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Guest post: "How we learn to eat"

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MumsnetGuestPosts · 14/01/2016 12:12

Is any meal as hotly anticipated as a baby's first bite of solid food? As parents, we anxiously research our options. Baby rice versus sweet potato. Purée versus baby-led weaning. Offering the first morsel, we stare at the tiny face for signs of enjoyment. Will we get a smile or will it – the trauma! – be rejected?

So desperate are we to make our babies happy, we haven't noticed that we have got feeding the wrong way round. We try to give our children what they like, when really we should be trying to help them develop their palates so they relish a wider range of flavours.

Newborns the world over beam at the taste of sweetness and treat bitter foods like poison. If you only give them the foods that automatically make them smile, you are setting them up for a sweet tooth.

I definitely made this mistake with my daughter, our middle child. I bought a weaning guide and spent hours whipping up batches of vegetable mixtures. Every time she tasted one, I drew an emoticon next to it in the book. Butternut squash: smile. Broccoli: frown. Spinach: double frown. Ah, I thought, so she's not a green vegetable person.

What I did not fully realise then was that we are not born with our preferences. They are something we each have to learn for ourselves. When my daughter grimaced at a bite of spinach, she was not telling me that greens sucked. It was just a natural physiological response. As adults, we still pucker our mouths on tasting a slice of bitter lime, but it doesn't necessarily mean we hate citrus fruit.

If we want our children to eat a varied diet, we need to persist with offering them a spectrum of flavours – preferably without grimacing ourselves. The main way anyone learns to like anything is simply to try it a lot of times, in a positive way.

According to a government survey from 2010, 57% of British parents offer baby rice – with its bland, sweet flavour - as the first food. But a fascinating study published last year, involving 139 families, showed that babies weaned straight onto a varied vegetable diet in those early months are more adventurous.

One group of parents gave their babies a smorgasbord of different vegetables for two weeks. 'Day 1: Carrot. Day 2: Spinach. Day 3: Peas. Day 4: Swede', and so on. A control group were weaned onto the usual baby rice. On Day 15, both groups of babies were offered a taste of unfamiliar artichoke purée. The babies weaned onto a rainbow of vegetables ate significantly more of the artichoke.

The science suggests that any baby is capable of learning wide enough tastes to eat a balanced and healthy diet. The good news is that no one is doomed by their genes to be a chocoholic.

I'm not saying every child will find it easy. When you are trapped in teatime battles, it's annoying to encounter smug parents whose children will 'try anything – celeriac's her favourite!' Some babies are born with conditions that make eating trickier, such as a delay to the oral-motor system. I had no idea how fraught the basic matter of getting food from plate to mouth could be until my third child was born with cleft palate and he and I both struggled at mealtimes. He is now six and new dishes occasionally still provoke tears (usually his).

But recent work by feeding psychologists has shown it is possible for even extremely selective eaters to slowly broaden horizons. The secret is what Dr Lucy Cooke – a psychologist who works at Great Ormond Street – calls 'Tiny Tastes'. If the piece of food being attempted is as small as a pea or even a grain of rice, it is much less traumatic for a child to taste it. At clinics in America, this method has been tailored to fussy eaters on the autistic spectrum. In one case, a toddler called Jim went from eating nothing but toasted cheese sandwiches and hotdogs to enjoying 65 different foods. This is life-changing.

'Tiny Tastes' can also work with less extreme fussy eaters. Dr Cooke – who has trialled the method in UK schools and homes – finds it works best if the tasting sessions are done outside mealtimes, to reduce the pressure. The child chooses the vegetable to work on, which makes them feel less trapped. And they get a sticker for every taste – even a lick. I used 'Tiny Tastes' on my own youngest when he was four and was startled by how quickly it turned him from someone who said 'yuck' when he heard the word cabbage to a happy nibbler of raw green leaves.

Ultimately, that first meal matters less than all the ones that come after. Given the chance, children are capable of learning new tastes at any age. Even as adults, we can change our palates, bit by bit.

Oh, and my daughter? She's now 13 - and it turns out she is a green vegetable person after all.

NOTE: Following discussion on the thread below, the title of this guest post has been updated to better reflect the author's intentions.

Bee Wilson is the author of First Bite: How we Learn to Eat.

OP posts:
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omri · 14/01/2016 17:30

What ouryve said! Grin

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Jojay · 14/01/2016 17:35

Another one here who's twins were weaned on identical meals.

Now at 4 1\2 one is a fussy madam while the other is pretty open minded about trying new food.

While you can undoubtedly make a bad eater even fussier by limiting what's on offer to bland or sweet food, there's a bit more to it than that, IMHO.

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midnightlurker · 14/01/2016 17:41

Well... I have one child with sensory problems who ate absolutely everything as a baby and now eats a narrow range of non-slimy/slippery foods. And another who is allergic to most foods but will eat anything she can get her hands on. The total opposite of the theory in the op!

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Flingingmelon · 14/01/2016 17:43

This is just bollocks. I did BLW; I went mad offering all sorts of things. The minute he hit two he'd only eat about eight beige things. I repeatedly offer a wide range of alternatives, he gets to watch me cook every day, we go shopping together and all the things they tell you to do. I'm chill if he refuses things, I make sure we don't turn it into a battle.

He still only eats eight beige things.

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Rumplebelle · 14/01/2016 17:45

What a load of crap Angry


Thanks So sorry sugar.

