Is my 2yo gifted?

[MumofToddle]

I’ll be upfront, I‘ve only created this thread because I suspect I’m right and I’m looking for validation 😂I also know how insufferable that is and that I deserve to be taken down a peg, so please do feel free to disabuse me of my notions if I deserve it.

I think my 2.5yo son might be verging on ‘gifted’ (as opposed to merely clever, which I know he is without needed confirmation from anyone else). Here are some of the things he can do:

• complete verbal fluency - speaks in lengthy, complex sentences, for example ‘mummy, daddy said after we go swimming we are going to granny’s house because we need to borrow her car so you can go to London’. Has a good vocabulary - regularly and correctly uses words like ‘marvellous’, ‘surprising’, ‘mischievous’, ‘famished’.
• very good recall - for example he has a reference book of animals and can tell you the scientific names for about 60 animals, having been told them once or twice on previous readings
• can read simple words and some sentences. We didn’t teach him this so don’t know where it came from. For example today we drove past next and he said ‘N E X T, that says next’. He can read simple sentences in books he hasn’t seen before, such as ‘where is spot?’ (By sounding out the letters to work out the word)
• Can write his own name unassisted and copy letters if I write them first (imperfectly but recognisably)
• can name / discuss his feelings. Has basically never had a tantrum but will say ‘I’m disappointed because I don’t want to leave the park’.

What do you think - gifted, or just bright? It wouldn’t change anything either way as we don’t have any desire or intention to try and hot house him or interfere at all in his very relaxed, low pressure childhood, but I’m curious!

He sounds pretty exceptional to me. I have a DD of a similar age who tends to be more articulate than her peers but in no way is learning to read her sentences are more ‘my lost my baby’ than anything complex. Enjoy him!

I’d say bright for sure. Gifted I wouldn't say so

Generally they turn out like everyone else with no evidence of their early advancement. Or they turn out like me where everyone pushes you to go to university because you're "too bright not to", expecting great things of you, when you'd rather do something more vocational but, because you're young and haven't let learned to assert yourself, you go along with it. (I also took the extra step of disappointing everyone by starting my family young and being a SAHM). Or they end up doing exceptional things, but I think that's not the majority.

My child is also very gifted and is doing a PhD but you'd never know how incredibly advanced the academics were during their childhood now. They blend in with their PhD peers.

BTW, one of the most accomplished people I know who is an incredible genius in their field started out with a very slow academic start.

He sounds lovely, enjoy every minute!

Over the past thirty years I have had the privilege of teaching a number very young children who sound similar to your lovely boy.

They are almost always a pleasure to teach, but I wouldn’t call them gifted as such. The children who send shivers down your spine (in a good way!) are a little different. They have almost all had an insatiable curiosity unlike other children, together with another quality that is harder to define, perhaps creativity, that just made them truly special and unforgettable. You just knew they could set the world alight and you wanted to do anything to support their genius really. They also weren’t generally the cleverest or brightest, they just had something else that’s hard to define.

I could properly read before I went to reception, didn't go to nursery and both parents left school at 14 with no qualifications, so whilst clearly I had access to reading material I wasn't hot housed, we didn't even have bookshelves, until my dad built me some for my bedroom for my fifth birthday.

I did well academically and didn't have to try particularly hard. That's not always a good thing, if I'd had to work for things and had been pushed maybe I could've achieved more. Instead my parents were just a bit taken aback.
Once I got to school it became more apparent and I did end up in G&T programmes etc. It definitely gave me a path out of a fairly disadvantaged background.

I'm not exceptional, I won't win a nobel prize, I have no particular genius talents or traits. I have good degrees and a good job, I notice sometimes my brain thinks about things differently to others, but there's no discernible impact to my life.
Let your child be a child. If they are gifted it will become apparent in time.

I don't know what the distinction is between 'gifted' and 'merely clever'. I am probably a dinosaur, but I remember when schools identified children as 'gifted and talented,' and that was quite a broad-brush category. The way you're using it, though, makes me think you're thinking of 'gifted' as being a child who may really not fit in with their age group.

It definitely sounds as if your child is unusual - you're describing a child with outstanding abilities in different contexts, so it's clearly not a fluke.

I'd say, if you can, push to the back of your mind the curiosity about how your child compares with other children. But watch to see your kid isn't getting bored, and be ready to go into bat for them about boredom.

In what way does it matter whether he is gifted or not? What difference does it make to anything at all?

To be pedantic, which is probably appropriate here, hyperlexia is reading without understanding. Early reading with comprehension is something different.

In terms of suggesting autism- or indeed ADHD - I met a group of mums and kids online when our gifted / unusual children were around 3. Ten years on, every single one of them has a diagnosis. Including my v chilled socially able daughter who despite being sloth like has ADHD. And dyspraxia and probably dyscalculia too. My conclusion is that very high ability is just another part of the field of neurodivergence.

