bitter foods like poison. If you only give them the foods that automatically make them smile, you are setting them up for a sweet tooth.

I definitely made this mistake with my daughter, our middle child. I bought a weaning guide and spent hours whipping up batches of vegetable mixtures. Every time she tasted one, I drew an emoticon next to it in the book. Butternut squash: smile. Broccoli: frown. Spinach: double frown. Ah, I thought, so she's not a green vegetable person.

What I did not fully realise then was that we are not born with our preferences. They are something we each have to learn for ourselves. When my daughter grimaced at a bite of spinach, she was not telling me that greens sucked. It was just a natural physiological response. As adults, we still pucker our mouths on tasting a slice of bitter lime, but it doesn't necessarily mean we hate citrus fruit.

If we want our children to eat a varied diet, we need to persist with offering them a spectrum of flavours – preferably without grimacing ourselves. The main way anyone learns to like anything is simply to try it a lot of times, in a positive way.

According to a government survey from 2010, 57% of British parents offer baby rice – with its bland, sweet flavour - as the first food. But a fascinating study published last year, involving 139 families, showed that babies weaned straight onto a varied vegetable diet in those early months are more adventurous.

One group of parents gave their babies a smorgasbord of different vegetables for two weeks. 'Day 1: Carrot. Day 2: Spinach. Day 3: Peas. Day 4: Swede', and so on. A control group were weaned onto the usual baby rice. On Day 15, both groups of babies were offered a taste of unfamiliar artichoke purée. The babies weaned onto a rainbow of vegetables ate significantly more of the artichoke.

The science suggests that any baby is capable of learning wide enough tastes to eat a balanced and healthy diet. The good news is that no one is doomed by their genes to be a chocoholic.

I'm not saying every child will find it easy. When you are trapped in teatime battles, it's annoying to encounter smug parents whose children will 'try anything – celeriac's her favourite!' Some babies are born with conditions that make eating trickier, such as a delay to the oral-motor system. I had no idea how fraught the basic matter of getting food from plate to mouth could be until my third child was born with cleft palate and he and I both struggled at mealtimes. He is now six and new dishes occasionally still provoke tears (usually his).

But recent work by feeding psychologists has shown it is possible for even extremely selective eaters to slowly broaden horizons. The secret is what Dr Lucy Cooke – a psychologist who works at Great Ormond Street – calls 'Tiny Tastes'. If the piece of food being attempted is as small as a pea or even a grain of rice, it is much less traumatic for a child to taste it. At clinics in America, this method has been tailored to fussy eaters on the autistic spectrum. In one case, a toddler called Jim went from eating nothing but toasted cheese sandwiches and hotdogs to enjoying 65 different foods. This is life-changing.

'Tiny Tastes' can also work with less extreme fussy eaters. Dr Cooke – who has trialled the method in UK schools and homes – finds it works best if the tasting sessions are done outside mealtimes, to reduce the pressure. The child chooses the vegetable to work on, which makes them feel less trapped. And they get a sticker for every taste – even a lick. I used 'Tiny Tastes' on my own youngest when he was four and was startled by how quickly it turned him from someone who said 'yuck' when he heard the word cabbage to a happy nibbler of raw green leaves.

Ultimately, that first meal matters less than all the ones that come after. Given the chance, children are capable of learning new tastes at any age. Even as adults, we can change our palates, bit by bit.

Oh, and my daughter? She's now 13 - and it turns out she is a green vegetable person after all.

NOTE: Following discussion on the thread below, the title of this guest post has been updated to better reflect the author's intentions.

Bee Wilson is the author of First Bite: How we Learn to Eat.

OP posts:
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FaFoutis · 14/01/2016 21:08

I have photos of my little son starving himself, he was skeletal, I did not create that problem.

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JassyRadlett · 14/01/2016 21:08

MNHQ, are you serious about giving guest post space to such arrant nonsense that seems designed to make parents feel inferior and failures?

I weaned my child on the rainbow. It was brilliant until he had severe croup at 10 months and stopped eating everything and developed what was basically a food phobia. It's taken us more than three years of incredibly hard work to build him up to a diet that isn't embarrassing. He's still fussy. The OP should be ashamed of writing such drivel.

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ouryve · 14/01/2016 21:09

I grew up in the 70s, MrsCripps. I and both of my FF siblings were extremely fussy. I'm the only one of the 3 of us who has outgrown that.

And my restricted eaters were both BF - one for 18 months and one for almost 2.5 years. The second one has never drunk a drop of anything other than water in the 7 years since he weaned. That's just the start of it.

And the older one ate loads of different foods as a toddler but never liked potatoes. He's 12 now and a real PITA to feed.

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Hamsolo · 14/01/2016 21:10

Ha. I'm enjoying the idea that ebf is the answer. I breastfed my toddler til she was 2.5 and she is suspicious of anything more exotic than toast.

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Purplecan4 · 14/01/2016 21:11

sorry OP, your post is ignorant.

I have 2 dc. Born at the same weight. Breastfed for the same amount of time. Weaned on the same variety of veg from the same book. Identical parenting. Several years on...

