Is my 2yo gifted?

[MumofToddle]

I’ll be upfront, I‘ve only created this thread because I suspect I’m right and I’m looking for validation 😂I also know how insufferable that is and that I deserve to be taken down a peg, so please do feel free to disabuse me of my notions if I deserve it.

I think my 2.5yo son might be verging on ‘gifted’ (as opposed to merely clever, which I know he is without needed confirmation from anyone else). Here are some of the things he can do:

• complete verbal fluency - speaks in lengthy, complex sentences, for example ‘mummy, daddy said after we go swimming we are going to granny’s house because we need to borrow her car so you can go to London’. Has a good vocabulary - regularly and correctly uses words like ‘marvellous’, ‘surprising’, ‘mischievous’, ‘famished’.
• very good recall - for example he has a reference book of animals and can tell you the scientific names for about 60 animals, having been told them once or twice on previous readings
• can read simple words and some sentences. We didn’t teach him this so don’t know where it came from. For example today we drove past next and he said ‘N E X T, that says next’. He can read simple sentences in books he hasn’t seen before, such as ‘where is spot?’ (By sounding out the letters to work out the word)
• Can write his own name unassisted and copy letters if I write them first (imperfectly but recognisably)
• can name / discuss his feelings. Has basically never had a tantrum but will say ‘I’m disappointed because I don’t want to leave the park’.

What do you think - gifted, or just bright? It wouldn’t change anything either way as we don’t have any desire or intention to try and hot house him or interfere at all in his very relaxed, low pressure childhood, but I’m curious!

Low as in below average. One third with LD. There are IQs that are below average but not LD. Why is this a problem?

I don’t think I said 1/3 of the autistic population also having a LD was a problem, did I?

Typically when low IQ is discussed it is meant an IQ that would fall under the LD criteria (should the person meet the other requirements). If you meant something else by low IQ then others are going to misunderstand what you mean.

Ok @LovelyLilies I meant below average, I’m sorry I should have been clearer. About a quarter of autistic children have less than thirty words. I think people forget the large numbers of autistics who aren’t highly verbal geniuses and throw around the diagnosis as though it’s commonplace.

Agree with this 😊^

I haven't read all the comments here but interesting that a toddler who is advanced as Op's child are more likely to have asd.

So my DS was very similar to OP's little one and is still exceptional. He may be neurodivergent because of his learning style (he doesn't need much explanation but is able to put the dots together and understand new concepts with ease) but we haven't needed a diagnosis as he is doing well socially. He may have adhd like his father but again not to the extent that he needs any help with.

To be honest, gifted or not it really doesn't matter. It's what your child does with his gifts, not the gift itself. We've encouraged going out of comfort zone and learning to make mistakes and carry on. Being empathetic. Praising efforts more than their achievements. Recognising their fear and show support, that kind of thing have been important for us.

There are countless gifted people on this planet. There will always be someone who is better than you, but that's ok. Enjoy being you.

I haven't read all the comments here but interesting that a toddler who is advanced as Op's child are more likely to have asd.

Yes, ASD often (not always!) have 'spiky' profiles. Beyond the 'norm' in some areas (like my 4 year old son with his maths), and very behind in others (like my son's emotional development!). This isn't always the case though, but is quite common. I'm a teacher in a selective school and we have lots of neurodiverse pupils - some of them are utterly outstanding. The majority of our 'highest' fliers (especially in maths, physics and computing) are neurodiverse actually (again, not all).

My dd was pretty much like this. She's 10 now and smart but not exceptionally so

Sounds like my son at same age, I had other children and am a teacher so could tell the difference. He's an adult now and secondary HT has said in past he's extremely bright. He also has ADD. What I noticed was his grammar, sentence structure, being able to explain things in great detail and generally at 2.5 yrs speak in ways most 10 year olds wouldn't. He's good at maths, science but outstanding at English and humanities. Provide your son with a range of non fiction books, games and types of play experiences. Chess, card games and classic geek things are a good idea. My son is definitely not the stereotype geek at all but has been honing his skills with card games, chess etc etc for years and is exceptionally good. Have fun but sounds like a bright kid.

OP you should be aware that when someone asks on the G&T board if their child is gifted, invariably half a dozen people jump in and say either "just bright" or ASD.
My take: complex sentences, huge vocabulary and reading all by 2.5 do strongly point towards giftedness. I suggest you read https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/small-poppies-highly-gifted-children-in-the-early-years/

As far as ASD / hyperlexia go, I don't see much sign of it in what OP has written. Some (gifted) children just read very early. Mine did. But that is not hyperlexia. Hyperlexia, taken to mean a splinter skill associated with ASD, is something much more specific.

As for whether it matters, the truth is: not really at 2, or until they get to school. While they're out of school, they can do what they want and parents/carers meet them where they are. Once they're in school, if there's a large mismatch between where they are and where the school wants them to be, then chronic boredom and frustration can set in. EYFS/reception can be OK because there's a lot of free play and self-directed learning. Often the shit hits the fan in year 1, which is when things become a lot more rigid.
FWIW ADHD (inattentive/combined) can be "hidden" before school or even in EYFS because they're not bored, but then suddenly becomes a big issue as they get bored rigid by school.

I read at the age of 2, was moved up a year in school so went to reception at 3, comp at 10 etc.

I was always top/near top of the class. I was on the gifted and talented register in school. Was never as good at practical things like DT, PE etc.

I'm fairly certain I may have hyperlexia - I look at a page and know what it says immediately. I wouldn't say I am a gifted adult though, just intelligent, no more so than many others.

I have to ask.. how is your little one now?

He sounds amazing!

I'm fascinated by all the 'bright not gifted' comments. I was a certified (lol) gifted child, high IQ, ran the gamut of gifted programs, selective school, academic awards, 1st place in my degree at uni, and from my mum's memories of me, I was much less advanced at 2.5!

I'm re-evaluating everything, maybe I'm only medium bright after all 😂

Howling!! 🤣🤣
Your kid sounds like my kind of human

I have two sons..

Son 1: Late to walk (18 months), late to talk (at 2.5 he only used single words) - late to do everything. Wasn't reading before he started school - though recognised letters and could write his name.

Son 2: Early for everything. Walked at 10 months, decided to potty train himself before he was 2. His language was amazing from a young age. Incredible hand to eye coordination. Reading by the time he started school (not taught, just picked it up).

Now they're mid teens, guess which one is the exceptional, very very gifted student? Son 1! Son 2 is very clever, but Son 1 is the one that blows minds!!

no