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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Is my 2yo gifted?

166 replies

MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 21:21

I’ll be upfront, I‘ve only created this thread because I suspect I’m right and I’m looking for validation 😂I also know how insufferable that is and that I deserve to be taken down a peg, so please do feel free to disabuse me of my notions if I deserve it.

I think my 2.5yo son might be verging on ‘gifted’ (as opposed to merely clever, which I know he is without needed confirmation from anyone else). Here are some of the things he can do:

  • complete verbal fluency - speaks in lengthy, complex sentences, for example ‘mummy, daddy said after we go swimming we are going to granny’s house because we need to borrow her car so you can go to London’. Has a good vocabulary - regularly and correctly uses words like ‘marvellous’, ‘surprising’, ‘mischievous’, ‘famished’.
  • very good recall - for example he has a reference book of animals and can tell you the scientific names for about 60 animals, having been told them once or twice on previous readings
  • can read simple words and some sentences. We didn’t teach him this so don’t know where it came from. For example today we drove past next and he said ‘N E X T, that says next’. He can read simple sentences in books he hasn’t seen before, such as ‘where is spot?’ (By sounding out the letters to work out the word)
  • Can write his own name unassisted and copy letters if I write them first (imperfectly but recognisably)
  • can name / discuss his feelings. Has basically never had a tantrum but will say ‘I’m disappointed because I don’t want to leave the park’.

What do you think - gifted, or just bright? It wouldn’t change anything either way as we don’t have any desire or intention to try and hot house him or interfere at all in his very relaxed, low pressure childhood, but I’m curious!

OP posts:
Allthingsdecember · 01/10/2023 22:10

It’s so hard to say when they are so little.

He sounds like me as a toddler. I did pretty well at school/university and still love to learn, but I’m not gifted.

My Dsis is gifted though (amazing results in everything at school, PHD, and multiple academic publications/awards). She was late to talk, was behind in reading and maths until she had been at school for a couple of years, and threw constant tantrums.

Just enjoy your lovely boy and meet him where he is in terms of development.

coxesorangepippin · 01/10/2023 22:11

He sounds bright but not gifted.

My son was completely bilingual aged three.

Said to me, aged 3 :'Iguana: it's not English, not French, what language is it?'.

He's bright, but not gifted

ADHDQueen · 01/10/2023 22:14

My first thought was that he sounds like my daughters at that age. Youngest was eventually diagnosed with ASD at 12, followed by her sibling at 18. I thought they were just gifted, like you.

I was diagnosed ADHD a while ago & and am currently awaiting an ASD assessment myself. Given that you're diagnosed ADHD yourself, it's the most likely explanation tbh. Forewarned is forearmed.

OstrichInPink · 01/10/2023 22:15

PositanoBay · 01/10/2023 21:39

He does sound clever! Enjoy him!!
My first was like this, very bright. The second - thick as a brick!!

Edited

If this was edited I hate to think what it said before.

ArcticLadybird · 01/10/2023 22:16

My eldest was very similar. Diagnosed ASD in Y6.

MusicMum80s · 01/10/2023 22:18

Sounds gifted- by which I mean IQ of 130+ (top 2 percent)

Gifted doesn’t mean you are a genius at all which I think some people are conflating.

Also does not sound like ASD.

Thisismynewusername1 · 01/10/2023 22:18

Who knows?

lots of kids seem advanced early on but other kids catch up and you wouldn’t know the difference at 16. Kids grow and mature at different rates.

friend of mine is seriously gifted- maths at Cambridge, PhD etc. completely normal kid growing up.

one of mine didn’t learn to read until year 3. Offered an Ivy League university.

i could read and write easily by 3. Full understanding, not just decoding. Struggled at school- if I was interested I got top
marks, but generally I wasn’t so didn’t 😂. I preferred to be off in the worlds offered to me by fiction books.

I also really struggled with the way we were taught at school. Made no sense to me. Got to uni and found it a breeze.

bin off all ideas of “gifted” and focus on your child learning about the world, how to function in society. Take him places and do things with him, make his life rich and interesting. It won’t make a blind bit of difference whether he’s gifted or not, he’ll learn either way.

notahappybunny7 · 01/10/2023 22:18

Yeah I think the autism route to. Work on social skills if you can.

OstrichInPink · 01/10/2023 22:19

Can PPs please say what it is that may suggest autism? I'm really interested.

GG1986 · 01/10/2023 22:21

Sounds like my daughter when she was 2, she was diagnosed with ADHD at 7, she is really smart, creative and quick thinking. She is doing really well at school.

elizabethdraper · 01/10/2023 22:24

Sounds similar to mine.
Doing well in primary school
Nothing gifted or exceptional so far

muchalover · 01/10/2023 22:25

My sons first reading book at 5 y/o was lord of the rings. He couldn't read anything the week before. Still reads a book a day.

He had an in depth chat with a nursery nurse at 3 about surrogacy as he had "watched" a programme about it.

Yup ASC diagnosis at 11 but consultants knew at 2 y/o.

Original poster
MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 22:25

OstrichInPink · 01/10/2023 22:19

Can PPs please say what it is that may suggest autism? I'm really interested.

I’m quite interested in this too, though I do think there is a tendency in people to conflate specific areas of high skill in early years with autism (and of course those things can go together). I don’t think it’s likely in this case because his social skills are very good, he has no symptoms / signs of autism other than being very bright, and I suspect my MIL (who is a medical professional who specialises in working with autistic adults) might have mentioned it.

