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Am I wrong to be upset MIL missed both sons' first birthdays?

3 replies

Mkxxx · 22/06/2026 14:48

Please tell me if I’m wrong for being annoyed. Right. For context my MIL missed my son’s 1st birthday in the UK to travel to the USA to spend time with her other grandchild for her 2nd birthday. I was so annoyed at the time because I find a first birthday super special and she had celebrated my niece’s 1st birthday the year before. Anyway, I bite my tongue like a good daughter in law and put it in the past. This was in 2024.

Now, 2026, it’s my second son’s 1st birthday and she’s booked a trip to LA again!!!! Now I’m fuming!!!! Honestly the lack of awareness, respect or anything is shocking! This time I’ve stood my ground and spoke up, but I know she’s not happy I have. She’s a proud woman and hates being told. My husband doesn’t even seem as bothered as me, mainly because he’s used to her lack of effort behaviour. Honestly I don’t even wanna bother with her anymore. She makes hardly no effort as it is. She sees her other son in LA more times a year than she comes to see us (we live 45 mins away!)

Then on top she sits at home complaining she never sees her son’s. She has 3. I’ve always said she’s welcome at our house and wanted her help post partum twice but never got it. Then sits like a victim at home saying she’s all alone.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 24/07/2026 16:46

YABU. From your other threads you sound quite entitled. Maybe she prefers being around other family members.

Chickadee26 · 27/07/2026 01:47

That's too bad but just carry on with the plans without her there.
Is it going to be just family members attending?
You could offer to live stream part of the party to her?

Nofeckingway · 27/07/2026 13:05

Her trips to US probably have to coincide with her son's annual leave . You do realise that a baby's 1 st birthday party is not a big deal to the majority of people ? Don't be angry because you can't make people feel as invested as yourself. Your DH doesn't mind so you shouldn't. Enjoy the day with your other guests and don't fret .

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