One dc - will eat anything, people marvel at what a wonderful eater. Loved by mothers doing play dates. Can feed this one anything, will receive gratitude.

Other dc - extremely fussy, to the point of preferring to starve.

It makes me angry to read the OP.

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Penfold007 · 14/01/2016 21:11

Is this MNHQ's position on 'fussy feeders'? We deserve an answer.

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PhilPhilConnors · 14/01/2016 21:13

MrsCripps - my fussiest was breastfed, as were all my other DC.
I ate loads of cake - he hates cake.
I never eat fish fingers, ever - he would live on them.

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sugar21 · 14/01/2016 21:13

Yes penfold we would like an answer. I find this guest post upsetting and triggering

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PhilPhilConnors · 14/01/2016 21:16

I've read further. MrsCripps, I also grew up in the 70's. I can clearly remember several fussy children.
One of my peers ate tomato sauce sandwiches and very little else for years.

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MrsCripps · 14/01/2016 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HetHet · 14/01/2016 21:18

Cracking Guest post, MN Hmm

I thought MN was here to support parents? Or is it to make a quick buck from advertising a book? Poor judgement methinks.

Surely enough people here are roundly demonstrating that the OP's post and the lone MrsCripps are talking absolute tripe (d'ya see what I did there?!)

I'm with ouryve. ODFOD.

Oh, and do you realise how the OP sounds just like Cameron, Osbourne, Gove and Hunt. Patronising and blaming people who know more about real life than they ever could.

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hmcReborn · 14/01/2016 21:19

I'm also with ouryve. Could this be the most unpopular guest post ever?

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PhilPhilConnors · 14/01/2016 21:19

Could you perhaps use your wisdom to explain my child then?
Breastfed, no formula ever, weaned at 6 months but refused pretty much everything.
Now 4 and still refuses pretty much everything.
Oh, he also hates itchy clothes, loud noises and change - is that down to FF too? Oh wait......

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JellyBabiesSaveLives · 14/01/2016 21:20

Dh was a fussy-eating 70s child. MIL bf'd, and I know he was weaned on a wide variety of vegetables cos she was a vegetarian who thought sugar was rhe Devil's Work. When he was 3 she took him to the doctor to say he'd only eat peanut butter sandwiches, apples and milk, and the doctor said that was a lovely balanced diet Smile. He's still bloody fussy and so are 2/3 of our children (it's all his fault).
And ds2 eats every vegetable known to man but refuses meat, sauces and sweets. Yep, he won't eat sweets They are disgusting. Which is irritating because he has type 1 diabetes and eating sweets would be very handy when he's low (and eating protein equally useful when he's high).

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MrsCripps · 14/01/2016 21:20

No doubt that is going to cause a shitstorm Grin

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merrymouse · 14/01/2016 21:20

You know nothing about general eating or feeding habits in the seventies and you clearly can't comprehend that a bf child could be a fussy eater mrs cripps. You get over it.

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JellyBabiesSaveLives · 14/01/2016 21:21

Mumsnet you did this on purpose didn't you? You knew exactly what response this guestpost would get and you set the silly woman up, come on, admit it...

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TheGreatSnafu · 14/01/2016 21:22

Yeah. Let's get over it by letting our children starve to death.

So glad the experts at Great Ormond Street who oversaw my sons years of feeding therapy didn't blame me.

severely restricted eaters didn't exist in the past because they died.

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PhilPhilConnors · 14/01/2016 21:25

IIRC breastfeeding rates in the 60s and 70s were the lowest on record, so slightly shits on the FF creates fussy children + children in the 70s weren't fussy.

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hazeyjane · 14/01/2016 21:28

get over it

blimey you are posting on a thread where people have children with extreme food issues, a poster whose child has died, another whose child is tube fed. Ds is under a specialist dietician, and an OT for his food issues. His dietician thinks that part of the reason for his restricted diet is because of an association of food with pain (he has severe reflux) - but hell, I have seen the light.....he just needs to 'get over it'

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MrsCripps · 14/01/2016 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PolterGoose · 14/01/2016 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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hazeyjane · 14/01/2016 21:33

are you enjoying yourself mrscripps?

is it fun to have a kick at posters who are genuinely worried about their children?

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ouryve · 14/01/2016 21:36

Do you really believe this shit, MrsCripps? Are you having fun here?

What do you stand to gain by ignorantly blaming parents for their children's food issues? Did DS2 refuse all solid food until almost 9 months old because he had too much choice and my expectations were too poor and I'd failed to read him enough newspaper articles about starving orphans? (Not funny in the least, by the way, but you keep on enjoying yourself)

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sugar21 · 14/01/2016 21:37

Oh so my baby dying fron bacterial meningitis is poor parenting. Well thank you very much for that little gem
I sincerely hope you never have to see your child in their little pink casket being carried into church.by your dh/ dp
I hope you'll sleep tonight because I haven't slept properly in four years.
Do you know what it is like to cuddle a dead baby?
Kindly Fuck Off

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