Your son does sound unusual. I have only ever met one other child reading like that at that age. DD is in too .3%, but was way behind that.

It matters to me because I’m his mother and I am exceedingly interested in everything to do with him 😁

It doesn't but, just as learning disabilities need different academic support, there are needs among those with higher academic capabilities as well (and sometimes those with the learning difficulties do have higher academic capabilities as well). In my experience, those for who academics come easily will extend themselves, if given the support and opportunities, so it's not that hard.

What matters more is giving them a well rounded experience. Those who are gifted or ND are much more likely to suffer mental health struggles in the teens and beyond, so I think special attention should be given to well being for these kids.

Autism 3 of my 4 children were like this and still are as am I and several others in my family

Sorry, have just realised he is not reading books. But still extraordinary for 2.5.

School may not be straightforward

My DD and my DS2 both have a good understanding of emotions and are Autistic. My other DS can't deal with his emotions at all and will leave the room, blank someone and refuse to engage with anything that makes him feel uncomfortable.

DS2 is very intelligent, top 2% on IQ tests, part of his Autism assessment. The very experienced psychologist that diagnosed him was raving about how smart he was. I haven't seen any sign of giftedness except his early ability to dream up interesting ways to get back at his siblings when he's angry at them. He was very vocal from a young age but had a severe speech delay so nobody could understand what he was saying in his long speeches. He's doing effortlessly good at school but not brilliantly. I think being intelligent can be very useful in life, I'm not sure being gifted is necessarily a good thing.

Your DS is very advanced for his age. I expect if he did an IQ test he'd score very high for his age. The skills needed tend to mean higher outcomes for people who think in specific ways. I'd be surprised if he didn't meet the definition for gifted currently, whether that will be the case long term no one can say.

It matters because all children deserve interest and care from their parents?

If the OP had asked whether we thought her child was an outlier in the opposite direction, would you have been so dismissive?

In my experience if they seem very bright at that age it means very little - it all seems to even out with their peers over time, and the most important thing is to remember that their intelligence (or lack of) is irrelevant at that age when all they need is love and security.

He is without a doubt, exceptional for his age!

I was remarkably ahead of my peers as a child. It turns out, as an adult, that neurodivergency is a factor.

It is not at all uncommon for neurodivergent people to be not just bright, but wildly ahead of their peers at young ages. Not flagging this as a negative, but it is worth being aware of, because life’s challenges are indeed more challenging as you get older, if you are neurodivergent.

In my experience, working with gifted students at university, they struggle socially and emotionally.

put the reference books away and play in the park is my advice. If your child is bright then that’s not the thing they need help with iyswim. It’s very tempting to lean further in, but honestly don’t.

The thing about posting on the Gifted and Talented board is that the answers are skewed. Parents of gifted and talented kids hang out there so you will get loads of answers saying their kids were the same.

For what it's worth my DC couldn't do any of that at 2 😂.

My DD was like this at the same age, I'd now say she's still bright but I wouldn't say gifted. Along with most others here though, she's also been diagnosed with ASD.

If your child is bright then that’s not the thing they need help with iyswim

But that's not how it works.

Being 'bright' doesn't mean 'stays cheerfully ahead of the class with no intervention'.

A child who doesn't fit in with his or her peers is liable to find school rough.

DS2 was like this. Very very bright. Still is aged 13 and top of the class for everything! No ASD, just a clever boy.

Walked at 9 months, could decipher warnings on match boxes at 1yo, ie don't put fire on the baby 😁

Has an amazing memory, just an all round fab intellect

Enjoy it @MumofToddle its great fun

My daughter was similar & is ahead of her peers at 13 but i still wouldn’t say “gifted”

my son never spoke until he was 3 & yet he is also way ahead of his peers & likely to perform at a similar level to his sister based on tests / grades in comparison to hers so he is a clever child but again not necessarily gifted and had you saw him at 2 you might have thought he was behind kids of a similar age.

and actually I wouldn't describe DS2 as gifted, just very bright. Just seems to naturally bright and interested in everything

You've pretty much described my son at two. He's definitely v bright (now top of the top sets in a good school) and still absolutely loves learning and doing anything the uses his brain. Not neurodiverse. He never really had tantrums either and I think it was because he could always articulate what the issue was, even if it was randomly specific. It felt like a privilege to have such an insight into his mind even when he was tiny.

I wouldn't try and label him as anything, just enjoy him and his company. Have plenty of books around and plenty of adventures and conversations.

Get him doing sport too, it's good for resilience. From my own experience it you breeze through school then needing to work hard at something can feel like a shock (it took me a decade to learn to drive because I couldn't get my head round the fact that I could get good at something by working at it rather than being effortlessly good at it )

My eight year old Grandson was exactly the same. Diagnosed ASD at an early age( due to cousins being the same) He went to nursery and school until the age of 6, but now home educated. When in the company of his peers who are still at school ,he is way above them intelligent wise.