That said, autism is a many-varied thing and there are as many ways for autism to present as there are autistic people, so who knows - at his age it can’t be ruled out. I would be quite surprised though!

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 01/10/2023 22:26

OstrichInPink · 01/10/2023 22:19

Can PPs please say what it is that may suggest autism? I'm really interested.

Parent is neurodivergent.

Child is hyperlexic which can occur in ASD.

Being sociable at an early age doesn't preclude ASD clever autistic children are expert maskers which works until it doesn't.

Original poster
MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 22:26

muchalover · 01/10/2023 22:25

My sons first reading book at 5 y/o was lord of the rings. He couldn't read anything the week before. Still reads a book a day.

He had an in depth chat with a nursery nurse at 3 about surrogacy as he had "watched" a programme about it.

Yup ASC diagnosis at 11 but consultants knew at 2 y/o.

He has excellent taste in literature!

OP posts:
SpadeAndBucket · 01/10/2023 22:26

I have one very similar (except not at all chilled!!) and I'm definitely assuming she's gifted - everyone who meets her is gobsmacked.

Mine is 2y10 months and can do everything you listed except copy words legibly. She can write quite a lot of letters well and words like her name and hello, but anything with too many lines gets in a muddle. She also knows hundreds of words in other languages from VERY casual exposure and seems to know things I don't remember ever showing her (i.e. correctly identifying countries on a map), can tell you the next line in any of the 100+ picture books we own.

However, my DD has a bunch of issues (sleep is a nightmare and has been since birth, lots of issues with food, very anxious which is heartbreaking) and we're definitely assuming ASD.

If you ever want to chat gifted toddlers send me a PM!

Original poster
MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 22:28

lifeturnsonadime · 01/10/2023 22:26

Parent is neurodivergent.

Child is hyperlexic which can occur in ASD.

Being sociable at an early age doesn't preclude ASD clever autistic children are expert maskers which works until it doesn't.

Show quote history

‘Works until it doesn’t’ was exactly my experience & why I don’t rule it out, even though I don’t think it’s likely. I was an adult before I was diagnosed and I often wonder how much easier my childhood and turbulent teenage years might have been if I had been diagnosed as a child!

OP posts:
Fedupdoc · 01/10/2023 22:28

Similar to my daughter. She’s now almost 8, being assessed for ASD, still clever, but I wouldn’t say gifted

lifeturnsonadime · 01/10/2023 22:29

I don’t think it’s likely in this case because his social skills are very good, he has no symptoms / signs of autism other than being very bright

You are quite possibly right but I said the same about my son when he was 2. He is autistic, his social skills were another learnt skill.

Toughsteak · 01/10/2023 22:29

Yea gifted

Original poster
MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 22:30

SpadeAndBucket · 01/10/2023 22:26

I have one very similar (except not at all chilled!!) and I'm definitely assuming she's gifted - everyone who meets her is gobsmacked.

Mine is 2y10 months and can do everything you listed except copy words legibly. She can write quite a lot of letters well and words like her name and hello, but anything with too many lines gets in a muddle. She also knows hundreds of words in other languages from VERY casual exposure and seems to know things I don't remember ever showing her (i.e. correctly identifying countries on a map), can tell you the next line in any of the 100+ picture books we own.

However, my DD has a bunch of issues (sleep is a nightmare and has been since birth, lots of issues with food, very anxious which is heartbreaking) and we're definitely assuming ASD.

If you ever want to chat gifted toddlers send me a PM!

Oh gosh, all my sympathy on sleep - mine is and always has been a horrific sleeper. He didn’t sleep more than 45 mins at a time until he was 1 and even now he wakes a couple of times a night and takes a million years to fall asleep.

i’m sorry your little one struggles with anxiety ♥️ she’s lucky to have you as her champion

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 01/10/2023 22:30

MumofToddle · 01/10/2023 22:28

‘Works until it doesn’t’ was exactly my experience & why I don’t rule it out, even though I don’t think it’s likely. I was an adult before I was diagnosed and I often wonder how much easier my childhood and turbulent teenage years might have been if I had been diagnosed as a child!

Show quote history

We've now cross posted. My DS would have definitely benefited from early diagnosis. He ended up a school refuser. He's now back in mainstream 6th form and has applied to Oxford for his chosen subject.

It's not an easy path.

Just keep your eyes out for struggles, hopefully they won't happen and he's just a bright happy child.

SpadeAndBucket · 01/10/2023 22:34

Sending so much solidarity re: sleep, it really is life destroying!!

With the anxiety it's so strange because like your son, she's exceptional at describing what she's feeling and can say things like "I feel like something bad might be going to happen but I don't know what!". Very useful for me that she can spell it out but so awful to hear.

SarahAndQuack · 01/10/2023 22:35

coxesorangepippin · 01/10/2023 22:11

He sounds bright but not gifted.

My son was completely bilingual aged three.

Said to me, aged 3 :'Iguana: it's not English, not French, what language is it?'.

He's bright, but not gifted

Grin Oh come on! Do you know how much of the world's population is bilingual?! It has bugger all to do with being gifted.

PrimarilyParented · 01/10/2023 22:35

I think the difference between bright and gifted here might be how much is repetition of information and how much is independent thought and ideas. For me, the fact that my son has a fantastic vocabulary is merely a result of having an oxbridge educated English teacher as his mother, but his thought processes and the way he considers the world are really what make him intelligent. FWIW I think he’s just very clever rather than gifted, but then I think that of myself and some people would agree where others would disagree. To be honest I don’t think it matters so long as your son is happy.