Clever children - do you sneer at them, somewhat enviously?

[hunkermunker]

Why?

filthy, I used to nanny for a dyslexic boy - very bright too. His mother and him read a book called 'the gift of dyslexia' by a dyslexic man, which they both found extremely helpful - am American book I think.

He also did a course/workshop which envolved making all the letters of the alphabet out of clay, giving the kids a more spatial sense of them, letting them create them themselves, see them from all sides etc. It was unbelievably helpful for this boy. I hope you find something which will help your DS.

OMG filthy minded vixen!- my ds did just the same thing! I sent him to a sen tutor who was brilliant with him, but he spent most of his time messing around in the toilet (obsessed with how the cistern worked at the time) and in the end he wouldn't get out of the car to go in. I bought him some dyslexia schemes but he won't do them for me. I think he'll get a phd in stubborness!

Can I just elucidate: I don't sneer at clever children. I tend, obviously, to believe that my own two are frightfully bright. I do think some people also get frightfully keen to slap a full G&T on really not frightfully er unusual kids.

thanks you all for your comments (KM, great links, thanks!)I've stopped snivelling now...
Cornsilk, it is so frustrating and worrying isn't it?

Oh Hunker, I think that it rather unkind to label all under-achieving or struggling children as the "lowest common demoninator" and "often the sneeriest loud-mouthed ones". My dd is 9 and has a reading age of approx 2 years lower. Her spelling is awful, she is probably the bottom of her class in terms of academic ability and receives help from the special needs teacher for reading and spelling. But she is a delightful child and suceeds in lots of other areas, is pretty fluent our host country's language, is a great friend and has loads of other lovely qualities. It breaks my heart to think that other parents might consider her to be the "lowest common denominator". And neither she or I sneer at bright kids - we both just wish it was a little easier for her

denominator even

kerrymum
I haven't read the whole thread but I feel huge empathy for your son. I was pushed up a year at the beg of secondary school and it was a real disaster. I didn't catch up academically and emotionally I was completely isolated for some time and was extremely unhappy. Even now I can't really bear to think about it - it's so painful.

I understood that it was now considered a real educational no- no to push kids up a year! What was their explanation to you of the need to do so? Did they have a strategy for his 'social and emotional aspects of learning'? (a buzz expression I've heard). What is their gifted and talented policy?

The only thing I can recommend is to talk to the school and air your concerns, that's so important, give them a chance to help find solutions, they're running the ship, they owe your son support in this dubious decision (IMO).
In addition is there any kind of activity that would increase his macho points? Any kind of martial art? Groups of boys often seem to have a primitive pecking order don't they? Any physical prowess seems to raise a lad in others' esteem.
But I REALLY feel for you. It was one of the most unhappy times of my life and my education never really recovered!

I was pushed up a year and it was fine but I was mature and a December birthday so not that far out of the group. Depends on the child.

FMV, that's so sad. Dylexics have special and very good brains often and a different type of thought. I've worked with some very successful ones who managed to get past the problem. My oldest daughter had huge difficulty learning to read and write - she's slightly dyslexic. She was trying to write an email to her tutor a few weeks ago about the extra dyslexia time she gets, saying to me she wasn't sure if she needed it and there were three words in that short email she still couldn't spell at age 22 which absolutely proved any diagnosis to me.

Complete coinidence but this year a lot of their materials are DVDs of lecturers talking and it is so much easier for her than written notes. So she can revising by watching the screen.

When they are older if they can read books like As. mentioned, gift of dylexia etc, that will help. It's just very frustrating if you're six and clever and can't spell etc. We found age 11+ so much easier for her because it wasn't about how neat is my handwriting and can I spell 20 words a week but how fast is your brain in understanding this difficult concept which she's never had any problem with at all.

DP was the same as your DS is FMF.

Cept, 32+ years ago, when he was at primary school, he was told he was stupid for not being able to read or write properly

Set him up for life. He spent the rest of his childhood years being passed form one ed psych to another (surprise surprise).

