Instead of starting threads taking the piss out of G&T children why don't you all just...

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

stop it. It's pathetic.

Thanks.

My DS's father was an experienced rock climber. I went once and was almost hysterical by the time I got to the top! I couldn't possibly introduce DS to it myself. However, when he expressed an interest I gave him the opportunity. He is now a talented rock climber. If it is a real interest they find a way-they do not need a pushy, hothousing parent, just one who puts opportunities their way and leaves it to them.

KMum, I don't think Abbey or anyone else was saying that at all. You sound like you are having a tough and isolated time with your children and I am not surprised you feel angry about not being understood, but isn't it the case that while of course there are some very bright (avoiding G&T as seems so infammatory) kids, some who suffer socially and some who don't, and I agree the majority find it difficult to fit in in the way that all children with "differences" do, eg non-sporty boys, it is also the case that there are a lot of parents out there who push their kids for their own reasons and therefore get the piss taken out of them?

Lots of parents of G&T are like you Kerrymum.
However it covers the whole range and at the other end some are distincly odd or pushy, or both!

Actually Phantom did say it was unusual for a gifted child not to be socially inept and that being socially able and gifted was unusual. i think that's utter bollocks personally.

There shouldn't be any impediment to fitting in just from being gifted.

I don't have issues with G&T, although am sceptical at some of the young ages as I remember when ds1- severely struggling, dx sn- was considered G&T when it was just a manifestation of an aspect of his sn (extreme verbal ability- 10 years ahead of age at 6- behind now at almost 9)

However I found the wouldn't choose comment odd. Really? if I couod choose the atributes a child of mine would have, G&T would be up there yes, G&T opens doors, in a postive. Wouldn't choose thngs are much more severe, life altering in a negative way- no independence that sort of thing.

I think NAGTY is a great idea and it is good to get together. Outside of that it is good to learn to mix with anyone.
I just happen to think that there are more parents who think their DC is G&T than DCs who are G&T. It puts a lot of pressure on the DC, in some cases.

Goodness me, we all try to fit in. It's what being human is about. So we would love to yak about Strictly all day, perhaps, but if the group of people we are with never watch it, we talk about something else.
I would say that children who are dragged along to weirdo associations like the Gifted Children one, will be rather odd, as they have had a great big label slapped on them by their parents. No matter how super-genius my children were, I'd never join anything like that. It's like MENSA - everyone I've ever seen from Mensa was a complete fruit loop, because all normal people with brains would laugh at the thought of joining.

Well that can be for anything KM. Some boys who do ballet don't get teased, some do. DS2 has recently taken up Speech as an activity. He lied to me and told me all the boys were doing it. They weren't - he's the only one in his class. So I had a (very idealistic) talk to him about how if you want to be happy in life you have to do what you want, and not what your friend's want and how Daddy plays chess which isn't very cool but he's happy doing it etc etc.

Having interests that aren't accepted is nothing to do with giftedness per se. DS2 enjoys Speech, but I have no idea whether he'll carry it through or decide at some stage that it's too much of a social burden. I hope he'll make his own way and do what he wants, but that's up to him.

I completely agree with Jimjams. If your child is clever, that's absolutely fantastic. If they seem to have social difficulties, that's hard, BUT it's not IMO because they are clever. Dim kids have social difficulties too! And to me, labelling kids, being anxious about their potential for genius and marking them out as different by joining clubs for clever kids, can only ever make things worse for them. Deal with the social difficulties by giving the child strategies to help, not by assuming that it is just part of being bright.

Abbey- it puts a lot of pressure on the kids who are truly G&T as well. Research has shown that slapping the label on any child- even the truly G&T ones- is more than likely going to be counter-productive. Growing up thinking you're nothing special (outside your family - where you feel really special) is likely to produce the best results.

Sorry I have only got to page 6 on this thread as I need something clarifying before continuing - is the definition of being G&T being in the top 10% at your school? Because if so that is ridiculous. Also don't they do streams anymore?

I'd never heard of the G and T register until I came on MN. And dh is a teacher...

Of course someone taught him to rock climb! He wanted to do it-I gave him the opportunity. I didn't say he had to do it because his father would have wanted him to, or he ought to follow his father, I didn't even suggest it. It came up naturally and he had a go.
G & T doesn't always open doors. There are lots of people at near genius level who can't hold down a job.My friend's DS is undoubtedly gifted but it got him asked to leave university! He doesn't suffer fools gladly, is very blunt and won't accept anyone else's opinion if he believes he is in the right.
I would like clever DCs but I am not sure that I would want G & T,it can be very difficult to live with and a bit of a poisoned chalice IMO. (Maybe I have a different definition-I am talking about a very small percentage-certainly not 10%)

My older daughter does tell me about kids who don't fit in, but because of her younger brother and a cousin with Aspergers, she can often tell they are on the spectrum. Recently a new girl started in her class. This girl is very academically minded, but really odd. At the start of term, they were all asked to introduce themselves to each other, giving a little snippet of information about their interests. This girl told them all how clever she was, then as joke, waggled her finger at them all in turn and said, 'so you all better watch out!'. Now this is horribly misjudged social behaviour, and dd and I agreed she was probably on the spectrum, and that dd would make allowances for her behaviour and try to prevent her being bullied. But she would not have been bullied for being clever. DD's school is selective - there are a lot of bright kids. It was her social skills that were impaired and made her seem clumsy at best, aggressive at worst.

I can't see the point of Mensa. I did the intial test and was invited to a centre to do a further one. It all costs; if you pass to join you have to pay each year-as far as I could see all you got out of it was the fact that you could say 'I belong to Mensa'-to which the obvious answer is 'so what'!

I had already got you down a sensible mum, KerryMum-all I am saying is that many are distinctly odd!

The point of Mensa is so you can prove to everyone how clever you are, then sit and sneer at the stupid people who aren't clever like you. Then you can moan that you're too clever to have friends, when in fact you're actually just unbearable to be around and you're totally lacking in EQ.. But it's OK because you now belong to a club full of equally self important people.

I don't understand, surely if you take as a starting point a child of average intelligence, some children are a little more intelligent than the average some are a little less. Some children have personalities that make them work a little harder than the next child, some children just hate learning. Yes some children maybe talented at such things such as playing a musical instrument or finding complex maths easy however to be truly gifted in a field is very rare.

Also I am probably missing the point but I don't see what the big deal is about playing chess is unless you are a grandmaster.

I think if you are playing chess for the county at the age of 9, and winning you fairly talented-speaking as someone who gets in a defensive position from the first move!

The G&T register is fairly new nickytwotimes-every school has to have one.