Should I get my son assessed by an educational psychologist?

[figandmaple16]

I don't like to sound boastful, or brag about my son. But I am in the process of getting my son tested by an educational psychologist because I am curious to see how 'gifted' he is. But I am wondering if this is just something that every parent thinks their child is and like I am one of those pushy parents. The nursery room supervisor approached me recently, showing me photos of the things he was doing on the blackboard unprompted (some maths equations and writing the alphabet) and told me they would try to do some more activities tailored to him.
The reason I want to get him tested is because I want to help him develop in a more academic way, perhaps changing his nursery to one that will have more of a curriculum, getting private tuition which is age appropriate, finding kids more like him etc.
Right now, all he knows has been taught to him at home. So he is kind of home schooled but in a fun way where really he is the boss and everything we do is just around his interests. I also worry about him getting bored once he reaches school age as the nursery room supervisor said that in her opinion he was on the level of a primary 2 year old (Scotland).
He is nearly 3 and a half and is reading, though not fluently(we haven't really practiced all that much but he can read some kids books all the way through). He is sounding out words and asking constantly how a word is spelled. He is great at maths, he does basic addition and subtraction up to 20. But can do other ways bits beyond that for example adding x number to a whole number. He can recognise and tell me a written number in the thousandths and can write them down if I give him a number. He has a basic understanding of gravity, some body systems, the water cycle and some others. He is always asking 'whats inside x?' so he learns that way. He know very basic chemistry, such as the structure of an atom, some chemical formulas and a few functional groups as well as how the abbreviations on the periodic table work. He can write all the numbers, as Ive mentioned, and can write the alphabet (sometimes doing fancy and bubble letters) and write words though he generally writes in capitals and doesn't get spelling correctly (he writes them how they sound). He also can count in multiples of 2, 5 and 10 and is learning 3. He can count them to any number though he generally never reaches 100 (unless its multiples of 10) because he gets a bit bored demonstrating.
Am I being a pushy parent? As after reading on here, he is clearly not the only child his age in the world that can do this, so in a way am I just clutching at straws? Or am I validated for wanting to challenge him more and look for more suited environment etc? I am kind of just looking for validation in a way, is he gifted or is he just the normal intelligent toddler?

He is also a very talented piano player (Yamaha electric)

I guess it just depends what you will do with the outcome of the assessment for schooling etc.

Don't forget you want to encourage social development as well as academic when looking at nursery places. It sounds like his current nursery has taught him his knowledge if you haven't so you may be as well to stick

Would you do anything different if he were classed as ‘gifted’? Whether he’s classed as gifted or not, you’d still feed his curiosity and explore stuff with him.

If he has no problems with his current place then why move? He might like the social aspect of nursery or have a fantastic imagination or doodle stuff on his own...

I have not joined, but there is a website called potential plus that has materials/links of stuff to support gifted kids. You can always do stuff to extend him at home. If he’s happy at school/nursery I don’t think I’d worry too much?

sounds like you're in the process of doing this whether necessary or not.
having two gifted children and having had them assessed i now realize it was a waste of time and mental space.
it didn't change any of their options and they each had their own struggles and certainly didn't make life easier for them.
i wouldn't suggest it, i'd just work on stretching their non school options (trips, museums, extra curricular etc.)

How well does he play with other children?

@April45 We want to get him assessed so myself and his dad know where he is academically. He is our only child and we find it hard to compare him to other kids as we don't see them day to day. It would also help us perhaps change nursery, this is because there is another private nursery that is part of a private primary and secondary school. The advantage to this one is that they have a smaller teacher to child ratio, meaning that they would be able to spend more time with him. It is also very open where kids of different ages are mixed as well as a more structured curriculum. We could just change it right now, but this one is a bit out the way and more of a hike for me and his dad, however if he is assessed to be significantly more advanced, it would push us to do it. As anytime we ask him if he is looking forward to nursery or if he wants to go, he always replies no. I suspect it is because he is bored there as he gets along and socialises with the kids really well, he is actually pretty popular as kids come running up to greet him and try to coax him over to play with them when he is there.
He started going to nursery at 2 years old as I returned to studies but the main reason was for socialising and building that skill, however, he only went for 4 and a half hours one day a week. We took him out for the summer and when he returned at 3 years old (his current) he goes for two days a week and again 4 and a half hours each time. So he most certainly learned things he knows at home as we spend all our time with him.

@Namenic Certainly we would still feed his curiosity, he is super inquisitive we would not get away without doing so. However, if he were to be assessed as above average or gifted it would solidify our decision on changing nursery as we were fairly reluctant to do so (as he has built friendships, it is familiar to him etc), it would also give us more push to get some private tuition to keep his window of plasticity open.
As I mentioned in the comment to April, he is very social and popular in the nursery but he is always wanting to interact with older children, the other nursery would enable him to do so.
As I mentioned in the reply to April, he never has much enthusiasm for nursery. He is very extroverted, and has friends but I think he gets bored easily there.

@fallfallfall in what way didn't it make life easier for your children?

@Parker231 he plays really well with other kids. He is very extroverted. The only problem he seems to have is that his conversational skills are above that of kids his age, so they don't understand him very well and he gets little to no feedback even during imaginative play. However, he has a great sense of humour and can be very silly which makes him popular with kids his own age. When it comes to social activities, he prefers to play with older kids or with adults, although I encourage him more to play with kids his own age as its a bit sad when older kids don't really want to play because of his size, also, they can be a bit rough with him!

He might benefit from more hours at nursery - he’s only had a few hours a week and not consistently if you took him out for the summer. Does he go to playgroups with you or toddler gymnastics or football?