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PirateSmile · 14/01/2016 17:46

I think I am quite lucky because I don't have fussy eaters but as I said, I think it's luck. One DS hates bananas and tomatoes. The other DS loves them. They've both had the same diet. I don't think there's been any book written which could induce the banana/tomato hating DS to ever start eating them.

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FeatheredBumpkin · 14/01/2016 17:51

If you get to eat just the size of a pea...

if dd1 was tricked into eating a pea (because that is the only way even a singlepea will make its way in) she would vomit it all over table.

Dd1 has gotten better - a lot of it because we have backed off and not done what a lot of these 'no child of mine will be a fussy eater, they WILL be eating it' types recommend. I refuse to make meals a battleground and try very hard to make sure over the course of the day, rather than the meal, that she a) eats and b) has some variety and fresh fruit/veg.

why does OP not talk about issues with textures and food touching and sauces? This is a big problem for us and has feck all to do with whether things are 'sweet'. Dd1 would live off dry cream crackers anyway...

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 14/01/2016 17:53

Ahahahahahahahahaha.

Dd ate all sorts until she was 2. Then stopped when her ASD got going. She still has a restricted diet that includes broccoli, olives and lemons but not carrots, chicken or rice.

Joins the odfod queue...

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firesidechat · 14/01/2016 17:56

Ah yes the vomiting. Remember it well.

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firesidechat · 14/01/2016 18:00

A small word of encouragement to all those with small children who are fussy eaters. After much agonising we left our fussy eater to her own devices and she is now an adult who will eat almost anything. Maturity and socialising seems to have done the trick.

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GreenTomatoJam · 14/01/2016 18:02

Ha. I have two kids who are both good eaters, but both eat the total opposite of each other.

eg. spaghetti and meatballs - one will nom the meatballs, the other one all over the pasta. Pick any meal and somehow they will telepathically decide which one is going to eat each bit, and leave the exact opposite to the other on their plate.

I don't like sprouts but love broccoli, DS1 doesn't like mushrooms, but can't get enough of salmon, DS2 doesn't like meat in meat form (eg chops or chicken legs), but stuffs in baby corn like a machine. They're people after all, they are allowed to not like some things (as long as they've tried it is my rule)

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allegretto · 14/01/2016 18:12

I heard this book being discussed on the radio and, whilst there were some valid points, I feel that the author was coming from a position of saying that everyone has (or has had) hang ups regarding food. I don't think I ever have. I eat just about anything (although obviously I have preferences) and I have never dieted. I also have twins who are treated in exactly the same way and are always given (albeit sometimes in a small portion) everything we are all eating (and yes, we always eat dinner together as a family). One eats most things, the other is extremely fussy and hasn't eaten any vegetables for about two years.

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TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/01/2016 18:13

I don't think I have either, Allegretto.

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QueenLaBeefah · 14/01/2016 18:14

Yet another self appointed expert.
I will join the chorus of ODFOD.

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Ragwort · 14/01/2016 18:19

Agree with everyone else Grin - my DS never touched baby rice in his life, ate a huge range of food when he was weaned and as a toddler - now as a teenager he is getting fussier by the day!

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InTheTeapot · 14/01/2016 19:20

I'm with Ourvye

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tilder · 14/01/2016 19:32

Mil, is that you?

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Buttwing · 14/01/2016 19:36

Pile of shite. That is all.

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TheGreatSnafu · 14/01/2016 19:38

What Ourvye said.

snark, tilder

Good god, MNHQ, this is not cool AT ALL.

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SitsOnFence · 14/01/2016 19:41

I'm afraid I only made it halfway through the OP, but just wanted to say ha ha ha ha ha ha

(2 children, blweaned with whatever we were eating; one eats anything, one is fussy)

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DrewsWife · 14/01/2016 19:43

Thank you poster for making mothers feel bad. Instead of supporting mothers to do their best you have unceremoniously hoiked up your judgy pants.

I have two kids. How I choose to feed them should not be scorned. Go grab yourself a book and a cuppa and enjoy this biscuit Biscuit

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FaFoutis · 14/01/2016 19:45

What shit.

Good luck trying your 'tiny tastes' with my 10 year old. He would actually vomit. I suppose that is my fault though.

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BertieBotts · 14/01/2016 19:45

What is it with smug "If you do weaning right your baby will never be fussy" articles at the moment?

This approach sounds bonkers outside of children with extreme restricted diets, where I can see it makes sense. Trying a single pea or grain of rice and bribing with stickers in normal circumstances? Nutso. And likely to make food into an issue.

I did everything "right" as most of the articles suggest and still had a fussy child. Luckily, he grew out of it, as most children do. I really don't think anything I did would have lessened the phase or prevented him outgrowing it.

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merrymouse · 14/01/2016 19:48

Agree with other posters. Some children are more fussy about food just as some children are less tolerant of wearing different textures or noise.

We don't all have the same tastebuds and siblings often have very different likes and dislikes.

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VagueIdeas · 14/01/2016 19:51

That's not so comforting firesidechat. This shit won't improve until adulthood? So we have another 15 years or so of never being able to do to a restaurant or cafe because she won't eat a singe thing on the menu?

This is a kid who has to be forced to eat more than one Chicken Fucking McNugget. And no, none of the other Happy Meals options are acceptable. Nor is any other child meal from any other establishment. Just McDonalds fries, basically.

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