Considering how he ended up in his teens, and having left school at 16 without taking exams (he'd been put back a year when very young also because he was off for most of an academic year with mumps meningitis), he's doing pretty well know working in IT earning a decent wage (well, not so great for living in London but ykwim), and he is self taught.

He is an amazing intelligent man, who was severely let down by his primary school teachers. He would be considered fortunate enough to have gone to one of the best School for Boys in North London, except they didnt know how to 'deal' with him either.

His non-dyslexic older brother "always so very intelligent" had managed to get straight A grades always and when to uni etc.

errr no, not know...

The mum across the road just came over to tell me her dd had been put into the G & T group. They were both thrilled, I thought it was lovely. I would show off about mine if they were extra bright but they're not. (Although dd can climb onto shed roof faster than the cat but I don't think that counts).

Oxocube, I wasn't labelling struggling children as the lowest common denominator. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear.

I was talking about those children (and their parents) who aren't that motivated (they may be bright, they often aren't, IME) and like to pull down their classmates by sneering at them for wanting to learn things.

I'm not talking about children like your DD who sounds delightful! I struggled with maths (it's like pages and pages of squiggles with random rules as far as I'm concerned - I could DO English, arts and humanities, but maths and some science - the more maths-heavy stuff was just beyond me totally, partly because I had some abysmal teachers, I'm sure - I remember "getting" maths when I was 11 and had a brilliant teacher who I actually understood - then it all went downhill!)

I'm sorry I wasn't clear - I hope that has clarified what I meant - a bit!

By hunkermunker on Sat 26-May-07 23:27:37
I think it's an interesting thing to explore.

Why is it so awful to talk about children being bright?

Is it Just Not British?

I think it's pandering to the lowest common denominator, who are often the loudest-mouthed sneeriest ones and can't understand why anyone would want to "do all that borin' readin' sh1t".

HM, I ignored the op a little as I got 'triggered', but I know what you mean. I know 2 young women who are teachers and they are sneery about GandT or even just clever kids because they are 'difficult'. One of them I felt like reporting as an unfit to be a teacher! Because she hates reading and doesn't see the point, She is addicted to reality tv...(talking of lowest denominator )

[wry smile]

I've been to a BB eviction night, you know, FMV I'd go again too

But I know what you mean - I can't understand teachers who object to clever children - fgs!

I may be caught dead myself ocassionally watching BB...

What I meant is, she says she doesn't have time to read (in a nseery way) while then talking nonstop about Jospeh/pop idol/american idol/BB whatever....

thanks for that Hunker and I'm sorry if I came across as shitty. I just feel for my dd so desperately - I was also one of those kids who couldn't do maths but I could do English and spelling. My dd struggles with both but has loads of qualities I will never have. I guess I'm just a bit over-sentitive, so apologies.

Oxocube, don't worry, honestly - I am sorry if I caused you any upset - I should've been clearer.

VIXEN where do ou liev?

No but as some others have said I sneer at the parents. I have no problem with people being proud of their children or talking about them. I have friends with children who are doing very very well academically. However, I have known a couple of people who were puke inducing.

They're a rare sort of parent but do exist Everything is down to the child "being very bright". My favourite was being told that their 2 year old didn't want to play with my slightly older child because she preferred playing with older children and adults. It's because she's so bright ... or as I thought that's because she's 2!!! It's called normal development, she hasn't reached that stage yet. I did

But as I said nearly every parent I know isn't like that at all. I would never sneer at the child and wouldn't sneer at parents who do have academically able children. Only at the attitude of a very few.

I don't tend to talk about my sons achievments with the parents from school. It's not the sort of things that comes up in conversation. We're too busy moaning about how hard it is to get out the house in the morning. Or laughing about how they got something wrong or behaviour we're finding difficult. So in some ways I would find it odd if someone came up to me and announced their child was top of the class blah blah blah. Maybe other groups operate differently.

I don't think it's down to a British thing about not boasting but if you're trying to make friends then you talk about the things you have in common. Like children driving you nuts. I have no idea what reading level my sons friends are on, no idea what spellings they have or the score they got in the maths test. I can't imagine ever asking or telling them! I much prefer to moan