Have you heard of hyperlexia? Sounds very much like it.

figandmaple I will tell you that being an only child will skew the results significantly and will not be an accurate reflection. The 1-1 contact with adults really leads to increased skills in areas that are tested esp vocabulary and math.
Indeed again if an only child and considering private go for it. Knowing he has an IQ of 160 doesn’t change the fact that if you can provide that environment do it.
That’s a difficult question because it wasn’t a particular event or a specific thing. Some of it the usual teen angst, which isn’t related to cognitive abilities.
Eldest despite abilities developed severe exam anxiety and the other struggled with life after academics.
I don’t even think I kept the report, I remember the oldest scored over 150 in everything and dd was even higher.
It really meant nothing to anyone other than me.

If he is happy, social not frustrated, not misbehaving, not bored - I would leave well alone quite honestly. His nursery sounds nice. Start to think about schools and what is around that will suit him/stimulate him.

I’m not sure what you think will come out of this.

DS was assessed because of issues at school (going off and doing his own thing, not doing the basics but turning up with a university level maths book and grilling his teacher) turns out he has a bloody high IQ and functions as a level much higher than his age and the teachers were just at a loss (not knowing if he was not listening, daft as a brush or a dotty professor). The school was happy because this explained that he wasn’t naughty or ignoring the teacher but just processing things at a rather theoretical level.

And IQ doesn’t mean high achiever (mines high - haha - and I am a case in point here)

Similar examples to Lords post, but the school really didn’t offer much support or direction. And their support and direction for my two was often silly.

Your DS sounds very clever. I would get him into the best school you can afford. I would wait to assess IQ for a few years. In any event, gifted children need to be extended laterally over and above school through things like music (start the violin too?), chess etc unless you can get him into somewhere like Westminster under. You also need to make sure they learn to fail by doing things like eg sport, if they aren’t that good at it. It is difficult to tell until 10/11 plus years old if a gifted child also performs well in exams and if they are specialists (eg science/maths types) or all rounders. Hopefully once he starts reading fluently he will just devour books and entertain himself. No person however gifted is good at absolutely everything, so there are always areas to focus on. Lots of gifted Oxbridge types in my family and generally speaking I think best to push other stuff like music than pure academics so they fit in socially at least in the younger years.

Excellent recommendation petswoodmomof3

All three of mine were assessed. Varying degrees of giftedness. It has made absolutely no difference to outcomes. In fact, the one who assessed middle IQ -wise (if my kids, not nationally) and was given several opportunities to work with older children achieved significantly less academically speaking. The one who assessed lowest has the best overall results because of her work ethic.
The highest IQ kid can’t make up her mind about anything because she has so much going on in her head she can’t commit to a specific focus.
Be careful what you wish for. I would assess if his brightness is causing problems, but not for any other reason. (As an FYI, dc3 was assessed as we were emigrating and there was a danger we would be refused on her medical grounds. The assessment was to provide evidence of learning ability. She was assessed as between 7 and 12 years ahead across the board.) the other two were assessed by school back when it was de rigeur to have G&T programmes.
The most gifted one had two years of counselling in school because she wasn’t hanging out with the other kids at break time (at 5/6yo). School instigated. She was quite happy on her own. She loved the counselling though. Got to hang out with an adult and chat and do cool projects. Much more her thing. After two years they said oh yeah she’s fine. She just doesn’t have much in common with the others and prefers her own company.
Yes. We know. It would have been much more use to figure out how to get her to engage with her peers rather than to make the issue worse

He sounds like a hyperlexic child, I would think about exploring that as a possibility first.

He is 3. No matter how gifted, talented, whatever, everything at that age needs to be based primarily around play.

Don't push him higher, make his learning wider, so he can learn stuff that isn't necessarily on the school curriculum. That way he won't be bored when he goes to school.

For instance: native birds, breeds of dog, astronomy, rocks and minerals, types of aircraft, architecture etc.

Can he play noughts and crosses or draughts or Connect 4?

I think you need to be careful, I wouldn't imagine many other children know about atoms and gravity, this could really impact socially when interacting with children his own age.

You clearly like pushing him and sharing your knowledge. Sounds like you've already decided an academic route for him, and it's obvious he can take on these ideas. If you know you'll go through private education, I'd move sooner rather than later so he can adjust to the environment before starting school.

I see someone else has mentioned hyperlexia - glad it’s not just me who can spot it a mile off

OP, these threads always go the same - the sneering, the digs, etc. “Don’t encourage their giftedness or their special interests, because this will only emphasise how different they are from their peers!”

Guess what? They’re going to be different anyway.

Hyperlexia goes hand in hand with ASD (what would have been Aspergers I guess) although there’s a school of thought that some hyperlexic children don’t turn out to be on the spectrum (hyperlexia type iii). I disagree with that personally.

@Parker231 yeah we go to a play group twice a week and started taekwondo every Saturday in Novermber. I do want to increase number of days that he attends but not necessarily the length of time he is in each day. The other nursery does 3 days minimum.

@Haworthia No I hadnt ever heard of it, but I have just done a quick Google search. I don't think this is what he has, he had been able to recognise numbers and point to the right number since he was around 12 months. However, with reading, although he was able to memorise certain words at a young age, he has only started now to really read sentences and sound out larger words. He has also only in the last say, 9 months or so started to write words. Usually when he is copying words hes fine, though if he writes them sounding them out he sometimes gets the spelling wrong unless he has memorised it before, for example yesterday, he tried to write water on his own and spelled out 'woter'. So rather than an innate ability, I believe it is a skill. But numbers I would say is more innate with him.