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Am I being too sensitive

1 reply

Carleajam · 13/09/2026 22:10

As a paternal grand parent I have been feeling hurt by certain actions of my son and his wife.

I look after my grand daughter once a week and so does the other grandma.

The thing is whenever my son and his wife have an evening out the other grandma always gets to baby sit and has her overnight. I have offered my help but they never take it. My grand daughter has recently turned 4 and every one of her birthdays so far have been spent with DILs family.

They have gone on holiday with DILs family but never us despite us inviting them a couple of times.

The most upsetting thing they did was when they bought us out. It was a mutual agreement but we worked very hard to make it happen and when we had moved out of the house just before Christmas they never even invited us round for Christmas but DIL had her family round instead.

Son and DIL are moving again in a few weeks time. I was asked if I could look after grand daughter on the day of the move which I was very happy to do. The next day I get a call from son saying I wasn't needed now as other grandma has offered.

As the paternal grandparent I just feel pushed out. I don't want to fall out with them and tend to keep my mouth shut. I don't think they realise how much it hurts me though

OP posts:
Releasemeplease · Yesterday 10:31

I don't think you are being sensitive OP but I do think the mother's parents being granted a closer relationship with grand children is actually quite common. That doesn't make it any less hurtful to you.

If your grand daughter is now 4 it sounds as though this situation has gone on for a long time and is just regarded as normal by the other members of the family. I think I'm a bit surprised you haven't mentioned how you feel to your son before now. I do think you should have a conversation with him because it is very unfair that they use you when it's convenientfor them without any consideration of your feelings the rest of the time

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